I Excluded My DIL’s Son From Our Theme Park Trip

That's disgusting that you took one child and not both children. It's your fault that you got your son kicked out. I wouldn't let you see either child after that. You are mentally ill.

OPs DIL deliberately dropped off the step child expecting a fully paid outing for her 10 year old otherwise she would not be upset that a trusted baby sitter was used. She lied about an emergency to force her will on the husband's mother (grandma). Where is the step kids bio dad? Or the other grandparents? This is a selfish gate crashing attempt. Yes it's sad that the 10 year old missed out on Disney, but I'm sure the bio mom can take him if he's not been already. Grandparents don't owe babysitting.

Yeah you're wrong. I know I understand your intention that you wanted to have a bonding with your grandson, but excluding other child because of the reason that you are not related was too bad. Even though he's just a step grandson you shouldn't excluded him. Have you ever feel the feeling of being excluded? It's really hurt right? then how come if that boy, what do you think what he would feel after expecting that you can go all and have fun together? You should at least take him with your very loved grandson so that it will become much more happier. Imagine, watching your grandson and your step grandson playing together and having fun, isn't happy? You know love doesn't choose anyone. You shouldn't except anyone, you should accept them all because that's what Jesus did just to save us. If you really feel so bad why don't you lower your pride and apologize to what you did not just in your daughter-in-law most important is her son, so that they can still forgive you.

Everyone here needs a reality check just because two families come together with kids saying you're the grandmother, i am in a blended family my husband and i have 7 kids between us my mum accepted my husband kids as their grandmother no problem, but my husband side of family didn't accept my 4 kids as family to me they are my kids and i am their mum, except my husband's sister didn't accept me as their mum but she accepted my mum as their gran, that upset me very much even though they called me mum she would refer me as my name not as there is your mum and dad it was their is your dad and call me by my name to the kids, my husband has no contact with his sister due to her daughter treating me badly i didn't want that for him he chose me over his sister we have been together for 18yrs but married for 10yrs next month, just because blended families come together with kids doesn't mean either side accepts all the kids as family there is no right or wrong on this grandmother, one of my sons is with someone who has 2 kids before my granddaughter was born i was ready to accept her two kids as my grandkids but the mother didn't want me to be nana to her daughters, blended families doesn't always work out they way it should. That's my experience as a nana

I was in a similar position with my now deceased MIL. She couldn't treat my biological daughter the same as my husband's kids ( we were raising all of the kids full time)MIL said my daughter wasn't the same because she wasn't blood. This was horrible for us a a family and the hurt and heartache that resulted was unbearable. Not confronting this nasty woman swift and harshly is my life's biggest regret. How many grandchildren does this MIL think her one son is going to giver her? Welcome the DIL and her son with open arms or risk losing your own son and "biological" grandson. Your behavior is just nasty and hurtful. I don't know how anyone could be so horrible to a child...

I have to take Grandma's side here. The DIL is solely responsible for this whole thing. Who watches the kids when there's no "work emergency "? How come the son didn't speak up on his stepchild's behalf? He obviously knew about his mom's plans and was fine with it. He only yelled at his mom AFTER his wife found out that despite her best effort her kid was still excluded and she yelled at him. They both knew the plan and the DIL thought she was going to get a day without both children by fabricating the alleged "emergency ". It couldn't have been too much of an emergency if she could leave work and pick her child up from the babysitter paid for by her MIL. She could have just as easily planned a special outing with her own kid for that day but she was thinking only of herself and when her plan backfired she flipped out on her husband who in turn flipped out on his mom. And who the h*ll is she to decide that her MIL cannot see her stepson? And then sends her husband packing it home to his mom? Seems like she was looking for a way out and used the kids, husband and MIL to accomplish that.
As someone with 23 grandchildren and 1 great grandchild I understand the desire to spend time with them without others. I have taken each of them on special outings just one grandchild and myself plenty of times. I have not included stepsiblings of which there are 6. They have their own grandparents and get plenty of solo time with them. My 7 kids know that their kids all share Mommo(me)99% of the time and that each one is special to me in their own way. They love that I make the time and effort to take them as a group twice a year without their parents on our camping trip and then again on New years Eve, by family 2 weekends a year each, and individually at least 2 times a year per grandkid. And all but 6 grandkids are under age 18. If I can manage this without problems then certainly one grandma should have the right to spend one day with one (possibly her only) grandchild without trauma and drama. Her son needs to step up and advocate to his wife on his son's behalf and also appeal to his mom to include his stepson in an activity outside of having said child dumped in her lap when she already has other plans. She is not obligated in any way to include the step-grandchild but would probably be fine with it were she asked ahead of time when there are no other previous plans scheduled. Grandparents babysit because they want to, not because they are obligated. My step-grands are included in my life but they do not nor do their parents expect me to treat them 100% equally. They love being in this huge crazy family but they also cherish the time with their own grandparents without being made to share them.

