Her mother shouldn't be pressuring you and your husband should be shutting it down. And him giving you a choice how how you can spend your money? It's up to her parents to take care of her. Ask them what they'd do if you didn't have it. Get a loan? They can do that..
My Husband’s Ex Wants Me to Give Up My Dream to Help Her Daughter, I Refuse


After saving for years for her dream nose job, our reader, Heather had to pause her plans because her family pressured her into sharing her money instead. Feeling hurt, Heather turned to Bright Side for help on how to handle the unfair situation.
Hi Bright Side,
For years, I’ve been faithfully saving for a rhinoplasty, a surgery I believe will significantly boost my self-confidence. This wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision; it was a long-awaited goal tied to my personal well-being. I finally reached my financial target, only to have a new family need arise: my teenage stepdaughter needs braces.
My husband has given me two choices: I can either contribute to the cost of her braces or keep the money for my own procedure. While I appreciate that he’s left it up to me to decide, this situation has created immense internal conflict. The money I saved was for a personal dream I’ve worked hard to achieve, and I feel like that dream is now being unfairly weighed against a family obligation.
My husband’s ex-wife got involved and she has argued that my stepdaughter’s braces are a health necessity, while my nose job is merely a cosmetic luxury. She’s pressuring me, saying that my financial responsibility and ability to help obligate me to contribute.
Dealing with this has been hard. The stress is affecting my marriage. My husband has become emotionally distant, and the unspoken tension between us is growing. I understand that my stepdaughter’s dental health is important, but I also feel like my own desires and years of saving are being disregarded.
I’m hoping to get some advice on navigating this situation without destroying my family
Sincerely,
Heather
Thank you, Heather, for sharing your story with us. We understand the delicateness of this situation, for both you and your family, so we’ve put together some advice that we believe might help.
If you feel pressured to give, don’t do it.


Ex don't have any right in your life. Just ignore her. Keep telling her why they get diforce before.
You are not obligated to spend your money on anyone that you don’t want to and nobody should be pressuring you to do so. Let everyone know how you truly feel about the situation and each of their involvement in it. You shouldn’t have to dismiss or invalidate your feelings just because a need arose in the family. And you also don’t need to cave in to pressure from people about your finances. Your stepdaughter’s braces is everyone’s problem, not just yours. So therefore your husband and his ex-wife should contribute to the solution too.
Involve your stepdaughter in decision-making.
If your stepdaughter is old enough to understand the situation and what braces entail, it’s important to involve her in discussions about her dental care. Ask her how she feels about getting braces, and let her voice any concerns, questions, or excitement about the process. Give her a chance to weigh in on the timeline and any discomfort she might be worried about. This will help build trust between you, as she’ll feel that you’re listening to her and that her opinion matters.
You need to be a united front.
It might be best if your husband deals with his ex-wife directly, so as to take some of the pressure off of you. He needs to help support you in reaching a conclusion. He’s your partner and you need to discuss this situation in private first, so that once the decision is made, you can be able to back each other up and show a united front to both your stepdaughter and his ex-wife, should it not favor them.
Bright Side readers shared some of their thoughts.


Ex wife don't have any right to intervenes your life, ask her why they get diforce before. And ask her why he let his ex interrupt your family life now. Ask your husband why he marry you while letting his ex intervenes your present family life.
- You need to take care of yourself first. © Maria Aceves / Bright Side
- Is the father and biological mother contributing too or is it just you? And also you could probably do both do the braces under a payment plan. © Rhonda Jones / Bright Side
- OP please learn to love yourself as you are ❤️ unless it is for medical reasons please do not get surgery. Your husband married you for YOU. Also surgeries like that can lead to health complications down the line. I’m not saying to use the money for the braces (though as a stepmother you should consider your stepkids health) but use it for something fun like a well deserved vaca or save it up for emergencies (like home or car repairs) idk what you look like but i KNOW you’re beautiful as you are! © AngelWingsYT / Bright Side
- I am not a cosmetic surgery person, but she has been saving, probably since before she met her husband, and should be able to do what she wants with it. The stepdaughter has a mother and father to share the costs, and even to have a payment plan. They could both use their income tax refunds together to pay for the braces. They need to stop complaining and take care of their daughter who probably feels like she is in the middle and self conscious about get the braces in the first place. © Anonymous / Bright Side
- Why isn’t the mother paying up? At the end of the day the stepdaughter isn’t OPS financial concern, this is something her parents should be paying for between them. © Lady AngelWolfe / Bright Side
- Excuse me? Isn’t it her parents’ job to pay for their daughter’s braces? Both biological parents can open their wallets and pay. You’ve saved up your salary so it’s your money to do what you want with it. that they try to place you in debt because you want the money for yourself and treat you by not talking to you, etc. Showing your man’s true colors that he agrees with his ex. Maybe time to re-evaluate your marriage...
Should you have to sacrifice your money for something that your husband and his ex can pay for? Well...I’d probably get my nose fixed and then file for divorce... © Ilonka Wimmer-Ljungqvist / Bright Side
These stories prove that mixing money with family is riskier than people believe.
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