I Refuse to Let My DIL Name Her Baby—She’s Being Unreasonable

When my daughter-in-law said she had a “special name” picked out for the baby, I expected something sweet or maybe a little unusual. I did not expect her to drop the worst name right in front of my son. And, when I confronted her, she suggested something even worse...

Hi Bright Side readers!

Let me explain. My son married a wonderful girl two years ago. She’s kind, smart, and she’s been through a lot.

Before she met my son, she was married to someone else. Her first husband, James, passed away in an accident. It was tragic, and I have real sympathy for what she went through. I really do.

But I also believe in drawing a line between the past and the future, especially when it comes to something as emotional and permanent as naming a baby.

We were having a quiet family dinner. My son, my daughter-in-law, and I were just chatting about the baby, she’s five months along. She told us with a smile, “If it’s a boy, I want to name him James.” I almost spat out my food.

My son looked like he’d just been hit with a brick. He didn’t say a word. Just stared and looked stunned.

I could tell he wasn’t on board with it, but he also didn’t want to upset her. I didn’t care about it in the moment and gave it to her straight, “That’s not acceptable.”

My DIL didn’t take it well.

She looked super hurt. I get that she probably meant it as a tribute, but to me, it felt totally inappropriate. This baby is my son’s child. Not her late husband’s. Naming the baby after another man, her “first love,” felt like dragging an old relationship into a brand-new family.

But it got worse. She paused, then said, “What if we name him Jamie instead? It’s more casual, but still feels meaningful to me.” Um. What?? Jamie? That’s just James with a friendly twist.

Same core, same issue. It still honors a man who is not the father of this child. I didn’t want to be rude, but I couldn’t pretend to be okay with it. I said that’s just a nickname for James. It’s still the same problem, and I won’t allow it.

She got real quiet after that. Dinner ended early. My son didn’t say anything throughout this whole time.

My son called me later and got angry.

The next day, my son told me that Lily (my DIL) had been crying all night because of what I said. I don’t understand what I said that was so wrong? Who wants to name their baby after an ex? Only the people who haven’t moved on, and I am going to stand by it.

He asked me to apologize to her and accept baby “James” but I refused. I think my son is being too emotional and being swayed by his pregnant wife. What would you do if you were in my place?

Read our next letter from a daughter turning away from her sick mother, who asked her for help. Here’s her story: I Refuse to Help My Sick Mom—Even If She Calls Me Heartless.