My Children Are Mad at Me Because I’m Spending Their Inheritance

The prospect of losing a beloved dad and grandpa is terrifying, and many people have a very hard time dealing with such situations. But one man was disheartened to see that instead of feeling bad for him, his kids started fighting about their future inheritance as soon as they found out about his illness. The dad decided to share his story on Reddit, where he got the much-needed support from fellow netizens.

A man shared his story.

I’m 63 years old. I took advantage of better times, financially speaking, and managed to get enough money to save, have a good retirement, and leave a good inheritance for my children. However, their actions in recent years have broken my heart.

My oldest daughter is a lawyer, married to an attorney. I have another son who is also a lawyer, a third who became an engineer, and the youngest, who is a salesman.

I was diagnosed with cancer, and I may not have many years left. After knowing this, my children began stabbing each other’s backs, trying to get their inheritance earlier. Initially, there were frequent verbal discussions, that escalated to legal battles.

The boiling point came when my daughter forged her brothers’ signature to take their part of the inheritance while I was being treated at the hospital. Now, none of the siblings can see each other in the eye, and only talk through lawyers.

Saddened by this situation, I decided to spend the money, thinking that if all of it is gone, they would have no more reasons to fight. I donated to charities, bought my wife beauty items, went on vacations with her paying for the better looking hotel rooms, gave my grandkids expensive gifts, bought my dearest friends and colleagues better equipments to improve their work. We bought a huge TV, prepaid for my funeral, among other things.

Right now, about 65-70 percent of my savings are gone. I plan to keep enough for the time I have left, and leave my wife a good cash amount.

However, my children are noticing that I’m spending a lot, and started to ask questions. My daughter figured out what happened on her own. I had no rebuttals, since I’m guilty of all the accusations she made, but then she mentioned that her children will suffer because of my selfish acts, not only that, but I am cursing all of her grandchildren by doing this.

That made me think, that my grandchildren shouldn’t be punished for their parents’ sins, and maybe, I was too self-absorbed to realize it sooner. That’s my dilemma now.

Netizens showed sympathy to the poster.

• «What did she accuse you of? Spending YOUR money? That you earned? On a life YOU wanted?
  Inheritance is what you get when someone dies. It’s NOT yours. You’re not entitled to it. You don’t get to dictate what happens until you actually inherit it.
  You can, until the day you die, change up who gets what. Or leave it to your grandkids in a trust their folks can’t touch. You’ve done nothing wrong. Just leave it all to your wife. That’s how it should go anyway.» Demented-Alpaca / Reddit
• «I keep trying to get my MIL to spend her money. It is hers. She won’t even go on bus trips with her senior community because they are „too expensive“. The woman makes more in investments and retirement accounts and pension payments in a year than my husband and I do combined (and we do fine).
  She frets about spending $10 on her grandkids. I am always encouraging her to travel. To buy what she wants. She is in her 80s. ENJOY IT.» StreetofChimes / Reddit
• «Are you saying an attorney, lawyer, engineer and a salesman can’t provide for their children and have to rely on inheritance? Tell them, it’s your money, and ultimately you aren’t responsible for the grandkids’ future, and they should be saving up for them.» johnbrownenterprise / Reddit

• «Your kids are telling you that you somehow have an obligation to provide for their children. This is not true. Your kids are making clear that they don’t want to have to risk making any sacrifices to provide for their own kids’ futures, while simultaneously telling you that you shouldn’t enjoy and spend the money that you and your wife have earned over the years.
  I told my parents that I hoped they spend every dime they earned on themselves, and to please not try to save anything for me, because I’m an adult who should support myself and my family.» sqibbery / Reddit
• «I received a large inheritance. I would give it all back to have my dad again.» mello_panda / Reddit
• «Do I think you went about this in a bit of an extreme? Yes. You easily could’ve just amended a will to be reflective of what you actually wanted to happen with your money.
  But in the end, it is your money that you earned, and you should spend it in whatever way brings you joy. Your grandkids also aren’t going to suffer. It sounds like all your kids have great earning potential, and they can provide for their children accordingly.» coastalkid92 / Reddit
• «I know this is an attempt to look positively on a negative situation, but you made sure your wife is taken care of. Your children have no right to demand you provide for them, for the benefit of their children no less, if they do not accept their duties as parents to provide for their own children independent of you.
  Your money had the potential to fully fracture and break the family. Now the discontent over how you handled your own personal finances may give them a seedbed to grow some common ground again. It’s not necessarily nice to think their animosity over this may bring them closer together, but it might.» Leairek / Reddit

Leaving an inheritance to kids and grandkids is the customary thing to do, but sometimes family members might expect too much and not be deserving of the money. A similar thing happened to a British grandpa who left only £50 to the grandkids, who didn’t bother to visit him while he was sick.