I (19F) grew up the “responsible daughter” in a family of five. My older brother dropped out and moved back home. My younger sister’s still in middle school. I got into a good college out of state with a partial scholarship. It wasn’t free, but it was manageable. I was excited to finally have something of my own.
My dad wasn’t.
He kept saying, “You should just go to community college and work part-time. We need you here. Your mom’s tired. The house needs cleaning. Your sister looks up to you.” It started subtly, but turned into guilt. Constant reminders of how “selfish” I was being by leaving.
The worst part? He said, “If you go, don’t expect this to be your home anymore.”
He meant it.
I cried when I packed. Not because I doubted my decision, but because I was being emotionally disowned for wanting more. For not becoming the family’s second mother.
Now I’m living with a roommate I met two weeks ago who cheers louder for me than my dad ever did. And somehow, that feels more like home than the house I grew up in.
We all belong in the family and support the family. We all help out. I'm sorry your brother isn't doing his fair share. Your mom may be silently cheering you on. Talk to her. She may have words of wisdom for you. It's hard to make some decisions when you want to spread your wings. Listen to your mom.
Text dad one last time that you won't be the family ATM or the retirement plan. And then block them.
Oh yeah, don't give your new address to your families. They might come and messed with your new life.
Sometimes it’s your own family that disappoints you the most. Like this woman who dedicated her life to saving others but when her own family needed her, their response left her questioning everything.
