We would all like to think that we prepared our kids to be kind, humble adults who are ready to take on the world. But family is never that easy, and relationships have a way of fizzling out. One of our readers reached out to share her experience.
Dear<strong> Bright Side,
My daughter, Ella, moved out of my home when she started university. I was a single mom and I think she always resented me for that. But we had a decent relationship, that is until she moved back to the city I live in.
After she left, I rented a smaller place because I didn’t need anything more than the basics and I never planned on owning a home. It was too much responsibility that I was not ready to take on. But Ella seems to think that’s a problem.
Shortly after she returned, she started acting like she was above me. The first time she came to visit my tiny home, she said, “This dump is embarrassing!” and smirked. I didn’t say anything, mostly because I was shocked that she had become so cruel.
"Well then, it's a good thing that you don't live with me any longer. Let me know when you've moved into your own, nicer place. That I'm not helping you with. Since you're an adult now."
When she needs help suggest roommates. What the majority of people out of college need.
A few weeks after that, she called me in a panic. She said that she had been laid off and had fallen behind on her rent. She asked if I could borrow her money to pay it, but she was renting a high-end, very expensive apartment in the middle of the city. Her rent was more than I earned.
When I told her I couldn’t afford that, she started acting like a snob, so I hung up. But that wasn’t the end of it. The next morning, I went on her Facebook page and took screenshots of every post she made about my living situation.
She had a picture of my house with the caption “poverty living” and another post where she called my lifestyle “pathetic.” So I forwarded it all to her and said that she could move back under certain conditions. She’d need to apologize to me publicly, follow my budget, and get a job.
Then she would need to come back down to earth and understand that being the popular kid didn’t mean she could survive, especially not if her single mother wasn’t wealthy because she was living way above her means.
She said that I was being unreasonable, so I made things very simple for her. I said she could stay in “the dump” or stay homeless. She moved back last week, and she is furious because, as I suspected, all those high-end friends of her abandoned her the second she lost her job.
But I kind of feel bad for the girl. So Bright Side, what do you think? Was I being unfair when I burst her bubble? Or was I doing the right thing for my child?
Regards,
Jody H.
I wouldn't have let her move back in. Let her couch surf with her equally snobby friends; that might humble her. She has been cruel and dismissive; she needs to get jobs to pay her expenses wherever she lands with however many roommates it takes to survive.
Dear Jody,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your story with us.
You weren’t wrong to draw hard lines, but the next move matters more than the punishment did. Right now, Ella isn’t just humbled, she’s humiliated, grieving a lost identity built on status, and living in the very space she publicly mocked, which is a pressure cooker for resentment if it isn’t handled carefully.
Keep the conditions, but shift the focus from “you earned this fall” to “this is how you rebuild.” Make it clear that the apology and budget aren’t about control or revenge, they’re about accountability and learning how fragile her lifestyle really was.
At the same time, don’t tolerate continued disrespect in your home. The moment she slips back into contempt, address it immediately, not silently.
This situation will either teach her that survival and dignity don’t come from appearances, or it will harden her bitterness if she feels she’s being punished rather than guided.
You burst the bubble she needed to burst, now the real parenting work is making sure she grows from it instead of just resenting you for it.
Jody finds herself in a very difficult situation because every move she makes right now can either make or break the relationship she has with her daughter. But she isn’t the only one with family struggles.
Another one of our readers reached out to share their experience. You can read the full story here: I Refuse to Watch My Teenage Daughter Give Her Entire Salary to Her Boyfriend.
