My Son Stopped Speaking to Me After Moving In With His Girlfriend—Now He Threatens Me

Our reader still helps her grown-up son with money, but he rarely replies to her messages. After repeated calls, he snapped at her. Now she’s unsure whether to respect his distance, push for answers, or blame his girlfriend for breaking their bond.

Dear Bright Side,

My son (24 years old) moved in with his girlfriend last year, and honestly, things have changed a lot since then. We used to be really close. Now, he hasn’t visited me once, even though he lives just 10 minutes away.

I’ve tried reaching out, but he’s always too busy or just doesn’t answer. I still send him money for groceries and stuff, because I want to help, but when I text or call, he just ignores me. It’s been really hard on me, especially since I’m on my own.

Last week, I was feeling extra lonely, so I decided to call him again. I tried calling multiple times in a row, but he didn’t pick up. I left a few messages asking if he was okay and just wanted to hear his voice. After a while, he finally answered, and I tried to casually start the conversation, but he immediately said, “Either you stop calling me every day, or I’ll block you for good.”

That hit me hard. I didn’t mean to come off as overbearing, but I just miss him. I didn’t know what to say. Now, I’m wondering if I’m crossing a line by calling him so often. I get that he’s busy with his girlfriend and their life together, but it feels like he doesn’t care about keeping in touch with me.

I know I’m probably overthinking it, but I can’t help feeling hurt by his reaction. Am I wrong for calling him so much and pushing him to answer? Can I get some advice? Thank you!

Sherry G.

Hi, Sherry,

You are definitely not wrong for missing your son, but he is all grown-up now, trying to build his life, so daily calls and repeated attempts may cross into pressure. We suggest that you pull back a little and observe what happens next. Here are the thoughts you could consider helping yourself feel it less like betrayal:

• Your son has clearly stated a boundary: He does not want to be called daily. Ignoring this boundary will only push him further away. Accept that, for now, you need to step back from frequent calls.

• Adjust your communication method: Stop calling multiple times in a row. That reads as pressure, not care. Instead, you could send one short text once a week, like: “Hope you’re doing okay, thinking of you. No need to reply if you’re busy.” You could also ask him if there’s a way he’d prefer to stay in touch.

• Shift focus to your own routine: Fill the gap with new activities or social connections so that your well-being is not fully dependent on his attention. This reduces the emotional pressure both you and he may feel.

• Cut financial support: If he doesn’t respond but still accepts money, the balance of your relationship is uneven, especially when an emotional connection is missing. Stop sending grocery money unless he directly asks and explains the need.

Wishing you wisdom in navigating this,
Bright Side

Family bonds aren’t the only relationships that test our patience and limits. Friendships can do the same.

In our next story, one reader faced a different kind of hurt—when her best friend’s “honesty” about her looks crossed the line. Would you accept a comment like, “You’re not ugly, but...” from someone you trust the most? Find out how the story unfolded HERE.