Unreal that almost everyone is blaming the grandmother. The DIL is NOT entitled to free childcare. She was told no and left him ANYWAYS. There could be a hundred reasons the grandmother didn't want to take both kids. We don't know anything about the 10 year old. A kid you barely know who has behavioral issues would be a nightmare in a busy, public place. As for this making the 10 year old feel bad, that's on the mom, too. She could have asked privately ahead of time, as any responsible adult would do. The DIL/mom is 100% an entitled a-hole.

The DIL apparently didn't ask MIL. Sounds like she took advantage of MIL. When MIL did her thing, DIL got all upset and went ballistic on husband/son, in addition to cutting off contact between Grandma and grandson. I think there's bigger issues going on here instead of this one incident.

I understand wanting special time with your grandson, but to treat another child like you did was wrong and cruel. That innocent child was treated like garbage and you dumped him first place you could. Your DIL should have asked first, but it still is no excuse to treat a child like that.

Yes you are wrong on so many levels. When your son married a woman with children they are yours. You don't get to pick . I would not let you see the child either. And your son should have backed his wife!!

Good grief, woman, are you really this nasty? You sent a 10 yr old child away to a neighbor because his brother, to you, is your grandson and not the other child. What the hell kind of message is that to give to your 8 yr old grandson? Not to mention the very mean message you delivered to that 10 yr old. You also sure told his mother, the mother of your biological grandson and your son's wife, that her 10 yr old is nothing to you. Are you trying to drive a rift between these boys and create problems in your son's marriage? I agree 100% with your DIL. I wouldn't want a person like you anywhere near my children. Your message to each child was different but both were outrageous, and maybe the worse of all is the message you sent your biological grandson. You modeled a willingness to hurt another child for your own selfishness and set apart the other kid as not as deserving because of your very unhealthy idea about what makes a family. It's love, dear, not blood.

That was so wrong that I don’t blame your DIL for cutting you off. 1. She had an emergency. 2. Sounds like you treat her child differently. 3. What you did was so hurtful. 4. I’d do the same as your DIL.

So... the comment about not being free nanny service is harsh. It doesn't day if payment was offered or not. It seems to me but not clear it's a blended family. As a single mother myself I would hope she would want to help because to me family is family and we help each other no matter what cost. I understand some don't think that way. It seems to me she is not accepting if the blended family, but that's my take it's not specifically stated. But quite honestly she sounds horrible. On a side note the person who said that the daughter in law made her problems the mother in law problems apparently has never had to have anyone help her or had anyone ask them for help and quite honestly sounds like a selfish bitch, sorry.

I never comment on these threads but after seeing this I have to tell you what an ***hole you are. I can't even begin to imagine excluding a child and then having the audacity to say that child would have ruined your day?? You have some nerve for real. I wouldn't let you see my kids either because you're emotionally abusive and have NO clue. You're entitled. Get a grip.

