I Told My Friend Her Baby Isn’t Welcome in Our Gatherings and I Don’t Regret It

People
9 months ago

The arrival of a baby transforms the parent’s life. It’s a moment they need to relearn how to deal with their new everyday life, since their priority shifts towards the baby. But for today’s story, we have a mother who still wants to live a young, single life and bring the baby to all events. And their friends are tired of this.

This is her story.

One of my friends, Anna, had a baby around six months back. Our friend group is otherwise childless. All of us used to hang out a lot before the baby was born. Baby changed dynamics because Anna wanted to bring the baby everywhere with her, and it’s a baby.

We tried to plan things around the baby to include Anna, but it always ended up badly. We shouldn’t be loud cause the baby needs to sleep. The icing on the cake her baby is extremely fussy and cries all the time. It was just a downer for the rest of us. So we started hanging out without Anna and her baby.

Last weekend, all of us went on a staycation. We had a great time and posted photos and videos on Instagram.

Anna saw these and called me to ask why I did not ask her to come with us. I tried telling her it was a last-minute plan, and we could only find a child-free resort so as not to hurt her feelings. She called my bluff, sending me pics some random family had posted with kids at the resort.

She kept forcing me, and I told her we did not want to hang out with her baby. She asked how can I say that about her baby. I asked her to leave it at that, but she wouldn’t.

I finally told her it was the baby and we were all young. We don’t want to live our lives around a baby she chose to have. That we got to do adult stuff and party all we wanted. Her baby is the only reason she wasn’t invited. If she leaves the baby at home, she can come too.

She got really mad. She also sent a text in the group chat saying she was disappointed in all of us for excluding her just because she was a mom.

Half of our friend group thinks I should not have told her the real reason and is mad at me. The other half thinks she is unreasonable. Am I wrong for telling her the truth?

And people defended her.

  • “You tried to let her down easy, and she kept on asking. Her life is different, and she probably just needs to find a different set of friends, one that more closely aligns with her interests.” ed_lv / Reddit
  • “You’re not excluding her because she’s a mom. You’re excluding her because she makes being a mom everyone else’s problem — she won’t leave the baby home, she expects you to cater to her needs, and it sounds like she doesn’t remove the baby from the situation when it’s fussy, so you all have to deal with it.” knitlikeaboss / Reddit
  • “She needs to find other parents to hang out with now or figure out childcare if she wants to keep hanging out with her partying friends. She should have realized this would happen before deciding to give birth. Did she really think nothing would change when she became a mother?” AryaStark1313 / Reddit
  • “I have 2... I get it... And no, they don’t go with me; actually, I have both registered at 4 different drop-in daycares around my city, so if one is at capacity, I can drop them off at another for last-minute plans. And I always ask, ’Kid-friendly? No? OK, cool, can’t get a sitter tonight. See y’all at the next event’.” CatchMeIfYouCan09 / Reddit

The journey of parenthood is a life-changing experience that brings both joy and challenges. It reshapes your priorities, tests your patience, and pushes you to grow in ways you never imagined. And both parents need to understand this.

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