I Refuse to Stay Married After My In-Laws Humiliated Me at a Family Gathering

When you get married, you’re not just saying “yes” to your spouse—you’re often signing up for their entire family dynamic, for better or worse. One Redditor, posting under the username hArrietsmellss, opened up about how her tough relationship with her in-laws slowly led to a public humiliation she didn’t deserve.

Even while working three demanding jobs to keep the household running, the woman found herself the target of whispered judgments and passive-aggressive remarks. One day, she experienced a cruel blow, that happened during her MIL’s birthday party. But what truly broke her, though, wasn’t just their actions—it was her husband’s reaction. Keep reading for more shocking details of this truly dramatic story.

A 24-year-old woman came to Reddit and shared her emotional story.

The woman wrote, (Edited by Bright Side) “I (24F) recently attended my MIL’s birthday party. I spent 6 hours making her cake. There were about 25 guests, and after everyone had lunch, I went to the kitchen and did all the dishes.

To my shock, my FIL took a photo of me doing the dishes and sent it to a group with people I don’t know with the caption, ’There is a first for everything.’ I walked out to his whole family, talking about me behind my back.

I spoke with my husband (28M), and he said that they are just trying to support him because they feel I don’t do enough chores at home. He said they dealt with it in the wrong way, but they had the best intentions. We have been together for 5 years, and we have a 3-year-old.”

Things got even worse after OP overheard her in-laws talking about her behind her back.

The OP shared, “His grandparents called me to drop some warm clothes off for our son the next week, and when I walked into their home, I heard my FIL talking to his dad. He said, ’When she wanted to leave, I thought it’s best she just gets off.’

His father then responded, ’But what about their son’ to which my FIL responded ’She’s the type of woman to take the child but she also the type of woman to palm him off to other people so (my husband) would get him back soon enough.’”

The woman feels bad about the whole situation and needs help and advice.

The OP shared, “How do I navigate this? I don’t want to stay in a relationship with a family that is toxic. He has spoken with his family multiple times over the years about how they treat me, but nothing changes.

I work 3 jobs to support us, so I’m home a lot less than him and have a lot less spare time. Also, something I missed was that the birthday party was not hosted by me. It was at their house. I was a guest and had no obligation to do dishes. I definitely do fewer chores than he does due to my work schedule.”

The woman added an update soon after her initial post got published. She wrote, “I had a conversation with him this morning about his family having supervised visits with our son, and he wasn’t happy. He thinks I’m punishing his whole family for something a few of his family members did. I was super upset with the lack of support, again, and decided he was never going to make me or my feelings his priority and thought it’s best to leave.

Everything in the house belongs to me, but his parents paid our rent yesterday to help him without me knowing, so now I have to move out. He doesn’t think it’s healthy living in a house with someone he’s trying to ’get over’ so I’m currently trying to figure out how to save for another rental with first month’s rent and a deposit which is just under $1000 USD. It’s not small money for me, and I don’t have savings since everything I make/made goes into the home.

I know there will be a lot of drama soon with his family since I’ve made this decision, and if anyone is interested, I will provide updates.”

People of Reddit rushed to the comments section to express how they feel about this tough situation.

One user wrote, “Sounds like your husband is probably complaining about you to them behind your back. Why would they think you don’t do enough chores at home otherwise? Ask your husband if he’s been doing that & ask him to stop. The damage has already been done, but maybe things could get better.
At one point, I overheard my MIL tell my husband that she thought he should never have married me. At that point we had one kid and another on the way, so it really hurt. My husband was being kind of nasty to me during that time period, and it eventually came out that he was complaining about me to her and she, in turn, was poisoning him against me.
We ended up having a long conversation where I told him it needed to stop, or I was done, and he did change. I went LC with MIL for a stretch, too, which also helped.”

Another user said, “I would refuse to go back or host them. And even if your wimpy husband actually got them to behave, why would you spend your valuable free time on someone who think so poorly of you. They need a time-out until they truly change their behavior and attitude.”

One more person commented, “Spend your time with people who cherish you, not people who tolerate you. Your in-laws seem like a waste of time.”

And here’s a dramatic story of a woman, who was asked to babysit her sister’s kids multiple times, and she never refused. The woman did her sister a huge favor, and didn’t ask for any payment for looking after the kids. But then, during a family dinner, her sister and BIL deeply offended her and made her feel embarrassed, and since then, the OP refused to babysit for them.
Does the woman deserve sympathy, or is she overreacting? Read the story and share your opinion about this complicated family case.