I Refused to Pay a Fortune for My Boss’s Birthday Gift—And It Got Ugly

Workplace traditions are supposed to bring teams closer. But sometimes, they do the opposite. One of our readers shared a story about how a simple birthday gift turned into an unexpected lesson about office culture, money, and the things no one warns you about when you’re new.

Hello, Bright Side!

I’m a freelancer who joined a new company last month. For my boss’s birthday, everyone chipped in money to buy him a gift. I sent $50. Felt like enough for someone I barely know.

The next morning, we all got an email. I froze when I opened it. It said, “Thank you to everyone who contributed to Mark’s birthday gift! We collected $750 from 8 team members.”

And then there was a list. Names and amounts. Right there for everyone to see. My name was at the bottom with $50 next to it. Everyone else had $100.

Within an hour, my coworker Jenna messaged me saying, “Did you really only give $50, or is it a mistake in the email?” I told her everything was correct. Then she asked if “everything was okay financially” because she wanted to make sure I wasn’t struggling. I said I was fine. She left me on read.

At the birthday lunch (which I had to attend), Mark made a point to thank “everyone who made this possible” and made eye contact with me in a way that felt weird. Maybe I’m reading into it. I don’t know.

But now people are being kind of cold to me. Short answers in Slack. Wasn’t included in the coffee run when I was in the office.

Maybe I’m paranoid. Or maybe I should run from this company?

This time, we decided to ask our Bright Side colleagues to share their opinion. And they had a lot to say:

• $100 to a boss. A BOSS. The person who makes more than all of you. I’m actually speechless. © Cubiclesurvivor2019
• The fact that they listed the amounts publicly is so wildly unprofessional, I don’t even know where to start. That alone would have me job hunting. © throwaway_HRnightmare
• Jenna asking if you’re “struggling financially” is so passive-aggressive I physically cringed. You’re not struggling; you just have boundaries. © actuallythebadguy

• Wow! This screams “we’re a family here” toxic workplace energy. © popcorn_spectator
• Probably unpopular. Your coworkers aren’t wrong for thinking it’s weird you gave half when everyone matched. You’re not wrong for thinking $100 is too much.
  But like... first impressions matter? You basically announced, “I’m not a team player” before anyone even got to know you. That’s gonna follow you around. © real_talk_rachel

• I’m sorry, but WHO approved sending out an email with everyone’s contribution amounts???? That person needs to be fired immediately. That’s a massive breach of... just basic decency?? © quiet_quitter_queen

• The eye contact thing is killing me lmaooo. Mark really stood there like 🧍‍♂️ “thanks to EVERYONE” 👁️👁️ © snackroomwitch

• You should’ve just lied to Jenna and said it was a typo. Now you’ve made yourself memorable for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes you gotta play the game. © Lunatic

• As a manager, I would be MORTIFIED if I found out my team was pressured into giving $100 each for my birthday. Like genuinely horrified. If Mark is okay with this setup, that tells you everything about the culture there. © seen_it_all_susan

• The “left me on read” is doing so much heavy lifting in this story. Like she asked if you were okay, you said yes, and she just... stopped talking to you?? Make it make sense. © overthinker_olivia

Workplace money tension isn’t always about the amount—it’s about how decisions are handled. In another reader’s experience, a raise that appeared too late revealed an unhealthy pattern behind closed doors: I Refused a Salary Raise at My Job, Then My Boss Played Dirty