I Snapped at My Mother-in-Law for Her Controlling Behavior and I Don’t Regret It

Family & kids
2 weeks ago

Today’s story is about a woman who finally snapped at their mother-in-law, whose controlling behavior had pushed her to the brink. Tensions had been building for some time, as her constant interference in their personal life and attempts to dominate every situation became overwhelming.

She explained what happened.

My husband and I are in our early 30s, married for a few years but together for 11. Throughout this time we often argued due to my ILs behavior, specifically MIL.

There are many examples I could make, but to sum it up she has been controlling not only to my husband but also to me, even going as far as pressuring my husband to make me do what she wanted regarding situations that didn’t concern her at all, disrespectful towards me, overall invasive and demanding. You name it. The only thing she has not done is directly insult me to my face.

I think, I can never earn over which I paid by my precedent employer, but I was wrong, world is so large to try their fate. but now I am making $52/h even more,and easily earn minimum $1300/week, on the experience everyone must try to do work online, easy way to earn, here's an example.
𝐰𝐰𝐰.Richnow05

-
-
Reply

I kept telling my husband I was over their behavior and to put a stop to it, but he never really acted decisively, so MIL never really stopped.

Time after time I would put up a happy front and bite my tongue not to cause drama, but because everything just keeps piling up, I’m always on the verge of blowing up whenever I’m around them. I told my husband I’d like to limit contact at least for a while, but he insists we go visit. My husband is also aware of how much I’m affected by this.

Anyway, we meet up and MIL starts with her usual antics, I stay quiet until I’ve had enough and start talking back to her. I did not insult her, but I wouldn’t let anything slide like I usually do and highlighted every inappropriate or invasive comment. She is surprised and asks me what came onto me, I never acted like this, and so on.

In a fit of rage (I wasn’t yelling, and I spoke calmly and slowly, but my emotional state was crystal clear, you couldn’t mistake it for a lighthearted remark) I told her she’s been disrespecting me for years and this is what she’s getting now, and she made her bed so she should just lay in it.

Things got tense and we left. I’m upset but finally feel liberated for standing up for myself, my husband seems torn, and MIL is obviously livid. My husband has now said that he agrees and understands my emotional state on the matter but also wants to keep the peace and just apologize.

I refused and said I would only be open to revisit the relationship if I see some change and effort to at least be cordial and mutually respectful, and I absolutely will not apologize for anything I said because I mean it and would do it again. I reminded him that he had many chances to stand up to them and that I also said no one involved would enjoy it if I had to stand up for myself, and he never took me seriously. I also said I never insulted her or yelled at her, so apologizing for my reaction to her comments sounds incredibly backward.

People stood on her side.

  • “You’ve been treating yourself poorly for years by staying with a man who is willing to sit by silently while you are being treated disrespectfully, and asks you to take the poor treatment to keep the peace. Why did you marry him before this got resolved?
    At least at this point, you don’t have kids. If he does want kids, then find a good counselor and insist on establishing boundaries with the ILs before you bring a baby into this toxic family.” HowlPen / Reddit
  • “Hubby is used to this treatment from his mother. It is likely the way it has always been. Now that he has finally acknowledged what an unpleasant woman his mother is, it is time for him to enforce boundaries. Apologizing to this woman will not put a stop to her behavior, but likely reinforce to her that her actions are tolerated.” Ducky818 / Reddit
  • “I lived this for 40 years. You need to go no contact with MIL until your husband can grow a pair and stand up to her. He should tell her that the toxicity stops now, or he will also cut contact with her. This is his job and not yours.
    I don’t blame you for snapping — I know what it’s like. But he needs to man up because this is his problem and not yours. It took counseling and threat of divorce for my husband to understand.” juswannalurkpls / Reddit
  • “You’re a saint. Your husband needs to step up and be better. If he can’t stand up for you with you present, I highly doubt that he does behind your back. Makes me wonder what MIL says when you are not there, and why she’s comfortable enough to say it to him...” Ok-Conference4266 / Reddit
  • “You are 1000% correct. Do NOT budge on this. Good for you and your shiny spine.
    Your husband digging in his heels and refusing to resolve this with his mother is making it so much worse. This is not on you to continue to be treated poorly to ’keep the peace.’ It is ultimately on your MIL to treat her son and daughter-in-law with respect. Full stop.” pennywhistlesmoonpie / Reddit
  • “If anyone should apologize, it’s your husband. He should apologize to you for not having talked to his mother about her inappropriate behaviors as soon as they started.
    Also, he might consider apologizing to her for not informing her that what she was saying/doing was inappropriate. He knew this all along, and rather than do/say anything, he let it fester. That’s all on him.” Individual_Ad_9213 / Reddit

In the end, standing up to her mother-in-law’s controlling behavior was not an easy decision, but it was a necessary one. She has found a sense of relief in asserting her own space and independence. While the confrontation may have caused temporary discomfort, it can pave the way for healthier relationships and greater self-respect.

Preview photo credit ThrowRA_namenottaken / Reddit

Comments

Get notifications
Lucky you! This thread is empty,
which means you've got dibs on the first comment.
Go for it!

Related Reads