I Refuse to Change the Date of My Wedding Because of My Brother and Even My Mom Is Against Me

Family & kids
3 weeks ago

In today’s story, the protagonist finds herself at the center of a family conflict just as she prepares for one of the most important days of her life. Determined to hold her wedding on the date she and her partner have chosen, she faces mounting pressure from her family—particularly from her brother, whose unexpected request threatens to overshadow her plans.

She explained what happened.

So, I (28F) am getting married in two months. My fiancé (29M) and I have been planning this wedding for over a year. We picked the venue and sent out save-the-dates last year, and everyone has known about the date for ages. Like, we’re all in.

The venue is booked, caterers, flowers, photographer... everything is set, and deposits have been paid. At this point, we're just counting down the days, excited to get married and celebrate with everyone.

Enter my younger brother (25M). He just got into this super competitive internship program that he’s been wanting for a while, and he’s over the moon about it. I’m genuinely happy for him because I know this is a big deal for his career. The problem was that he found out the start date was the same week as my wedding, and he told me he couldn’t come anymore.

I think, I can never earn over which I paid by my precedent employer, but I was wrong, world is so large to try their fate. but now I am making $52/h even more,and easily earn minimum $1300/week, on the experience everyone must try to do work online, easy way to earn, here's an example.
𝐰𝐰𝐰.Richnow05

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Obviously, I was disappointed, but I assumed he'd be a little bummed too and we'd move on. Instead, he asked me if I'd change the wedding date. At first, I thought he was joking, but nope—dead serious. He’s all, "This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and I really don’t want to miss your wedding, but I can’t be in two places at once."

I told him there was no way I’m changing the date. We’re two months out. Everything is booked, invites have been sent, guests have RSVP’d, and people have already planned time off and booked hotels. Not to mention, moving a wedding isn’t as simple as just picking another day, especially at this point. There's a whole cascade of other stuff I'd have to move, and that’s IF the venue even has another open date anytime soon.

He got annoyed and basically said, “So you care more about a party than your brother’s future?” Which really pissed me off. Like, come on. It’s not like I didn’t give everyone—including him—a huge heads-up about this date. He’s known for over a year.

I get that the internship is important, but it’s not like he couldn’t have communicated with them and tried to work something out, right?

Now, my mom is all over me about it, saying that I’ll regret not having him there and that I’m being selfish by not even considering changing the date. She’s implying that family is more important than one day, but I feel like...this is the one day that’s actually about me and my fiancé, and I don’t think it’s fair to be expected to turn my life upside down to accommodate his work. My dad is staying out of it (classic) but I can tell he thinks I’m being a bit unreasonable too.

Fiancé is backing me up, but I can tell he feels weird about the whole thing. He’s a big family guy and doesn’t want any drama, but he also knows how much we’ve already put into this wedding.

I don’t want to sound like I don’t care about my brother, because I do. I love him, and I hate that he won’t be there, but at the same time, I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask someone to change their wedding date this close. It’s not like we’re talking about a birthday party or something. This is a whole wedding.

People stood on her side.

  • "You can't move mountains for him. You can't mess with everyone else who saved the date. There's no argument here. The date is the date." Laiko_Kairen / Reddit
  • "I hate when people are like this. They expect everyone to move heaven and earth when they say so, with no regard to anyone else or even reality. And if “family” is so important, what about the groom’s family?
    After all, they will be OP’s family too because OP’s not marrying herself, and I’m quite certain they wouldn’t be happy with that. What about OP’s extended family who are traveling? Are they not important?
    My brother missed my wedding because he had a job interview for a higher-paying position within the company he works for. I would’ve been angry if he missed the interview for my wedding." calenka89 / Reddit
  • "Your brother and your family's opinions are absurd." calacmack / Reddit
  • "He's 25 but acting like he's 13. The fact that your mother, who should know better, is on you about it, combined with his attitude, tells me he's the golden child.
    Tell mom if SHE really cared about family, she would liquidate her savings to rebook the venue, the vendors, and the travel and accommodations of all the guests to make sure your brother can come, along with apology letters to all those who took vacation days for nothing." Cute-Profession9983 / Reddit
  • "There are two solutions: he asks for the day because I am pretty sure they would allow it. OR he attends via Zoom. There is no other option other than he misses the wedding, and that will be on him, not you." Vegetable_Movie_7190 / Reddit
  • "Your wedding is not just a “party,” it's a significant event that takes months of planning and preparation. Your brother had over a year to figure out his schedule and unfortunately, it didn't align with your wedding date.
    It's understandable that he's upset, but asking you to change the date two months before is not reasonable. He should have communicated with his internship and tried to work out a solution. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for sticking to your original plans." GothicChica / Reddit

Though the family tension remains unresolved, she realizes that her wedding day is a celebration of her partnership, not an event to be dictated by others. By choosing to prioritize her own happiness, she sets a boundary that, while difficult, reflects her growth and determination to live life on her own terms.

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