My MIL Is a “Mommy Wife” for My Husband and They Both Treat Me Awfully, I’ve Had Enough

A woman, 29, has taken to Reddit to share her heartbreaking story, addressing it directly to the one person she hopes will see it—her husband. In an unusual twist, this post is not just a cry for help or advice, but a message meant for the man who has made her life unbearable.

As her story unfolds, it becomes clear that her struggles go far beyond a troubled marriage. She finds herself trapped in a situation that grows more unbearable by the day. But then, something shifts. One day, she reaches her breaking point—and everything changes.

A woman, 29, has turned to Reddit with her totally dramatic story, which was meant to be an open letter to her husband.

A woman, 29, posted her story on Reddit, and the further it gets, the more dramatic it feels. She began her post as a letter to her husband, saying, “Hi Steffan, maybe you will finally listen.”

“And if you’re wondering if you can just speed home and stop me from doing this and leaving, it’s too late. I’m sending you this after I’ve already loaded everything in the car and left. Don’t worry, I spoke with our landlords and took my name off the lease. I’ve set up a direct deposit for the next month’s rent. After that, you’re on your own, ‘buddy.’”

“I guess you’re wondering why. I’m guessing you’ll act like you’re completely blindsided, right? Because you’ve done absolutely nothing wrong, and you’re a great husband and father-to-be, aren’t you? Well, ‘buddy,’ let me break it down for you in a language you understand.”

The OP unveiled many details of her life with her husband and MIL, and it turned out to be a real mess.

The OP wrote, (Edited) “I (29F) have been married to my husband (35M) for five years, and we’ve been together for nearly ten. On paper, everything seemed fine, but in reality, our marriage has been anything but. I’ve reached my breaking point, and I need to know if I’m the one in the wrong here.”

“From the beginning, my MIL has been a nightmare. At our wedding, she wore white, claiming it was a family tradition. She constantly criticizes me, my cooking and appearance.
I’ll never forget the time when she called me fat at a family gathering, right in front of everyone. And what did my husband do? Nothing. Not a single word to defend me.”

And it didn’t stop there. The OP shared, “She has ‘accidentally’ destroyed my belongings, including my grandmother’s necklace, which she threw out because it ‘looked like cheap costume jewelry.’ She’s gone out of her way to make me feel small and unwelcome in my own home. But every time I tried to talk to my husband about it, he’d brush it off, saying I was overreacting or being too emotional.”

The woman’s spouse followed the behavior line of his mom, and even worse.

The desperate woman shared, (Edited), “My husband is always on Reddit, constantly giving strangers relationship advice, which is laughable considering how he treats me. He spends more time rating women’s bodies than talking to me. And my MIL is a pure nightmare, because she now has plans towards our, yet unborn, daughter.”

The woman added, (Edited), “Yeah, my husband has got plenty of time for Reddit but can’t be bothered to remember anything about my life. He’ll forget my birthday, our anniversary, even simple things like what I’m working on or what’s important to me, but he has a perfect memory for his work schedule and things that matter to him.”

“When we fight, he becomes incredibly hostile and always throws in a sarcastic ‘buddy’ at the end of his sentences, like I’m some acquaintance he can barely tolerate. And he never cleans. The house, the dishes, laundry—you name it, it’s all on me. It’s like he thinks being an adult is optional, as long as he’s got his job and his Reddit account.”

“The final straw came a few weeks ago. I’m 5 months pregnant with our first child, a daughter. My MIL started making comments about how she’ll have to teach her manners and how she’ll raise her to be ‘tough’ because I’m ‘too soft.’ When I told my husband that I didn’t want his mother to have too much influence on our daughter, especially with the way she treats me, he just laughed it off, saying his mother ‘means well’ and that I was ‘overthinking it.’”

The OP doesn’t want her MIL to influence her life anymore and wants to protect her baby from the grandma.

The woman wrote, (Edited), “But the moment that truly broke me was when we were talking about future childcare, and my husband suggested that his mother should watch our daughter while we work. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, especially considering how his mother treats me, and he snapped. He called me ‘paranoid’ and said I should ‘get over it’ because his mother was going to be a big part of our daughter’s life whether I liked it or not.”

“This is the same woman who mistreated my husband’s nephew, and no one does anything about it. It’s like they’re all living in some kind of cult, and I’m finally waking up to the reality of what’s going on. If he wouldn’t stand up for me, how could I expect him to stand up for our child? I started to fear for what kind of environment our daughter would grow up in—a place where she might be belittled by her own grandmother, with a father who wouldn’t do anything to stop it.”

The woman’s final decision was tough, but she doesn’t regret it.

The OP shared, “Oh, and did I mention that he missed our first ultrasound? His mother ‘needed’ him to help her with something urgent. It turned out to be fixing her Wi-Fi. Wi-Fi! He chose that over seeing our daughter for the first time. That told me everything I needed to know about where I stand in his life.”

“So, I packed up and left. I’m done living like this. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I’ve already contacted a lawyer. You can’t scare me into complying anymore because I have all those texts. You know exactly which ones I’m talking about.”

“So, Steffan, I wish you all the best in your future marriage—with your mother and the women of Reddit. Am I a bad person for leaving my husband after he neglected me for years, let his mother mistreat me, and made me fear for our future daughter’s safety?”

People of Reddit rushed to comments section to share their opinions.

In the comments to the post, one user wrote, “Hope Steffan and mommywife are eternally trapped with each other. She failed raising her son into a complete autonomous human and would have tried to damage your daughter. He would have let her.”

Another person said, “I think in her eyes, she raised him perfectly to be her baby-husband forever. Now she can have him. Forever. Sounds like they deserve each other.”

One more user added, “So now what you need to do is send a link of this post to Stefan! Wouldn’t want him to possibly miss it.
Good luck OP, you’ll be great now that you’ve lost that 200 lbs that were hanging around your neck. I’m sure mommy will be thrilled now that you’re gone, and she’s gained the 200 lbs.”

And here’s a story shared by a woman, whose MIL is so possessive about her son, the OP’s husband, that she even wants to sleep in their bedroom and meddle with everything in their married life.