5 Reasons Why Sleeping Separately Might Be the Key to the Ideal Marriage

As it turns out 1 in 4 couples choose to sleep in separate beds, a survey shows. While the topic is still considered taboo to admit or even talk about, the benefits can be significant. Even the most loving couple can feel the need to spend their nights apart if their sleep patterns differ. This shouldn’t be seen as a problem or as the relationship being “on the rocks,” but as a means of bettering the quality of your sleep.

Bright Side did some research and wants to present some of the benefits that couples who sleep separately will be able to reap, along with 2 bonuses you don’t want to miss.

1. Your sleep won’t be interrupted.

Sleep deprivation isn’t something to kid around about, since it can cause heart problems, depression, and even diabetes. And if you are not sleeping well in the same bed with your partner, you need to change this. Women are more sensitive to the noises around them, so if their partner is snoring, they will most likely wake up in the middle of the night.

Studies have also found that sleeping with your partner can increase the amount spent in the REM stage. This is the stage where your brain’s operation has increased and your sleep is lighter. This means that sleeping separately will decrease the REM’s duration and keep you free of other distractions.

• So we’re not an old couple, but we have slept in separate rooms since the early days of our marriage. Why, you ask? My husband snores like a chainsaw, and I sleep lightly. He likes a cold room, and I like it hot. He falls asleep to TV, and I need total darkness. Anyway, we fought more when trying to compromise over basic creature comforts and habits of a lifetime than agreeing to disagree and sleeping separately. © Nia Gibbs / Quora

2. You wake up happy and rejuvenated.

This is the result of sleeping without any disturbances. Both partners wake up energized and feel like they can face their respective lives with more focus and control. They are also mentally and physically healthier and they don’t feel resentful toward each other for any sleep disruptions. This way their entire relationship is happier since they wake up refreshed and without any anger whatsoever.

• I’m in bed, lights off at 10:00 PM, alarm at 5:30 AM. My wife heads to bed to read around 2:00 AM and is maybe moving around 9:00 AM. I now sleep in a small, absolutely dark, absolutely quiet room, which I prefer and really require. She gets a cup of tea in bed almost every morning since I’m already up. It isn’t what we would have preferred, but it works. © Jeciron / Reddit

3. You appreciate your partner more.

Intimacy isn’t something you take for granted, since you can’t just roll over to your partner and cuddle. You actually miss their touch and put more thought into how to approach them and spend some time together. This means that this aspect of your life together isn’t becoming a habit, but a rather exciting surprise that keeps you both highly engaged.

The actress and her second husband, TV writer Brad Falchuk, tied the knot in 2018. It was reported that the pair continued to live in separate houses for almost a year after they were married. Gwyneth explained that this arrangement ’’helps with preserving the mystery and also preserving the idea that this person has their own life.’’

4. Arguments and fights might decrease.

When 2 people are sleeping poorly, their frustration tolerance is significantly lower, and they lash out at their partner. Also, a lack of sleep makes people less empathetic to other people’s emotions, something vital in a relationship. Not only that, but sleep deprivation can start more fights between a couple over even the smallest thing. On the contrary, when both partners sleep well, they can treat little problems with better sense and resolve them effectively.

5. You get to enjoy more “you time.”

A much-needed time-out will help both of you recharge your batteries and build a relationship with yourselves. You can read a book, watch your favorite show, or do some meditation before going to sleep. You can also use that time to communicate with your friends and focus on them for a bit. All this space will give you more things to talk about with your partner from your separate experiences.

Sarah Jessica Parker and her husband Matthew Broderick have been married for 25 years. According to an interview, they have worked hard on their marriage, including separation was a crucial factor in getting them together.

BONUS
How to approach the issue with your partner.

If you’ve made up your mind that your partner is disturbing your sleep, you have to talk about it with them. But, you also have to make sure that you communicate it appropriately to them so they don’t feel attacked or lacking in some way.

• You should know the exact root of your sleep issues so they can understand them better.
• Reassure them that nothing has changed about how you feel about them and your relationship. This is just a small change to benefit your sleep.
• You can propose some compromises. Maybe you can sleep together on the weekends and separately on weeknights.
• Try and synchronize your wake-up and sleep times so that you can spend time together before bed and in the morning while having breakfast.

BONUS 2
Spend time cuddling before heading to sleep.

It is important that you don’t stop hugging and cuddling in bed just because you’re not sleeping together anymore. You can still spend some time cuddling every night before eventually going to sleep in your own beds. You can watch a TV show or listen to a podcast together while in one of the beds so the “splitting up to sleep in different beds” doesn’t feel that awkward. It is vital that you don’t stop your nighttime routine even after you started sleeping apart so the closeness remains in your relationship.

Do you and your partner sleep separately and, if so, is it in different beds in the same bedroom or in completely different rooms? If you still sleep together, would you consider sleeping separately?