I Got Pregnant on My Daughter's Behalf, Now My Life Is a Hell

Having kids is usually a big decision that parents make after lots of thinking and planning. It’s not an easy road, so some people who feel it’s not for them just choose not to have kids. They might feel confident living child-free, but not everyone gets it or respects that choice.

For example, some people—especially older generations—struggle to understand why anyone wouldn’t want kids. Take Andrea, 43, for instance. She was so focused on becoming a grandparent or keeping her family line going that she ended up having a kid instead of her daughter. She shared her complicated story with us in a letter and asked for advice on her tough situation.

Andrea wrote us a heartfelt letter and shared her very complicated story with us.

Andrea, 43, is our devoted reader, who decided to share her story with our editorial, seeking for advice and help in her tough situation.

The woman opened her emotional letter, saying, “I, (43 F) have a daughter, Hailey, 23. She is childfree and, to my shock, she chose to be sterilized. To me, it’s a disgrace because all women in our family neglect her and mock her. So, I decided to get pregnant on behalf of my daughter, without her consent and my plan was to involve her fiancée, Josh, in the whole process.

I couldn’t even imagine how severe the consequences of this decision would be!”

Andrea made many attempts to convince her daughter to change her mind, but all her efforts were in vain.

Andrea opened up about her struggles, saying: “My daughter was brought up in a big extended family. All her cousins have kids, and every single one of our many relatives understands how important it is for someone to have children and leave their mark on the family tree.
But Hailey? She’s the exception. It’s like she’s living in a completely different world. I’ve tried talking to her so many times about how crucial it is to continue our family history, but she just refuses to listen.

Her reasons for not wanting kids seem so absurd to me. She says she wants to focus on building a successful career, traveling the world, and pouring her energy into her hobbies instead of raising children. I kept trying to explain how plenty of moms balance both motherhood and their careers, but she would just turn away and dismiss everything I said as nonsense.”

Eventually, Andrea reached her breaking point. Frustrated and unable to change her daughter’s mind, she made a life-altering decision—one that would bring major changes to her family dynamic and deeply impact her relationship with Hailey.

Andrea took matters into her own hands and got pregnant, on behalf of her daughter.

Andrea confessed, “I was so desperate to get my daughter, who’s completely set on being childfree, to change her mind. Honestly, I was at my wit’s end. That’s when I made a pretty big decision—something bold, to say the least.

I decided to have a little chat with Hailey’s fiancé, Josh. I started planting the idea in his head, slowly steering him toward agreeing to be a sperm donor. Yup, you read that right—I was planning to use artificial insemination to get pregnant myself... with her fiancé’s baby.

In my mind, this was going to be the ultimate wedding gift for Hailey—giving her the ‘gift’ of motherhood, even if she didn’t realize it was something she wanted yet. It felt like the perfect plan: a priceless surprise that would change her life forever.”

However, as time went on, things took a turn for the worse. What Andrea thought would bring resolution and purpose instead led to unexpected challenges and strained relationships, leaving her questioning her decision. The woman wrote, “Now, I feel desperate, and I feel like I have a huge problem with how I am left carrying the weight for my obstinate and selfish daughter.”

Andrea now finds herself filled with disappointment, as none of the goals she hoped to achieve through her decision have been realized.

Andrea confessed that she now feels completely let down. The goals she had in mind when making her bold decision haven’t panned out, leaving her overwhelmed by regret and a lingering sense of emptiness. Andrea shared her frustrations, saying, “Now, I’m stuck raising a baby, who, in my mind, should have been born to my daughter, Hailey. But that’s impossible because she’s too selfish to have kids. The baby girl, who is technically her sibling, could have been her own child—but it doesn’t stir any emotion in Hailey’s indifferent soul.
I really thought Hailey would get swept up in the joys of motherhood once the baby was here, you know? Like, as soon as she held her little ‘sister’ in her arms, she’d melt, and everything would magically fall into place. But...yeah, that didn’t happen.”

“Fast-forward a bit—Hailey got married to Josh two months ago. On their wedding day, I had this wild idea to come clean about everything, to just stand up and announce the big, dramatic truth. Like, ‘Hey everyone! Surprise! Hailey’s ‘little sister’ is actually her daughter! Isn’t that amazing?!’ But when the moment came, my anxiety hit like a freight train. I couldn’t do it. The words just wouldn’t come out.

And honestly? Things with Hailey have been so tense since the baby was born. Our relationship feels...distant. It’s like she doesn’t love her ‘sister’ at all—she doesn’t care about her arrival, doesn’t even try to bond. Watching it play out has been heartbreaking.
Then there’s me and Hailey. We’re constantly clashing, arguing about everything under the sun. The tension is just too much, and deep down, I’ve realized something hard to swallow—I don’t think I’ll ever find the strength to tell her the truth.”

Andrea poured out her conflicted feelings, admitting, “I feel like I’ve been deceived and betrayed, even though I love my little girl with all my heart. And I love Hailey, and I’m afraid of losing her when she accidentally finds out what I did.
But what breaks my heart is realizing that my daughter just isn’t cut out to be a mom. That thought is eating away at me. I’d be so grateful for any advice on how to get her more involved in raising the little girl. What can I do? Is there still hope for me?”

And here are 10 celebs who chose to be childfree, and their stories are full of mind-stirring confessions.