A 27-year-old woman is sharing the shocking moment she found that the child she’s been raising for the last 3 years was not hers. While she’s planning to divorce her husband upon discovering the truth, she feels torn about separating from her son. She penned us a letter with all the details and is seeking advice on what she should do next.
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Martha, 27, is devastated at the turn her life has taken and she feels lost. She’s desperately looking for answers as she feels overwhelmed and too emotionally invested to think rationally. She wrote us a letter describing the issue, “Dear Bright Side, I am writing to you to share my problem in hopes that your readers might be able to direct me to the right path. I also aim to warn other women to be careful, who might be in the same situation as me. I wouldn’t wish my luck on my worst enemies...”
She reveals that initially, her love life was picture-perfect, “I met David (30) when we were both in college. I had a crush on him ever since I saw him and to my surprise, he felt the same way. We’ve been together ever since. About 6 years ago, we mutually decided we wanted to start a family.”
When after years of trying the couple couldn't get pregnant, they sought medical advice, "We tried for years but nothing. I felt so depressed and scared. David suggested we go see a doctor, so we did.
The doctor ran some tests, and I was told I couldn't have children. My whole world came crashing down. I remember I would cry so often and at random times that at one point I thought I was going crazy."
"My husband would try to console me and divert my mind. He suggested adoption, but I wanted my own child. One day it hit me. I'm infertile, but I always wanted to be a mom, and surrogacy may be the best available option for me. I spoke to David, and he agreed at first, but later hesitated upon learning how expensive the procedure is.
We were indeed financially struggling at the time, and I wasn't able to work properly due to my failing mental health. I shared the problem with my parents and other close loved ones, including my cousin Amy. To my surprise, Amy offered to be our surrogate to cut costs, and I couldn't have been more grateful to her then," Martha adds.
Martha reveals what happened next, "After some failed IVF attempts, she finally became pregnant! 3 years ago, my husband and I had our son by surrogacy, and he was the most perfect boy! I was over the moon. We named him George and I spent all my time taking care of him.
Amy would also come over often to see George. She even babysat for him while I had to take urgent trips for work, and David suggested we call her for help. I thought nothing of his suggestion back then, but maybe I should have."
A few days back, George fell sick and was due for some tests at the hospital. Martha took her son to the doctor and the blood report left her baffled. “Recently, I took our son to a doctor as he was feeling sick. They ran some blood work and I found out I’m not his biological mom. I thought it was an error and told my husband we should sue the fertility clinic, but to my horror, my husband confessed that it was not their fault.
He admitted that he got close to my cousin around the time we were going through the IVF process and slept with her a couple of times. I felt so enraged and betrayed, that I can’t put my disappointment into words. The son I’ve loved more than my life is not even mine but a result of my husband’s affair with my cousin...I immediately asked David to leave the house! I couldn’t bear to even look at him!”
"I'm already talking to my lawyer regarding a divorce, and I told my family about the issue. They are supportive of me and are saying they'll agree with whatever I choose to do. David keeps trying to contact me, but I don't want to give him another chance after all that happened. Amy bawled her eyes out and cried to me asking for forgiveness, but I don't think I can ever forgive her.
As for George, I am torn. I do love him still, but I have to admit that every time I look at him, I'm reminded of my husband's affair, and it makes me sick. What should I do?" Martha writes seeking advice.
Thank you for writing to us, Martha! We are sorry that you had to go through such a terrible and difficult situation. In such a troubled time, it is important to surround yourself with people who love you and remember time will heal your wounds. Here are some steps you might consider taking:
Seek Emotional Support: It’s crucial to have a support system. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can help process the emotions and provide a safe space to express feelings.
Legal Advice: Consulting with a family lawyer can help you understand the rights and options regarding custody of George and any potential legal actions against the fertility clinic or the individuals involved.
Couples Counseling: If you wish to explore the possibility of repairing the relationship, couples counseling can provide a structured environment to address the issues and work through the betrayal.
Self-Care: Taking time for self-care is essential. Engaging in activities that bring joy and relaxation can help manage stress and emotional pain.
Consider Future Steps: Reflecting on what you want for the future, whether it’s co-parenting, or moving on independently, is important. Making a plan can provide a sense of direction and control.
Support Groups: Joining support groups for individuals who have experienced similar situations can provide a sense of community and understanding.
This is a deeply personal journey, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate it. It’s important to prioritize your well-being and make decisions that align with your values and needs.
Another woman shared her tragic story and what led her to divorce her husband. Read it here.
