I Excluded My Stepson From Our Disney Trip, My Son’s Comfort Comes First

Selfish much?

YOU ARE THE PROBLEM!!!, half siblings or not, teasing & taking things are what older siblings do to the younger ones, your sons dislike of his brother is coming directly from You, he is picking up on Your Negative energy, the fact that you think you did Nothing Wrong speaks volumes as to how you treat your step-son, your husband was ABSOLUTELY RIGHT for leaving and prioritizing his son, he should be contacting a divorce attorney, you are a HORRIBLE PERSON, SHAME ON YOU.

Oh Jodie,
You created this mess. You should have spoken to your husband about how you felt instead of hiding a child's passport. Then made a decision together, you wouldn't be here now

Your kidding right... Your saying HE ruined it. When you agreed to marry him you knew he had a son if you weren't willing to accept his son and treat him as if he was yours you shouldn't have married him. What you did was unforgivable. I actually hope your got home to an empty house... No wonder the boys don't get alone I'm sure you favoring one and seeing the other as a problem didn't help. You didn't even ask YOUR son if he would be ok with it which you shouldn't have to. You planned a FAMILY vacation how would you feel if your husband did the same thing and only wanted the 13 yr old to go and wanted the son you shared to stay home. Passports are only required for international flights so you were actually ok with flying to another country and leaving a child home. You should be ashamed of yourself

I usually don't respond to these post. However, as a parent with two kids from separate partners what you did was unforgivable. If I were your husband not only would I have left you alone on the trip, I'd also be applying for divorce. I hope your step son is a forgiving young man. I hope your poor example of parenting didnt impact him. On the flip side you are teaching your son to treat his older brother poorly and that he should not respect him. This will back fire on you some how. Rather it be long or short term you will feel it. I'll pray for your son and step son.

What I don't get is when she said "I wanted it to be a family affair but my stepson also wanted to come" - the stepson is a part of the family, he became a part of the family when you married his dad

You need to apologize to both your husband and stepson....or you'll spent a lot more years alone on vacations. The more you exclude your stepson from family celebrations, the more he will resent his half brother. He is still your husband's son( even though it's from his first marriage) he's still family. Alienate him and you will alienate your husband...maybe even push him out the door. Remember he loves both his son's equally, it's time you do.

So you marry a man with a child, and tell that man that he shouldn't be so pressed about you excluding his son, because he's not your own child? The kids don't get along because of you. You are the problem. What would be even more funny is if he divorces and leaves you, and then not interact with the child the two of you have together. That's called child neglect. This is the reason many fairy stories always tell of the evil step mother. If his child is rude and disrespectful, that needs to be addressed. I understand if that's the case or the step son bullies your son. There are many ways this could play out. We only have some of the story. The back story is definitely needed. Ultimately, if your son and his son can't get along, then time to file for divorce. Maybe consider not marrying someone with a child before hand.

If this was "AITA", you would hands down be TA. I think you should count your blessings he hasn't filed for divorce...or maybe he has?

Wow. You are a selfish entitled b word.and you are also teaching your kid yo be the same. You hid hid passport? Maybe sit the older kid down together. and tell him what behaviors will not be tolerated, maybe do a lot of mature parenting things. You knew he had a kid when you married him. The child is part of your family. Well, hes not. Hope he divorces you very quickly.

Shame on both parents. When they decided to get married they also decided to blend a family. Whether the brothers get along or not isn't the issue. Only the parents can mold how the brothers deal with their apparent dislike for each other. But each of them is considering the sons as separate rather than as brothers and as both of their sons.

When you marry someone with a child you become that child's adult figure. I feel really bad for both the sons. And Dad should have spoken up much sooner and he shouldn't have said "my son" he should have said "our other son.".

I'm not sure when or if he knew that she was responsible for the missing passport. I also don't know how close to the departure time they discovered it disappeared. Perhaps there was enough time for a rush passport. Sometimes you only need 24 hours.

And who was responsible for these passports? Mom, Dad or the kids,? Parents should be in charge of their child's passport until the child reaches 18 and even perhaps beyond that. And they should keep the passports in a secure space whether it be a lock box/safe at home or bank security box.

Because of this incident they may not ever be able to mend the breach between Mom and Dad, mom and her new son, dad and his new son, or the two sons.

Shame.

