WHERE IS THE FATHER, WHERE IS THE FATHER, WHERE IS THE FATHER?
My Stepson Wouldn’t Help Around the House — So I Took His Gadgets Away

Raising a tech-obsessed teen isn’t easy, especially these days, when social media and the internet seem to be everything. One mom felt completely overwhelmed by her stepson’s constant phone use and attitude. Eventually, she hit her limit and took the phone away. Looking for support, she reached out to us for advice on what to do next.

We appreciate you reaching out and sharing your story with us. To help you navigate this situation, we’ve put together a few practical tips.
Focus on building trust and respect.
It’s important to rebuild trust after a tense moment like this. Let him know that while you want to set limits, you also trust him to make good decisions and want to work as a team to find solutions. Acknowledge that neither of you handled the situation perfectly and commit to improving together.
Model healthy technology use.
Kids tend to copy what they see, so this is a great chance to show healthy tech habits yourself. Put your phone away during meals or when you’re having a conversation—he’ll notice. It turns the focus into a shared effort, not just something he’s being called out for.
When it feels like you’re both in it together, he’s less likely to feel targeted and more open to thinking about his own screen time. Sometimes the best way to guide is by simply setting the example.
Set clear boundaries around screen time.
Instead of completely taking away his devices, establish clear and fair boundaries for when and how he can use them. Create a schedule together so he feels involved in the process, like setting specific times for meals, family activities, and homework.
Emphasize that you’re not banning screens but teaching him how to balance his time in a healthy way. Having clear boundaries can reduce power struggles and help him understand your expectations without feeling like his freedom is being taken away.
Make family time fun and inviting.
If you’d like him to spend more time with the family, make that time activities something he actually looks forward to. Plan activities you know he’ll enjoy—maybe a movie night with his favorite snacks, cooking a meal together, or heading out for something he’s excited about.
Let him help pick what you do. It shows that his opinions matter and makes the time feel more fun and less forced. When family time is something he enjoys, he’ll be more likely to join in—and it’s a great way to strengthen your bond.
Finding the right balance between showing kindness to your child and setting firm boundaries is no easy task. One mom decided to take a new approach by adopting the popular trend of praising children, even when their behavior wasn’t exactly angelic.
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