My Wife Made an Effort to Drastically Reinvent Herself, but It Ended Up Changing Our Relationship

Relationships may start with butterflies and adrenalin rushes, but as time goes on, life gets busy. Kids, careers, routines, physical changes in your body and health, everything competes for time and that spark you felt can slowly fade away. This is exactly what happened to one of our Bright Side readers, who shared his story with us, and got us all starry eyed. Here’s how.

Hi Bright Side,

I have a rather unexpected story to share with you, and it’s about my wife and our relationship. She had been feeling down about her looks after gaining weight from hormonal changes. She had always talked about getting lip fillers.

After a decade of marriage and two kids, she finally did. I didn’t love the idea, but I wanted to be supportive. After all, it’s her body and her choice. When she walked in, beaming with confidence, I froze. She looked at me, and I finally blurted, “Oh my God, you look stunning!” She lit up!

Her entire face had changed; like she was already very beautiful, but now, she glowed. Even though her lips were swollen and took about a fortnight to achieve the look that she wanted, she looked amazing. More than the lip fillers, it was the fact that she was able to do something for herself and make a change that she really wanted to.

I admit, I was never a fan of cosmetic procedures, but it’s not just the lip fillers that are making her look more beautiful. She’s happy, and since I supported her, that spark in our marriage that was fizzling out is back. She laughs more, touches me more. I brought her flowers, booked us a date night at her favorite sushi place.

My kids are making faces at us, making gagging noises, and generally being hilariously sarcastic. My younger daughter calls us “old lovebirds,” while my older one declared that we are “shameless canoodlers!”

It’s true, we’ve rediscovered our love for each other, and it’s amazing! Can you share some tips with me on how to let this spark remain, for the rest of our lives?

A happy husband,

Gerard Nolan

Dear Gerard, what a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it with us, and making our day. It’s so wonderful to see that you supported your wife, and how your relationship became even better because of it. Frankly, you two are setting couple goals and don’t need any advice from us, but here’s what we think every couple could do to remain in love.

Here’s how to keep the love alive in a relationship:

• Be each other's biggest fans: You may have had reservations about your wife getting any cosmetic changes, but you stood by her. Just keep up the good work and learn to be each other's biggest support. Change is inevitable; staying positive about each other is a choice.
• Don't let conversation lag into routine: We understand that as parents, there is a ton to do, be it schedules, chores, pick-ups and drops. Don't let this be the sole communication between you two. Talk to each other, ask questions about how the day was, if there's anything new you could try together. Spark a conversation, and see the magic.
• Try something new, together: Psychologists' research says that couples who try new or challenging activities together, end up with a better and deeper bond. So try some "firsts" like signing up for dance classes, trying a new cuisine, joining a fitness program together, or even trying a new board game.
• Small, meaningful gestures matter more than you think: Write her little love notes, or remember to bring her coffee just the way she likes it. Perhaps you could get her favorite bottle of perfume before it finishes, or send her a naughty text in the middle of the day. Showing affection in ways both big and small will keep the love alive in the long run.
• Intimacy needs to be loving, and fun: Intimacy is an important part of a couple's life, and needed to feel connected. But it should not feel like a chore and something that adds pressure to your life. Keep it fun and playful. Flirt and tease the way you used to. The rest will follow.
• Make time for each other: Keep that “shameless canoodling” alive by actually making time for each other. We're not talking watching TV while the kids go to bed. Try Friday night dates, weekend morning walks, or even a yearly trip, minus the kids allowed. The memories you make are likely to last a lifetime.
• Let the kids know you guys are very much in love: Let the kids make fun of you, their funny quips are proof that they’re witnessing something healthy and rare, parents who actually like each other. That's a wonderful legacy to give them.

Not only have you managed to keep the fun alive in your marriage, the love between you two seeps through the letter you wrote, and it truly brightened our day. Just like the romance between Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr., who are setting couple goals for us to follow!