Wow, talk about needing therapy, classic example. What a sad time we all live in.

Hm. I wonder if the step son was made to feel a part of the family if he’d change his behavior.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say you just ended your marriage.

Wow… you’re a D**K. Lol. Only someone as ignorant as you would do this and blame others. I would have frozen your account while you’re down there while I’m home relaxing without you. Hope that helps :)

You must be the one who must help kids go along ... It's hard or impossible doesn't matter ... Keep trying ... You are the one who marry a man with child ... So why should you live in a fairy tale ? You are responsible for that child ...

Or find someone without kids

NO YOUR A B**CH AND YOU AND YOU'RE ENTITLED SON MESSED UP! HE SHOULD DIVORCE YOU AND MOVE ON!
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF AS WELL AS YOUR SNOTTY KID?!!

you ruined it, not your Husband. you did a completely dishonest thing. you should be ashamed of yourself as a mother. Divorce is in your future.

Did you ever think YOU are the reason the 13yo acts out. Sounds like you show favoritism to your son. A 13yo doesn't know any better, but you're an adult. You've just created a greater divide by your actions here. Then you have the audacity to play victim. SMH

I'm sure she would be fine with her husband doing this to HER son...what an awful person. Actions speak louder than words and if she will do this imagine what else she does....this kind of favoritism it's no wonder the boys don't get along

The only one who ruined your happy family function was yourself.

Wow. Sounds like OP should stay at Disney with the rest of the evil stepmothers.

From the reading it sounds like the 13 year old thought he was going until the passport was hidden. Imagine how he felt. This is despicable behavior for a Mother. Imagine the bonding that could have happened between the brothers, and the 4 of you - you destroyed that and perhaps future relationships with your step-son. When you go on vacation all the real life stuff is gone and you just get to focus on each other. That is your son's brother no matter what - I don't think I could stay with you after this - appalling.

Yeah what you did was despicable like how would you like it if someone excluded your son? You need to get help as to why you're jealous of your stepson and you and your husband probably need therapy to come back from this! Trust is broken at this point.

Wow. Just wow! You knew the stepson was part of the package. No parent should be made to choose one of their children over the other. The fact that she did this to her husband shows she is self centered and truly does not care about others. A mother usually loves all her children, but not this "woman".

You are a terrible person my brother is my half brother and the both of us would do the exact same things to each other that your stepson is doing to your so because we’re all siblings that is what kids do but the problem I have with you is you lied to your stepson and both he and his father know it to. you destroyed the trust with your husband so if you do want to salvage your marriage then you need to admit your wrong and apologize and your stepson probably knows you already don’t like him and don’t see him as family and is make a rift between the brothers you are an idiot.

What 10 and 13 year old siblings actually get along at these ages? You may not view your stepson as family, but he is your son's brother and your husband's son. You are ruining some crucial life lessons, like problem solving and how to navigate family dynamics. You're teaching entitlement and ruining a great future relationship between siblings.

DIVORCE is the answer if you don't like his child. JEALOUSY .

What cruel and disgusting behavior. Evil. Definitely doesn’t care about her family but herself and I’d be divorcing her and making sure to protect my children from her.

I just want to take a few moments to share my opinion regarding parents who treat step children as just that!! When you sign up to be involved in a child's life you take that child in and embrace them!! So what if they pick on each other its still making memories and bonding!!! I HATE no i despise parents who leave out any child during a FAMILY event!!!! How could you even live with yourself in doing so!!! A child is a precious gift that can be taken away at any given chance!!! Shame on you for leaving your step son behind and robbing him of family fun and family photos and the chance to make those memories

My older brother and I were three years apart and he tormented and teased me and made my life miserable on an almost daily basis. But our parents treated us both the same.

Dad got s girlfriend with kids our ages. She treated her kids like gold and eventually brother and I just faded into the background. I moved permanently in with my mom, but brother stay with dad due to distance to uni.

One day, he up and disappeared across the country and cut off the entire family.

He and I reconnected after 5 or so years and only spoke occasionally on the phone.

He asked me to come out to be with him when he was in hospice and had only weeks to live ss I was his only person who could settle his estate.

We had long talks, and I finally asked why he had left so abruptly. He simply said "Dad's girlfriend alienated me snd Dad to the point she interrupted every conversation he and I tried, would insert herself onto "our" outings, and Dad allowed it. The other kids were off limits and went on all the trips that were conveniently booked for when I couldn't go. I had to leave for my own sanity and find myself".

