My Sister Made Me Show Up at Her Wedding Without My Boyfriend Because We “Aren’t Engaged”

When your relatives do not approve of your partner, life can turn into a disaster. Every time you bring your special someone around for a dinner party it can feel like walking on eggshells, and you may think to yourself, “What are they going to say today?” Sometimes your family can dislike your partner so much that they can even trick you into showing up at family events without them for some crazy reasons.

One of our Bright Side readers, Jane, found herself in quite a frustrating situation when her sister made her show up at her wedding without her boyfriend, and the reason for this was quite a surprise. Here’s the message Jane sent us.

We at Bright Side got together to help Jane find a way out of this family problem, and here’s what we think.

• Talk to your sister Lydia frankly and honestly. Tell her that the way she deceived you by sending that invitation hurt your feelings. Ask her to be honest with you instead of tricking you into doing something you don’t want and making you feel fooled.

• Family relationships can be hard, and at times when things like this happen, it’s better to think about what is more important to you at the moment — your own happiness or your relatives’ opinion of your partner. If you decide that your relationship with Mike is what matters the most to you at the moment, tell your family about it and ask them to be more friendly, patient, and respectful toward the person you love.
• It may sound strange to you, but listening to your sister’s point of view may also be helpful. Sometimes, when we fall in love, we can be blinded by our feelings and emotions, and we can fail to see something really important in our partners and in our relationships. Ask Lydia what is it that she doesn’t like about Mike and why. There is a chance that she can spot something that you have never noticed.

• Let Lydia and her husband get to know Mike better. Plan an event where the 4 of you can spend some quality time together. It can be dinner at a nice, quiet restaurant or a picnic at the park. This can help Lydia and her husband see Mike the way you see him and start feeling more comfortable in his company. Besides, seeing how happy you are around Mike can make them change their attitude.
• Set the limits. If Lydia keeps distancing from Mike, you can try to set some boundaries that you are comfortable with. Tell Lydia that whenever there is a family gathering where everyone comes with a partner, you are going to bring Mike with you. If Lydia wants to spend time with you, but without Mike, suggest that the 2 of you meet without your husbands. The time you spend one-on-one with Lydia can make you closer and help you fix your tense relationship.

We hope that the plan we suggest can help you fix the relationship with Lydia and make her respect you and your partner more.

Has your family ever disapproved of your partner? What did you do to solve the problem?