I Kicked Out My Stepdaughter After She Refused to Babysit

He has a 20 yr. old daughter a grandson & 8 month old child hmm someone wanted him trapped.

S Tate

Did you have a conversation with her dad first or just make this decision on your own? Maybe She and her father had an agreement that you were not involved in. If he pays the bills then it wouldn't necessarily be your concern. If you help pay bills then maybe you and he need to have a different conversation. Either way you were the AH for just packing their things and expecting them to leave with no notice.

Brenda Vance

I wonder who's home it was to begin with? To Christina Martinez comment about the adult daughter living rent free. If that is daddy's home and maybe even mortgage free, not every commingling family pays steady scheduled rent to the family member whom owns a home. I've had many family members move in occasionally with me for a number of reasons and every time I wish they would stay. They are here for temporary financial hardships and help me in ways other than monitaraly. This woman was off her rocker in every single move she made in this story when it came to the daughter. The couples 2 year old does not mean less than the daughter. To walk off with the 2 year old at that moment would have created a problem that would have made it difficult to help the daughter and grandson in that moment. I sure hope dad's next steps will be figuring out the logistics of his custody of their shared son however because who would want to go back to living with that selfish cow, right?

Shaena Spencer

No no no he does NOT prefer his daughter to his son!! YOU expect her to work from home and take care of TWO babies?? Are you out of your mind? She is not your nanny or even a go to!! You suck and I'm so happy finally a father who stands up for his children over a poa.(Piece of ass)...

Christina Jackson

You were wrong to make such a big decision by yourself. That's the simple part.

Amy

YTA!! She is working.. I work from home and I couldn't watch 2kids. I bet its hard for her to watch her son and work never mind yours. Your child is not her responsibility. You should have had a conversation with your husband instead of backing her bags. I don't blame his response. If my husband kicked my daughter out I would be leaving with her. You were throwing an adult temper tantrum and can't deal with the consequences.

Kimberly Regner

Let me get this straight. Your stepdaughter works from home while taking care of her 8 month old and you expect her to babysit a two year olds who probably doesn't know how to stay still. How is she supposed to work, take care of her baby, and run after a two year old at the same time? No wonder your husband walked out on you. Now YOU can run after a two year old while working at the same time. He's YOUR responsibility NOT stepdaughter. That's the problem with parents and stepparents. They seem to think they have a built in babysitter in the older children.

It doesn't matter if it was too much, it was very abrupt though. So you now know that his daughter and grandchild are more important to your husband than you and your (his) child. I don't think that you should have packed her stuff up and said she had to go, WITHOUT talking to your husband but I promise that he is going to like it a lot less when he is paying child support for your own son and also supporting his adult child and grandchild. I certainly hope you can work it out, for the sake of the UNDERAGE children, but you chose to marry a man who already had a child and then you had one with him too, so I am not sure what you really expected.

Heather Dever

You are agreeing with a person that wanted an 8 month old baby to be homeless. Maybe that is why the husband left his wife. You can leave your spouse, that isn't the same as abandoning your children. That woman made a choice and here you are disparaging the good parent and enabling the bad one.

Heather Dever

Did you actually READ my response? I said that she shouldn't have done it. I also said that SHE MADE THE CHOICE to marry a man with a child already, and then HAVE A CHILD WITH HIM. NOWHERE did I say that she should have kicked out her stepdaughter. I said that her husband made his choice. Don't come for me because you didn't read or understand what I was saying.

Christine Martinez

Why is she living for free she's an adult.? Pays no rent ? Contributes nothing. Why is she freeloading. L

Christine Martinez

Because, like it, or not, her DADDY LET HER! It's obvious that NO ONE in that house TALKS to each other, or this situation probably would not have happened.

Raindrop Cloud

Heather Dever

What she did was wrong he was also wrong just saying he also has responsibilities to his TODDLER just saying both were wrong

Thank you for trusting us with your story, Sharon.

What you’re going through is heavy and painful — this isn’t just about babysitting, but about loyalty, fairness, and respect inside your family.
Here is our advice to you:

Separate “free rent” from “free labor”.

Phyllis Popp

Watching a 2 y.o. is a full time job in itself. Not realistic to expect stepdaughter to watch your toddler. Why is she living rent free? She chose to have a baby; where is the dad? How long does she expect to live free with you and her dad? Did anyone discuss this before she moved in? You shouldn't have just kicked her out; a calm discussion should have happened; what are everyone's expectations and how long will it take her to be able to stand on her own two feet.

Your main argument was that because she lives rent-free, she should babysit your son. But housing and childcare aren’t automatically interchangeable.

Action: If what you want is financial contribution, propose a fair rent arrangement or shared expenses instead of childcare duties. This way, the issue is about money, not about forcing her into a “nanny” role she doesn’t want.

Make your husband face the double standard.

Your husband defended his daughter fiercely, but he overlooked how his actions affect your toddler too.

Action: Point out that by moving out, he’s choosing to leave your 2-year-old without a father figure in the home. Ask him to explain how his loyalty to one child justifies hurting another. This forces him to reflect on whether his choice is truly protective or just reactive.

Recognize the role of motherhood in her refusal.

Your stepdaughter isn’t just a tenant — she’s a new single mom with an 8-month-old baby. Caring for her own child may already feel overwhelming, so your request may have sounded like piling on more responsibility.

Action: Instead of framing the issue as her “owing” you, try acknowledging that she’s also struggling. Offer to swap support at times — for example, you could take her baby for an afternoon occasionally, and she could help you with something else in return.

Rebuild your role with your husband.

Erum Aamir

Sorry to say but this is mean of u. If I understand correctly, this is her father's house too... where she lives with her baby. If the father is happily contributing to support your son, what's wrong with him supporting his other kid?

Right now, you feel sidelined — as if your marriage takes second place to his daughter. That imbalance can poison everything.

Action: Tell your husband plainly that your partnership can’t survive if he keeps making unilateral choices. Suggest couples counseling or mediation not to “defend sides,” but to rebuild trust and reestablish that both of you must be equally respected in family decisions.

Gemma is dealing with a completely different kind of challenge. As a vegan, she decided to celebrate her birthday at a meat-free restaurant. However, this choice led to conflict when her friends refused to pay for their meals.

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Existing

How does she owe you exactly? What you have to remember is that this is HIS daughter you're talking about, and when you married him she became yours to. Would you kick your son out if he had a small child, and was alone in the world? You're husband did the right thing, and he clearly loves his son to if he was that sad to leave him. If it was me, I would have divorced you the moment you forced her to get out of the house for not wanting to do more work on top of an 8 month old.

Denise Wellington

Your stepdaughter is not your nanny!

Mary Effler

YTA. I bet it's hard for SD to work & watch 1 kid let alone run after a toddler. OP shouldn't have kicked SD & the baby out. FAFO

Maryann Lima

Oldest child is more important than his toddler. Now you know that. So let him stay gone, get your child support and let him keep paying the rent for his adult child as well. The courts will not look flavorably on him for abandoning his 2-year-old so that he could go live with his grown up daughter and pay her bills.

DO Mum