In the very end, he would not even allow my Dad to say goodbye to him before he passed away.

Don't be that b**** that breaks up a family. Its called a family, not husband wife co-created child, and that other kid from another Mother, ffs!

You've watched Mean Girls either too much and missed the message, just don't care.

If you tried harder, they might actually become best friends as they grow older and support each other and help each other decide which home to put you in when the time comes 😈.

The dad should take the 13 on a Disney trip and a zoo trip and leave you and your son at home.

Both of you are childish, you for hiding the passport and not being honest and your husband for leaving his other son's birthday trip, he should stayed and dealt with this later in therapy cause clearly y'all have unresolved issues

The fact that you not only did this but than are on the internet looking for validation and still haven’t realized how bad your behavior was and continues to be just says how terrible of a person you are. Straight up terrible.Shame on you!!

That's unbelievably dishonest and cruel what you did and I don't blame the dad at all. You should have spoken to him before the trip. You ruined it, not him.

You guys are seriously believing that when the 13 year olds bio mother goes on vacation that she takes the 10 year old as well? We don't have enough info from Jodies letter to know the family dynamics but for all we know, 13 year old and his mom might travel together all the time, especially for his birthday. If the child is not living full time with dad (unlikely) then it shouldn't always be assumed that he will go on every vacation. Especially if 10 year old is excluded from the other side.

You've probably made the situation between your stepson and your son worse, and I'm sure it didn't help your marriage one bit. Instead of trying to get help from the internet, please consider getting help from a licensed family counselor.

Jodie, I'll bet YOU are the reason the two boys don't get along.....or that your stepson may be bullying your son. He's probably crying out for attention You CLEARLY play favorites., AND is that how you think you should deal with siblings who have issues with each other? Is that how you deal with a child who is bullying?, by bullying the child right back??? You punish by discluding one from a FAMILY VACATION??? what's next? Discluding him from the family dinner table? YOU are a bully. And you expect a 13 year old not to, (who probably is already going through a tough time emotionally. You most likely favor your precious angel constantly in front of your stepson, causing resentment. Also, how perfect were YOU at 13?? Were you discluded from the family for having issues?.....
You are AWFUL 😖 I hope your husband leaves you, for his children's sake, if not your stepson will grow up with all sorts of mental health PROBLEMS. Your son will be a self centered brat forever., because of your example. SHAME on you

Jodi I feel for you. I don't think your decision was terrible or wrong. I realize my opinion is quite different but I sense desperation in your action. Stepson may be a bully? Other issues may exist? Sounds like your husband is blinded by denial or his feelings about his first born? Neither son is better but instead different. I find your stepsons behavior hostile and totally unacceptable. Your husband needs to wake up and start addressing his behavior and not enabling him. 13 turns into 15 quickly then 17. Seems like husband loves stepson more. I am curious about legal custody standing. Get your finances in order. Prepare for separation. Definitely consider divorce. Husband already told you his stepson is more important than you. But I bet his next wife won't agree. He married you but abandoned you once out of town. Getting a return flight was a big red flag. You were not wrong but completely justified in your feelings. Next time just say no. Husband doesn't value or love you properly. Sorry this marriage is over. Not speaking to you is emotional abuse. Silent treatment is childish. Stop cooking and cleaning. Don't pick up dry cleaning or run errands for husband. Separate everything you can immediately. Get separate bank account for you. Deposit funds into company match 401k if possible. Get post office box for some mail. Turn in car or sell if financing and lease instead. Consider changing jobs. Consult lawyer soon and prepare separation paperwork if necessary. Find less expensive place to live with son just in case. Prepare for a custody fight. Hopefully husband will soon verbally apologize to you. Stay strong and finalize an exit plan. Praying for your family.

WOW TERRIBLE.!! I bet if the “stepson” was jodies real kid she wouldn’t have done this. U want a family trip without including the other son ?!? WOW she resents that kid an his father son relationship.!!!! Toxic women.

Even if the other son picks on your son a lot, there are better ways to handle it with his dad. Doing this will only push you and your husband apart. and it won’t solve the bullying at all.