You are 100% in the wrong and good for the mama. DIL and your son got married, which meant any child that came prior to that is now also your family. You cannot pick and choose and you've clearly chosen to love one child above another. Which is absolutely disgusting and the older child now probably thinks "Why doesn't my dad's mom love me as much as my sibling". There's no time limit to a theme park so a conversation between you and your daughter in law could've happened. But you turned a cold shoulder to her AND your "other" grandchild. I truly wonder; if your son were to adopt a child, would you feel the same way because they aren't blood related? I'm going to make an assumption and say yes since you don't like your "other" grandchild because (your words) "Not my blood"

No you weren't wrong.. entirely. I could see a little saltiness from the mother but she proved your son picked the wrong one by kicking him out. HER work had some emrgency, ok, that's HER problem. Essentially she put her and her bosses problem onto you. Your son is a weak cuck that took it out on you when he should have dealt with his entitled wife.

Yes you are wrong cause it ain't that childs fault as a mother I completely understand why she did what she did your son should be on her side .

You're a gigantic AH and your son should absolutely block you from having access to his children

Yes you were wrong. You couldn't find room in your heart for another child. I can only imagine how horrible you made him feel. If we're the parents I'd be pissed too. You're the kind of person children need to be kept away from. Children, all of them, deserve love. Shame on you not being able to provide that.

Your horrible..

She's not wrong. There are many factors to consider. Her Money, does the sibling have special needs? We don't have certain information. I take my grands on one on one dates all the time. Doesn't make my horrible 4 not taking the others. And it was last minute. Maybe it would have been a hardship 2 add him.

Except the 10 year old might have already grandparents. If kids have grandparents in their lives already why, do some parents try to mooch off the new grandparents. People are way too entitled. On the other hand if the child has no grandparents and was an infant at the time of the marriage it's difficult. Some people don't get along so well and barely have a relationship with their own family. Sure they aren't the nicest but trying to force someone to just connect isn't likely. People pride themselves on being able to make their own choices and more importantly we don't know what their childhood was like. This isn't an obvious AH situation. Maybe the mom trying to make sure the innocent child gets perks from everyone. She has issues. This was a planned event. I have read other parents trying to get perks from unrelated grandparents, while their kids were already well off. Sorry, but I don't like people coming off as controlling and entitled. More details are needed.

Excuse me, how is thatbDIL SIL son & daughters believe that grandparents are to their grandchildrens free caregiver, or babysitter when you want them to be. Have you askef the grandparent to help instead of assuming thats their part in order to see & spend time with their grandvhildren. Then the DIL turns on her husband cause she did not get her way. Grandmother I applaud for taking with your grandson. Even though i fo dusagree with your DIL & sons response. Please do not say again the one is not your because of blood
Make time for that grandbaby as well alone. God will hold you accountable for that other grand baby as well. Create your boundaries on who you are, what will and will not do. Make sure you let DIL & son know that babysirting is not free and you dont have to babysit. Enjoy your life witout feeling bad....they can pay for child care..like everyone else.

The grandmother's "beloved" grandson is 8 years old and the other child is 10 years old. We can probably safety assume that her son introduced DIL along with her child by the time she was halfway through her pregnancy. This would mean that the grandmother has known the 10 year old for bare minimum 8.5 years and likely her son has been a part of the child's life since he was 1 year old or less.

My guess is she has been treating the 10 year old like they are nothing to her for years and the husband obviously hasn't done enough to stop it. I would want a divorce too.

I'm sorry, but you are wrong. I'd hate to see how you are at birthdays or holidays. It is not the 10 yo child's fault, they are an innocent bystander. Kids don't necessarily understand why they are being excluded. Obviously, mom was comfortable enough bringing the child to you, which would indicate you have interacted with the child in the past. If you grandchild is 8, and this child is 10, that means you have been around this child since they were 2 years old. It is a shame that you still treat the child like an outsider. You're related by marriage. If you accept mom as your DIL, then you should accept the child as extended family. You are a very selfish and rude individual, and I personally do not think she overreacted. She is simply a mother reacting to her child being hurt and excluded. If you didn't want to take the other child, you should have postponed the park visit and done something smaller with both kids.

Very wrong. Grandchildren are grandchildren. Once your son married a woman who has a child that child becomes your grandchild.

