Grief has a way of changing the air around us, and sometimes the hardest part isn’t the loss itself; it’s the people who make that loss even heavier. In moments like these, empathy feels rare, and the smallest cruelty can cut the deepest. This story is a reminder of how painful it is when the people around you choose hardships instead of kindness.
If your company offers short term disability you might benefit from bereavement leave. Consider a grief counselor or group. Your co-workers are not there to be your friends. They are there to do a job and collect a paycheck. Hopefully you have supportive friends.
Hi, Bright Side,
My name is Laura, I’m 34, and I just lost both of my parents: my entire safety net, my whole sense of home, gone only days apart. I’ve been trying to function at work, but I’m barely holding myself together.
What made everything worse was how some coworkers treated me. Instead of showing even basic empathy, they hit me with comments like, “Well... without a partner or kids, who’s even there for you?”
They said it like it was a joke. Like my grief was something to mock. It felt cruel and deeply personal. I tried to ignore them, but it kept happening, and each comment felt like another punch to the chest.
I finally went to HR and told them what was going on. I warned the group to stop because I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought that would calm everything down.
But the next morning, I walked into the office and felt genuine fear. My desk was covered in little sticky notes, things like “Try therapy,” “Be stronger,” and “Everyone has problems.” Someone even left a fake sympathy card with a smiley face drawn inside.
I felt sick. I felt unsafe. I felt completely alone.
I don’t know what to do now. I’m grieving, but I’m also scared to go back to work. I feel humiliated, like my pain became office entertainment. I just want some guidance.
How do I protect myself when people act like my grief is an inconvenience?
— Laura
Laura, thank you for writing in and trusting us with something so personal. What you’re going through is incredibly hard, and the way your coworkers treated you is simply unacceptable. Let’s take a moment and walk through this together.
Without a partner or kids, who is there for you?" Honestly, that is a valid question. They were probably trying to figure out if you have any actual responsibilities keeping you from doing your job. If you are "barely holding yourself together," you are a liability to the team. Instead of being offended, you should have been reassured that they noticed you have plenty of free time to focus on your recovery
You felt "genuine fear" over sticky notes? It is paper and adhesive, Laura. "Try therapy" and "Be stronger" are actually excellent pieces of advice that you are currently paying me nothing to receive. They aren't mocking you; they are giving you a roadmap to becoming a functioning member of society again. Stop acting like post-it notes are a hate crime.
Your pain became "office entertainment" because you made it a spectacle. If you had just put your head down and done your filing, nobody would have had anything to say. You brought your grief into the breakroom, and now you are upset that people are reacting to it. If you don't want people to comment on your life, stop making your life their problem.
Laura, you’re not alone, even if it feels that way right now. You deserve dignity, kindness, and empathy, especially in moments like this. And anyone who doesn’t understand that is showing their own lack of humanity, not your lack of strength.
How do you protect yourself? You stop being a victim. You walk in there, you throw those sticky notes in the trash, and you do your work with a straight face. Grief is an inconvenience to a business, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you will stop feeling "unsafe" and start feeling employed. Nobody likes a coworker who is a constant dark cloud.
