My Boyfriend Wants a Paternity Test on Our Newborn Daughter

In the following narrative, the story of a young mother takes center stage. She finds herself navigating the emotional complexities of trust and doubt as her boyfriend, consumed by uncertainty, requests a paternity test for their newborn daughter. This demand casts a shadow over what should be a joyous time, prompting questions about faith, fidelity, and the fragility of human connections.

She explained what happened.

My longtime boyfriend of 7.5 years and I just had our newborn daughter almost three weeks ago, and he is asking for a paternity test. We met at work. I’m a nurse, and he is a surgeon, and he is very dedicated to his job. So needless to say, he does work a lot. I currently am not working, so I stay home a lot, and he supports us.

Throughout our relationship, I have been very faithful to him. He, however, has had a few slip-ups throughout our 7.5 years. Which I have forgiven him. He has told his OR staff that he asked for a paternity test, which upset me. He says they understand why I would be upset.

His rationale is that he doesn’t want to raise a child that he doesn’t know if it’s his 100%. He doesn’t want to find out later on down the road that she’s not his. Like he sees in movies. He just wants to be sure.

But then he goes on to say that I’m home all the time by myself since he’s never home, and he doesn’t know what I do for sure. Which definitely is a slap in the face to me, as I have been the one who has been faithful. If he wants to pay for the paternity test, then I’m fine with that. But am I wrong for being upset by how he’s trying to rationalize it and make me as if I’m the one who is unfaithful?

People supported her.

• “IMAX level of projection here. I’d be wondering if he has any other kids out there that need paternity tests. Cheating isn’t a ’slip-up.’” Fire_or_water_kai / Reddit
• “I’m a nurse who was married to a doctor. He will continue to cheat on you, I promise. He’s projecting on you his own behavior, my ex did that as well. He would call to see if I left work to the minute... forbid me to go back to work... it doesn’t get better. Hugs to you.” Comfortable-Wish-192 / Reddit
• “He wants the test because he thinks you’re like him, and you both know you can’t trust him. Give him the test and get it out of the way, but you’re 100% justified in being upset that it’s his own behavior that’s causing this lack of trust.” Fragrant_Spray / Reddit

• “He’s projecting because he’s been unfaithful himself. Not sure I could stick around with this relationship. His slip-up(s) probably won’t stop. Just a gut feeling. I wish the best for you, no matter what you decide.” Ill-Relationship-890 / Reddit
• “You’re not wrong, but I’m going to give you a bit of tough love here. This guy is not going to marry you and that’s bad for you. You’ve been together for 7.5 years, you’re having a kid together, and you aren’t planning a wedding.
  Without that marriage certificate, you have no right to any of his assets that will grow while you are home taking care of the house and your kid. Then, when/if he leaves you for one of his side pieces, you will be left with no money, a big gap in employment, and a career that was stunted by the time off.
  This ’get a paternity test’ thing is something men are discussing on forums where they don’t respect women much. I would be surprised if the advice not to marry you came from the same place. He’s protecting his assets at your expense and not marrying you because it makes it easier to cut and run.
  For your own sake, take a step back and really look at where your relationship is going. He doesn’t even trust that your kid is his. Without trust, your relationship is built on shifting sands.” Aylauria / Reddit
• “This is what happens when you have babies with cheaters. They will always think you are doing what they are doing. I would agree to a DNA test and put him on child support and plan your exit strategy.” Disastrous-Sthe / Reddit

In the end, the resolution of the paternity test stands as a pivotal moment in their lives. This experience tests the strength of their relationship, compelling them to confront their insecurities and reaffirm their commitment to each other and their child.