I Refused to Babysit My Brother’s Kids Just Because I’m Infertile

Family obligations can be complicated, especially when one sibling is expected to shoulder more than their share. A user shared how her brother often leaned on her for help with his children, from school runs to chores around the house. At first, she went along with it, but one request crossed a line. What began as a simple babysitting favor quickly escalated into a family conflict that spilled far beyond the walls of their homes.

How a babysitting request turned into a family scandal.

My brother always dumps his kids on me. I’ve done pickups and even done their laundry.

One day, he was going on a date and asked me to babysit them for the weekend. “Come on, you’ve always wanted kids anyway!” I refused.

The next day, I found out that he posted a rant online about how I was “too cold” to watch my own nieces and nephews. He even hinted at my infertility, saying, “I don’t know what it’s like to raise kids.” Relatives and even old neighbors were commenting, telling me I was cruel.

I honestly don’t know how to react. What should I do? I could really use some help here.

— Rachel

This is a tough situation, especially because it touches on very delicate and sensitive parts of life, like having your infertility used against you publicly. Still, since he is your brother, you might want to consider these suggestions as a way to rebuild and improve your relationship with him.

• Lock down your boundaries in writing. Next time he asks, respond via text and keep it short: “Sorry, I’m not available for babysitting.” No excuses, no explanations. Screenshot it. That way, when people claim you’re “cold,” you’ve got receipts that show you’re simply unavailable, not cruel.
• Flip the narrative subtly. If relatives bring it up, don’t defend yourself with long explanations. Just say, “I help out a lot, but I can’t always cover. He’s a parent 24/7, I’m not.” Simple, calm, and it puts the focus back on the actual responsibility.
• Stop filling the gap for free. He’s treating you like unpaid childcare. If you do feel like helping occasionally, put a rate on it. Even if you don’t expect money, telling him “Sure, my babysitting rate is $20/hr” will make the point crystal clear.

• Give relatives context calmly. If family members confront you, don’t rant. Just explain: you’ve helped a lot, but when he asked for a whole weekend so he could go on a date, you drew a line. That’s a very different picture from the one he painted online. You don’t have to drag him — just lay out the facts and let people connect the dots.
• Acknowledge his stress without excusing the behavior. When you talk to him, start with something like, “I get that raising kids alone is overwhelming, and I don’t mind helping sometimes. But I can’t be the default parent.” That way, he hears you’re not dismissing his struggles, but you’re also not signing up for every favor.
• Suggest boundaries that work for both of you. Instead of a hard “no” every time, offer realistic limits: “I can do the occasional evening, but I can’t do full weekends.” Giving him a clear framework prevents misunderstandings and makes you look reasonable to the rest of the family.

• Encourage him to build a sitter rotation. This takes pressure off you without abandoning him. Suggest he swap with another single parent, or make a sitter group chat. If money’s tight, point him toward after-school programs or community resources. You’re not leaving him stranded, just redirecting him to sustainable solutions.
• Protect your own mental space. If you’re feeling dragged down by his posts, mute him on social media for a while. You’ll hear about the drama anyway, but at least you won’t get blindsided scrolling your feed at midnight.

When family turns your deepest pain into a punchline, it cuts differently. It isn’t just an insult; it’s a betrayal. That’s exactly what happened in a similar story.