My Husband Couldn’t Stop Complaining About His Coworker—It Was Much Worse Than I Thought

Your husband or wife might come home and typically complain about how hard work is, whether it’s a demanding boss or annoying coworker. In this woman’s case, it was the latter. Her husband always brought a circus of complaints when he came back home, only for her to find out a harsh truth in the end.

He wouldn’t stop complaining about her.

A few months ago, my husband told me they hired a new woman in his department. I thought nothing of it until he kept saying things like, “She’s so weird! She can’t do anything right.” It seemed like he couldn’t stand her. He even went on to say, “She comes to work looking like a clown,” just because she wore red lipstick.

I started getting uneasy when this went on every other day. One time, we were out shopping, and I was trying out this skirt, he said, “It’s gorgeous on you, it would look terrible on her legs.” That’s when I had it. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there’s more to the story.

I can’t believe I married this kind of man.

We were watching movies and I caught him looking at her Instagram profile. He was zooming in on all her pics like a creep.

I got a text from her one day. I don’t know how she got a hold of my number. She said, “You need to know this. Your husband is stalking me.” Of all the things he could’ve done. I thought she was letting me know he cheated and had an affair, but this stings much worse, knowing I married this kind of man.

I don’t know what to do. Should I confront him and consider divorce?

Thank you for your letter! We’ve prepared some advice for you.

Always trust your gut.

Your gut led you to the right direction. He was excessive with his criticisms of the coworker. All these odd comments suggested something deeper than casual disdain.

When someone protests too much or can’t stop talking about someone they “don’t like,” it often signals a fixation. You recognized this pattern, and that’s important.

His behavior was alarming.

Zooming in on her photos, constantly commenting on her looks, and obsessing over her to the point that she contacted you is quite disturbing. Whether or not it was a physical affair, stalking is a serious violation of boundaries, and it’s not a minor character flaw. This isn’t about jealousy, it’s about your safety now.

Take the woman’s message seriously.

While it is difficult to trust someone other than your husband, the other woman’s message was loud and clear. She didn’t have to reach out. For her to contact you shows that she felt compelled to speak up, possibly out of fear or concern. That tells you how serious and uncomfortable your husband’s behavior has become.

Begin setting your boundaries.

Now that you know what you’re dealing with, protect yourself emotionally and mentally. Whether that means seeking therapy, separating for a time, or gathering more information before making a decision, this is the moment to prioritize your peace. You don’t owe anyone your silence or tolerance, especially not someone who has broken the trust of a marriage in such a deceptive way.

Trusting your gut instinct in these situations is critical. Once you know something isn’t right, it’s best to investigate. If you feel off, like someone is watching you, here are the best signs of a stalker to look out for.