We all wish to have an honest marriage with transparency between partners. However, Lorraine felt compelled to lie in her marriage. She didn’t tell her husband how much she was earning because she wanted to save half of her money for her daughter’s future. When her husband found out, he did something that shocked both Lorraine and her daughter. She wrote to us seeking advice.
DIVORCE! Why it wasn't obvious the moment you felt the need to hide your promotion, and desire to save for your daughter's education idk. But it's glaringly obvious now!
This is clearly not an equal, loving, supportive relationship. Why would you want to remain in it?
Lorraine, thanks for sharing your story. We prepared some tips that we hope can be helpful to you.
She should've divorced him the moment she realized she had to keep it a secret to avoid him flipping out.
Arrange a meeting with your husband and a professional mediator to discuss the situation calmly. Explain your reasons for keeping the extra earnings a secret and express your concerns for your daughter’s future. Emphasize the need for a united front in dealing with family issues. This can help in resolving misunderstandings and finding a way forward together.
Create a detailed financial plan that outlines how you intend to manage household expenses and save for your daughter’s college. Propose a way to compensate your husband fairly for the rent he has covered without compromising your daughter’s education fund.
This plan should include your current and future earnings, savings, and expenses, showing transparency and a willingness to cooperate financially.
Consult a family lawyer to understand your rights and responsibilities. Given your husband’s drastic actions, it’s crucial to know how to protect your daughter’s interests and ensure she has what she needs. A lawyer can also guide you on how to handle the financial dispute and any potential implications for your marriage.
Engage in family counseling sessions with your husband and daughter to address the emotional impact of this situation. A professional therapist can help you all process your feelings, improve communication, and rebuild trust. This can be particularly beneficial for your daughter, who may feel caught in the middle and needs reassurance and support from both you and her stepfather.
Lindsay is another mother experiencing tension with her husband over a financial issue. She wanted to buy her daughter a $2000 graduation gift, but her husband refused, insisting that the girl’s biological father should cover the expense. Feeling lost and helpless, Lindsay reached out to us for advice.
Although I can't agree with the way he handled it, I don't agree with the way you did either. You're supposed to be married, a couple, but you deliberately held back your promotion news so that you could keep money for YOUR child. Someone he obviously thought of as part his. Did you not trust him to put aside some of your joint monies for her future?