There 10 and 13 I would be worried if they didn't annoy each other what u did was wrong you took a moment away from a kid that he would have remembered the rest of he's life now he will only remember the deceit you have done that could have been a bonding moment for them if I was your husband I would take them on a trip without u maybe camping and fishing what u did will take years of work to forgive from your stepson and when the rest of the family find out the wrath you will have to deal with will be massive you don't punish kids because you dont know how to be a parent and pull there heads in when they are out of line

When you use sneaky trickery you are absolutely wrong . You knew when you got married he had a son , nothing changes just because you have a child together you still have a step son , I dont blame your husband for going home as you made him feel like you dont want his son around. You were wrong in doing what you did ..All siblings tease each other
I have step brother and he teased me growing up just like my brothers did

You’re now the evil step-mother in the Cinderella story…your action is childish, disgusting…your stepson, is your son as well. Your child’s brother, your husbands SON. Period, end of story. Your married your husband and he was part of the package deal. The only way to not be the villain at the end of this story is to come clean, admit your mistake and fault, and ask for forgiveness. Honestly I don’t think you deserve it. This could’ve been a memorable family trip for 2 brothers to enjoy and ride rollercoasters together but you’re a selfish mom who couldn’t see that

When you have to use trickery you are in the wrong. I agree your son doesn't have to share every experience with someone he doesn't like but you all could have gone and just experienced Disney separately. This behavior is disguising and your focus only on yourself is absolutely vial. The man would be doing a disservice to his son if he did not divorce you. When you married him, his son is part of your family as well. But somehow you think you could separate the two.

That was a wrong! It was a family vacation and therefore he should be included especially if he wanted to go. That’s only going to cause more resentment and problems between them. More jealousy and more thinking he can get his way. You married him and his family and so you have to treat them the same now. That probably hurt him and he knows his passport was not lost. A 13 year old would know that. Your husband has every right to be upset! Got to go and admit you’re wrong and apologize and tell him it won’t happen again. Make things right! You can do it! I know you have it in you!

Considering the childish way that you dealt with this situation, I'm hard-pressed to trust your assessment of the situation. Who's to say your child is just not a spoiled brat who knew he could get his way by manipulating you. Considering the example you set that's not a far-fetched assumption.

You're heartbroken and angry? How do you think your husband and your stepson feel? What you did is unforgivable.
I'd be expecting divorce papers if I were you.

You should beg forgiveness. You did the most unforgivable, hurtful thing to your family, causing a rift that will likely last for years. Shame on you

Not wanting to deal with the 13 year old bullying the 10 year old is understandable. Not talking it out like an adult with your husband beforehand and having a clear open communication about expectations and instead stealing and lying that was The toxic part.

Your son will sadly remember that every birthday was the reason his father divorced his mother. You are in a family and that is the most hurtful thing I can imagine you could do. What were you thinking????

I'd have divorce papers waiting for you!

She ruined it by not taking his stepson regardless if they got along or not they could of been controlled to behave, and birthday or not it was completely selfish to leave the stepson out, so you can imagine how his dad felt due to your actions is why he left, you say you was angry and hurt, well so was your husband for leaving his first kid home and not taking him with you, yet you wanted to make it a family trip, guess what it was not a family trip when you excluded his kid...

There's something wrong with you.

Not exclude your husbands son???? Just because the kids don't get along is not a reason to exclude one of them from a family trip, I never got along with my siblings and my mom told me to get over it and made sure no one was ever excluded from stuff like that. Honestly, I'm surprised you still have a husband, because if I was your husband you wouldn't.

How is her husband still married to her?!

If you cannot see the extremely wrong actions you took here by lying, hiding the passport, you are gonna lose him. Vapid dishonest and hurtful behavior — I wouldn’t speak to you either.

Just move on
You are a terrible person no matter how you want to spin this. Now your husband knows it too. No way to recover from that.

Yeah, you should have talked over your concerns with your husband, instead of doing the sneaky stuff that you did. You and your husband could have agreed to lay out ground rules to your stepson and consequences if he is mean to his brother on the trip. The way you went about this was peak evil step monster.

Be ready for the divorce. You were surprised?🤦

Maybe you should try being a parent to both of them. And if you're not allowed to discipline his son, have him do it.

I would like to say that you're selfish and you don't make a difference between kids!!! That's ridiculous kids do dumb kids stuff to each other you as a parent should know better ......