I was a step child, I got along with my stepmom but not her mom. She was the evil step grandmother. She always excluded my sister and I, even though we accepted them as family and I got along with everyone else. So I wrote her off

Theme parks are expensive. Maybe the grandmother could not afford to take another child. She still should have not said what she did.

The Brothers Grimm wrote stories about grandmother's like this.

I have not in recent months heard of anyone being so disgusting to a child.

My dad had a 2yo daughter when he met my mum. My mum and dad got together, had 3 kids, while my dad cheated multiple times with his 1st daughters mum, having 3 more kids with her too. He abused my mum for years, drank too much and took her for granted. My grandparents still, until the day they died, treated that first daughter as their granddaughter. They never did and nevrr would of ever treated her differently. Even when they died she had a specific chunk of their will, exactly the same amount the rest of us got. My mum was always so proud that her parents loved her stepchild exactly like her biological children. They would never in a million billion years ever have even considered thinking about leaving her out because she wasn't biologically my mums
Theyd be disgusted at the thought anyone would do that.

The DIL was wrong.Grandma take care of your grandchild ,you don't have to take care of NO ONE ELSES.Im sure he have his own grandparents and DAD.✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️✌️.You did nothing WRONG GRANDMA.HES NOT YOUR GRANDCHILD..HES NOT YOUR SON'S CHILD....

I have 22 grandchildren 11 are by marriage however they all are my grandchildren. Even if I have different feelings for one over the other I would NEVER treat a child like that. If I did this I would expect my son who to go no contact with me over the child he chose to be a father to.

There ia special place for ppl that are mean to children. He will never forget what you did and neither will your precious grandchild. Good for your son, standing up to you

The grandson that the DIL gave birth to? That grandmother is the equivalent of one of those evil fairytale witch mothers. That is disgusting. That's a child. Teachers and coaches don't have to love their students and athletes to be decent to them. This is such a disgusting person. I'm glad the son didn't make excuses for the wickedness. The fact that someone would behave this way towards an innocent child is a psychotic disorder.

Wow. You're being really small. This is not about the daughter-in-law's presumptuous act. That was wrong of her. But what has that poor 10 year old kid done wrong? Even if you find you can't love him you could at least have been nice to him in a situation like this.

Everyone sucks here. One person for excluding a child and the other who forced her child on someone without notice or request. They're all horrible.

My husband isn’t the biological father of my oldest daughter, but you would never know it by the way his entire family treats her. My mother-in-law would never dream of excluding her from anything — she loves my daughter like her own. She is her grandma, through and through. Even my husband’s sister, who doesn’t particularly like me, adores my daughter, because she is family. She’s seen as a cousin to all the other kids, no questions asked, and everyone is excited for the day my husband formally adopts her.

Maybe the difference is that my husband has raised her since she was a baby, or that she doesn’t have another father in her life to share the role. But honestly, I think the real difference is that my mother-in-law has so much love in her heart that she could never treat my daughter as anything less than one of her 26 grandchildren.

In the end, if my mother-in-law didn’t love my daughter, the person who would be most hurt by it would be my husband. He stepped into this role out of love, and making that choice is one of the most important things in his life.

The problem isn’t that you aren’t related to your daughter-in-law’s son. The problem is that you chose not to love him — and now, because of that, you risk losing your grandson too.

Absolutely you were in the wrong. You excepted your daughter in law into the family which should mean that her child is now your grandchild. After all the child is your son's stepchild. You should also ask the other child if he likes his stepbrother as you may have placed a wedge between them.

YTA. They are both your grandchildren either by blood or by marriage. You cannot have favorites and you cannot exclude. They are children. Since one is 10 and the other is eight, the two kids have grown up together and know eachother as brothers. It's not like one is older and the parents just got married and he's having trouble adjusting. You are deliberately putting a wedge between the two boys and trying to break them up. YTA and you need to treat them equally or not at all.

Bright side, you missed the point, she blatantly said she does not care for her son's stepchild. She meant to exclude him and apparently plans to forever. I hope the son can fix things with his wife and then they both cut/limit contact with her. Any attempt to accept the son's stepson at this point would be an insincere attempt to see the other child and everyone would know it. Both children deserve better than that.