I Don’t Want to Share My Inheritance With My Stepsister

Family is there for you in everyday moments, celebrating successes and helping you through challenges, reminding you that you are never truly alone. However, some people hide their true selves until they need something. It’s often said that you truly get to know someone when working together, going on vacation, or dealing with money.

This girl shared her story publicly, seeking opinions on whether her actions were justified.

“I have just received a fairly large inheritance. It includes a farm with 80 acres of land with 2 separate houses on it and just over $750,000 in cash, among other things, from my grandparents.

My stepsister and I have never been close. When my mom and stepdad got together she made it quite clear that we weren’t family and she didn’t like me or my mom. She’s a single mother with 4 kids and is struggling. Our country is in the middle of a housing crisis and a cost of living crisis, and my stepsister and her family have just been evicted from their rental property for failing to pay rent. They are currently living in one room at a pretty crappy motel paid for by the government.”

“My husband and I already own a nice 3-bedroom unit and are fairly financially comfortable, even without my inheritance, due to a lot of hard work on our part.

When my inheritance came through, I gifted my mom and stepdad the money to clear their mortgage so they now own their home and have enough to go on their dream holiday. As soon as my stepsister found out about the inheritance she called me being all sweet and nice for about 5 minutes, asking about my husband and 2 kids, etc. Then she asked when she would be getting her share of the money and when they could move into the largest house on the farm. It took me about 5 seconds to start laughing before telling her that I’d only be helping the family. I hung up and blocked her.”

“I’m now being called a selfish, spoiled brat by quite a few people. I feel as if she has never treated us as anything but scum, and she doesn’t deserve anything. I do feel bad for the kids and want to set up a small trust fund for each of them that they can only access when they turn 18.

For anyone wondering, the inheritance came from my deceased dad’s parents who I’ve had little contact with, and it came as a huge surprise. I honestly know what it’s like to grow up with not a lot.”

What people had to say about this

• “Your stepsister is only being nice (and not even all that nice — 5 minutes of niceness hardly qualifies) because you have something she wants. Do you think she would help you? Would she set aside money for YOUR kids? Don’t help her in any way. Your parents can help her now that they own their house free and clear (thanks to you). If they don’t want to let her live with them or help her out financially (because now they can, right?) that should tell you something. I recommend saving your money in case you start a family of your own. If you have extra when your stepnieces/nephews go to college, then you can consider helping them out. If you promise the money and end up needing it yourself, you’ll just get more hate. She should be saving on her own to take care of her children’s education.” Dazzling-Fig-IAGG / Reddit
• “Your stepdad is responsible for helping her if anyone in your family is. That is something he and your mother can sort out if they choose to. There is nothing wrong with helping her, but the way she expected it after ignoring you is pretty gross. A trust fund for her children is a great and kind idea. Anyone who confronts you should be reminded that they can be of help to your stepsister if they feel so strongly about it. It isn’t about being selfish. She is hardly more than a stranger to you by what seems like her own choice.” ArpeggioTheUnbroken / Reddit
• “She said it herself, you and your mom aren’t family to her. She never tried to build a relationship with you as a stepsister, so she’s not able to cash that in for, well, cash, or a better living situation. But you are being generous with the trust funds, and if you do act on that, don’t tell your stepsister or she’ll try to get that money for herself because she thinks she’s owed it.” lemon_charlie / Reddit
• “She’s not your responsibility. You helped out your stepdad, so if he wants to help his daughter now, that’s up to him.” northerntropicaz / Reddit

• “You are not leaving her homeless and broke. Her choices have done that and it’s not your responsibility to fix her mistakes. You’ve already gone above and beyond by gifting your mother and stepdad money they were not entitled to, which cleared their mortgage. They now own a home free and clear, allowing them to house your stepsister if they wish. Your deceased father’s parents did not intend or desire to provide for a non-family member. Anyone calling you selfish is welcome to provide for her.” Apprehensive_W**9612 / Reddit
• “She wanted cash AND a house? I assume she thought she would live in your house for free. Dare to dream of your stepsister after treating you like you don’t exist. Unbelievably obnoxious request.” Jill-up-the-hill-8 / Reddit
• “You, your mother, and her husband should have been discrete about your inheritance and the donation you made to them. I don’t understand why people who inherit can’t keep it under their hat. The more people know, the more they will come begging.” hadMcDofordinner / Reddit
• “She is no different than the random moochers who show up at the door of someone who just won the lottery. She treated you like s*** but now expects you to help her, and you rightly told her to pound sand. She should go back to her baby daddy instead of trying to mooch off of you. She’s homeless and broke entirely due to her actions, and it’s not your responsibility to bail out someone who hates you.” FHTFBA / Reddit

• “I’d be careful about setting up trust funds that are available at the age of 18. They’ll be guilted into giving money to their mom. I’d put stipulations on any fund you set up, like maybe make it a requirement that they get a college degree or go to trade school, etc. And raise the age to something like 25-30 years old. That way they have the motivation to better themselves and are mature enough (hopefully) to not just blow the money or be coerced into funding their mother’s life.” HoosierBeaver / Reddit
• “She has no entitlement to that money by either blood or family obligation — the latter by her own doing. Choosy beggars gonna play. I get she’s in a bad situation but now that you’ve helped your parents out of their mortgage+, shouldn’t there be space for them to help?” Lollipopwalrus / Reddit
• “I wouldn’t give her kids any either. She is going to poison them and they will only be nice to get something out of you.” HeartAccording5241 / Reddit
• “Next time she mentions the inheritance, ask her about one nice thing she’s done to you since she’s suddenly ’family’ now. I doubt there is even one.” No_Fee_161 / Reddit

When a new person joins a family, it changes the dynamic. This girl felt overwhelmed by her stepmom trying to replace her mother, so she excluded her from pre-wedding activities. Read more about it here.