I Got Engaged—and That’s When My Best Friend Betrayed Me

4 hours ago

Loyalty isn’t always a two-way street. If you show up for someone over and over again, you’d think they’d do the same when you needed them most. But sometimes, people you trust the most are the ones who can hurt you the fastest.

Here’s what one of our readers shared about her friend:

One of my friends, let’s call her Kim (for privacy reasons), and I had been buddies for years. We met in college and stayed close through a lot of stuff, like breakups, job changes, family dramas, you name it. But over time, she became weird. Kim’s calls were no longer friendly check-ins. They became therapy sessions, with me literally being her glorified, unpaid therapist.

She always vented about her life and even called me at midnight. I mean, that’s too much, right? There were nights I’d be jolted awake by the sound of my phone ringing, only to listen to her rant about her boss, her ex, or her loneliness until 2 a.m. It was so draining, so I pulled back. I didn’t even realize it at first. I just started replying slower so I could have some time for myself. I mean, I didn’t cut her off entirely, but I needed to breathe.

Still, a part of me hoped we’d find our way back. So when I got engaged, I asked her to be my maid of honor, hoping it could be our chance. I really wanted her beside me; it wasn’t a pity offering. I thought this could be a nice chance to celebrate something joyful together. I even imagined us laughing through dress fittings, sipping wine while planning the bachelorette, you know, the girly stuff.

But to my shock, she laughed and said, “Must be nice while I suffer!” Are you kidding me? That sentence hurt so much. There was no excitement, no “congrats”, nothing. Just plain bitterness. Obviously, I walked away. I didn’t yell. I didn’t argue. I didn’t confront her because I wondered if I was wrong to share this while her life was apparently falling apart. Not to mention the guilt kept me up at night. Was I selfish? Had I ignored her pain in my happiness?

But here’s where things took an even weirder turn.

Well, I had no idea what she was truly capable of. Later, my fiancé said his mom had suddenly started receiving messages from Kim, saying that I had a pattern with men and wasn’t the right choice for him. She went behind my back, to his mother, no less, with lies clearly meant to ruin my engagement. I. Was. Shocked. How could she spread lies like that? If you ask me, this wasn’t just jealousy. It was a betrayal. I understand she couldn’t find it in herself to be happy for me, but to go this far? I wouldn’t do this to an enemy, let alone someone I used to be comfortable enough to call at 2 am.

What should I do? I’m so upset and so angry. All I want to do is cut her off completely. But at the same time, I’m worried I should be a better friend to someone who’s clearly suffering but doesn’t know how to react.

It’s all about perspective.

Thank you, dear reader, for sharing your story with us. Friendships like these, you just feel like you’re giving and giving, to no end, are not that uncommon. And you’re not alone. Here’s what you should take from this experience:

Boundaries don’t make you a bad friend. Your friend was using you as an emotional support blanket, often without your permission. This isn’t a sign of closeness; it’s taking advantage.
Jealousy in friendships is so common. Sometimes, people project their pain onto the ones closest to them. Without knowing or without having bad intentions, no less. But just because it happens all the time doesn’t make it okay.
Guilt can give you mixed feelings. You thought you were being kind by pulling back quietly instead of confronting her. In reality, you let guilt keep you silent when you should have stood up for yourself.
Your peace is more important than the number of your friends. If someone is trying to sabotage your happiness, they don’t deserve a seat at your celebration, no matter how long they’ve been in your life. On a day as important as your wedding day, you deserve to be surrounded only by the ones you feel most comfortable with.