I’ll Support My Sister Financially Only If She Agrees to Be Sterilized

Families are complex, each with its unique set of challenges. Welcoming a new family member is often a joyful event. However, when unplanned pregnancies repeatedly occur, it can put a strain on even the closest relationships.

A man shared what he was going through.

My younger sister had her first child at 15 and her second at 17. I’ve become their parent. Initially, I was their guardian, but I eventually adopted them.

I never planned on having kids, but now I have three. One of them, my biological daughter, was an unplanned surprise, but she’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I love her more than anything, except maybe her two brothers and my wife.

I want to make it clear that I don’t mind how many men my sister dates. I’m just the one picking up the pieces afterward.

She’s 25 now and expecting another child. Her “boyfriend” (47) turned out to be married and left her when she broke the news.

My parents have essentially disowned her, so she’s not getting any support from them. She came over to lament about her situation.

I offered to help her if she terminated the pregnancy and got her tubes tied. She called me a monster for suggesting an abortion and claimed I was denying her the chance to have a family.

I admit I am a monster. As she was leaving, she asked for gas money. I told her she knew what she needed to do to receive any help from me.

She replied that she thought the condition applied to significant help, not just $20 for gas. I responded that if $20 wasn’t considered real help, then she didn’t need it, and I closed the door.

For a week, she’s been trying to get me to change my mind, but I’m done. I love her, but I refuse to raise another child for her.

People supported him.

• “For as long as I can remember, all I wanted to be was a mom! In high school, I struggled to pick a career path, because nothing sounded appealing to me. I just wanted to be a mom. I wanted a huge family, lots of kids. Fortunately, I waited to have my first when I was 27. And now that I know what it’s like to be a parent.... we are ABSOLUTELY done!” Aggie219 / Reddit
• “She was a teenager with the 1st and 2nd. With the 2nd, that’s no longer a valid excuse because she already knew how babies were made. You love your kids, but you’re done starting with a new baby, again. I get it.
  I have talked to many friends who love their kids but have no desire to start over with a new one, again. Sister needs to get herself together or give that child up for adoption. Either way, she’s got to make some hard decisions with no one to bail her out, again.” WinEquivalent40** / Reddit
• “Often they want a baby because they want a thing that will give them unconditional love and joy. People give them attention and they feel important and wanted. When the person that is the baby turns out to be hard work and to have their attitude and opinion, it’s now work and no longer of value. It can be discarded because it is a love and attention vending machine and not a person.” Cloverose2 / Reddit

• “Your sister seems to treat motherhood like an impulse buy, and children aren’t items to be returned or passed off when inconvenient. Your offer to adopt comes from a place of compassion for those kids and shouldn’t be misconstrued as blanket permission for her to continue being reckless.
  It might sound harsh, but maybe it’s time for her to face some natural consequences or at least some comprehensive sex education and birth control options. When offering help turns into enabling bad behavior, it ceases to be helpful.” EvaStevens11 / Reddit
• “You are not a monster. Your sister is one, though. Giving births then abandoning her children is one form of monstrosity.” Winternin / Reddit
• “The father of the child can step up. No excuses.” NoOne6785 / Reddit
• “As if abortion is worse than abandonment. You’re a good sibling for holding boundaries. You can’t enable her any longer. I hope she grows up, but sometimes you can’t fix stupidity.” Either-Impression-64 / Reddit

Pregnancy is a delicate subject and challenging experience, regardless of age. Read the story of a woman who shares how her husband heartlessly abandoned her during childbirth, and how she found a way to get even.