My SIL Secretly Tested My Toddler’s DNA, She Didn’t See My Response Coming

Relatives are meant to stand together in difficult times, yet sometimes one person’s bitterness threatens that unity. That’s what happened to a man on Reddit, whose sister-in-law tried to dig up hidden truths. But her scheme collapsed, leaving her accusations powerless.

The Reddit user (who we’ll call OP) shared a story about the daughter he’s been raising, despite not being her biological father. “I’m not biologically related to her at all,” OP explains, adding that his daughter, Lily, entered his life under tragic circumstances. Lily’s biological parents, OP’s childhood friends, died tragically when Lily was just three months old. With no other family able to step in, OP made the decision to adopt Lily.

“I had been iffy about the idea of kids, but I didn’t want their daughter to grow up in foster care or around people who didn’t have a connection to her bio parents, so I stepped in,” OP shares. Despite his initial reservations, he chose to raise Lily, ensuring she would be loved and cared for.

Lily knows she’s adopted and understands that her biological parents are gone. “She knows her parents are dead, but I’m saving the details for when she’s older,” OP explains.

Though Lily doesn’t look like him at all (she looks exactly like her biological parents), most people assume OP is her biological father. “I don’t ever really correct this when and if people assume this because it just seems unnecessary,” he adds.

A few weeks ago, during a family gathering at his parents’ house, OP’s sister-in-law (SIL) saw an old photo of OP with his late friend and her husband. “She pointed to my friend and asked who she was. I explained that it was Lily’s mother,” OP recalls. His SIL was aware that Lily’s biological mother had passed, but didn’t know any more than that. “I guess she assumed that Lily was my biological daughter and didn’t realize that both of her parents were gone.”

Later, things took a turn when SIL took matters into her own hands. “Without me knowing, she had a DNA test done on Lily using my brother’s DNA,” OP shares. When the test results came back, showing no relation between the two, his SIL confronted him, waving the results in his face. “She came up to me with the results and said, ‘You’re taking care of a dead woman’s affair baby,’” OP recounts, adding that this confrontation happened in front of Lily. “I was shocked. I just stared at her for a while before bursting out laughing. I didn’t know what else to do.”

He calmly responded, “I told her I knew Lily wasn’t my biological daughter, and that adoption exists. I don’t need a DNA test to tell me she’s my daughter. She’s my kid because I love her.”

SIL didn’t take it well. “Her face went red, and she stormed off,” OP recalls. But the situation didn’t end there. Later, OP’s brother expressed frustration. “My brother was mad at me for embarrassing his fiancée. But I told him, ‘She embarrassed herself. What did she expect? That I’d break down and abandon my daughter just because she showed me a DNA test?’”

OP’s brother defended his fiancée. “He said she thought she was doing the right thing,” OP shares, adding that his brother called him out for not being more understanding. “I still don’t know what she was trying to achieve, but I don’t feel like I was in the wrong. She stuck her nose where it didn’t belong.”

Now, OP is seeking opinions on Reddit. “So, was I in the wrong here?”

People in the comments jumped in to share their own perspectives on the situation.

• Why didn’t she privately ask your brother about the situation if she was so concerned? And she made this big announcement in front of the little girl? She did that for dramatic effect not because she cared about you or the child. She wasn’t trying to do the right thing, she was trying to start crap.
  She owes you an apology. She owes your daughter an apology. Also she touched your daughter without permission to do this test. She’s pretty awful.
  You’re an amazing person for providing a safe, loving home for a little girl who lost her world. © hissyfit64 / Reddit

• The brother obliviously [sic] knew the DNA test was being done. In a normal world, it’s at that point the brother tells her the scenario..... or it’s brought up somewhere in the 2yr period in which they are dating given everyone else knows. © TheAxe11 / Reddit

• If you adopted a child, they should be wearing some piece of flair to indicate they’re adopted. Otherwise, you’re just setting yourself up for situations like this. © sergeant_bigbird / Reddit

• Do understand that brother needs to publicly support his fiance. He can dress her down in private about her actions, but has to support her in front of others. Supporting her does not mean that he agrees with her actions or thoughts. © MeVersusGravity / Reddit

• Yes, she was 100% out of line. I would just like to add that if your own brother’s fiancé can’t be told the truth about the situation then you’re kind of fibbing unnecessarily.
  Nothing can excuse the craziness she brought to you, however I don’t think any of this would have happened if you didn’t try to cover up that fact. Everyone close to you should know she’s adopted, because that’s the truth. Why pointlessly hide that fact? And if you’re answer is “because it’s easier” well it’s not really a good reason.
  My brother is a compulsive liar that will pretend he’s religious to make a conversation go smoother. He will fake an accent, make up stories, all in the name of “making things easier”. I can just sort of see him in your position. Lying always makes it seem like you have something to hide, and you don’t. © CasualSky / Reddit

Family bonds can be shaken by secrets, yet trust and love often prove stronger than suspicion. And sometimes, DNA tests reveal far more than expected, like in this surprising story.