Raising a tech-obsessed teen isn’t easy, especially these days, when social media and the internet seem to be everything. One mom felt completely overwhelmed by her stepson’s constant phone use and attitude. Eventually, she hit her limit and took the phone away. Looking for support, she reached out to us for advice on what to do next.
Take the door off the hinges; no door slamming in your house. A chore list next. He can earn his devices back with work. The kid is spoiled. You’re trying to fix it. Take him to a real prison. He’ll beg you to let him clean up his “cell”. He’s a brat. React to him accordingly.
This is something you have to get a handle on NOW. At least at 12 you still have time. Taking the phone away isn't enough. The punishment for running away to his friends house should be severe and you should definitely crack down on him. I'd go no electronics for the rest of the year, no friends house, just homework and chores every day and stand over him to make sure they get done if needed. After the end of the year, give everything back with the warning that if the same problems return, so will the punishment. He wants to say that homes a prison? Tell him yes it is until he gets his act together. Sometimes tough love is needed. Stay strong against pushback and you will be glad you did. My son pulled something similar at 12. At 13 he's now a straight A student who doesn't complain about doing the dishes, mowing the lawn, or doing his own laundry. And he gets it now. Good luck.
We appreciate you reaching out and sharing your story with us. To help you navigate this situation, we’ve put together a few practical tips.
It’s important to rebuild trust after a tense moment like this. Let him know that while you want to set limits, you also trust him to make good decisions and want to work as a team to find solutions. Acknowledge that neither of you handled the situation perfectly and commit to improving together.
Kids tend to copy what they see, so this is a great chance to show healthy tech habits yourself. Put your phone away during meals or when you’re having a conversation—he’ll notice. It turns the focus into a shared effort, not just something he’s being called out for.
When it feels like you’re both in it together, he’s less likely to feel targeted and more open to thinking about his own screen time. Sometimes the best way to guide is by simply setting the example.
Instead of completely taking away his devices, establish clear and fair boundaries for when and how he can use them. Create a schedule together so he feels involved in the process, like setting specific times for meals, family activities, and homework.
Emphasize that you’re not banning screens but teaching him how to balance his time in a healthy way. Having clear boundaries can reduce power struggles and help him understand your expectations without feeling like his freedom is being taken away.
If you’d like him to spend more time with the family, make that time activities something he actually looks forward to. Plan activities you know he’ll enjoy—maybe a movie night with his favorite snacks, cooking a meal together, or heading out for something he’s excited about.
Let him help pick what you do. It shows that his opinions matter and makes the time feel more fun and less forced. When family time is something he enjoys, he’ll be more likely to join in—and it’s a great way to strengthen your bond.
Finding the right balance between showing kindness to your child and setting firm boundaries is no easy task. One mom decided to take a new approach by adopting the popular trend of praising children, even when their behavior wasn’t exactly angelic.
