16 Stories That Reveal What Turns Your Life Might Take If You Marry Someone With a Child
Raising kids is an uphill task, but raising stepkids is even more complicated. The relationships between stepparents and stepkids are often full of conflicts and quarrels. The good thing is that there are some positive exceptions to this rule.
Bright Side empathizes with all those who failed to get along with the kids of their significant others and sincerely admires those who could.
Several years ago we visited one couple who had a kid from the wife’s first marriage. As we were sitting at the table, the child was running around and eventually broke a plate. His stepfather asked him to be more careful because now he would have to clean salad off the carpet. At this moment, his wife almost ran at him saying, “Don’t shout at my kid, shout at your own kid.” We were shocked and said to her that he didn’t shout, but asked calmly. Eventually, she started to say to us and other guests that “we shouldn’t meddle and that they will figure everything out themselves.” They did — and now they live separately. © al56.81 / Pikabu
When I first met my husband, he told me he had 2 kids, ages 5 and 7. I was honest and told him I don’t want kids and that I have no experience with them. I also said that I’m not interested in meeting them either and was ready to not start this relationship. But that choice became very hard when we realized we were madly in love. I assumed I would only ever deal with some weekend visitations here and there, which was totally fine — I’d just go do my own thing. They are now 20 and 22. There was a lot of drama, ups and downs, and of course, both of them ended up living with us (one after the other, 2 years apart when they were in their teens) after their mom kicked them out. I wasn’t happy when they moved in, but of course, I didn’t treat them badly either. © Wendy Kroy / Quora
My mom married a guy just a few years older than me. Being a similar age is pretty awesome. We have tons of things to talk about, when I’m doing renovations to my house, he’ll come over to help and usually stay over so it’s like having your friend over all the time. We’re both into cars so we bond over that too. All in all, it’s pretty good. He doesn’t act like he’s my dad or anything. It’s more like having a best friend that’s dating your sister, rather than some boring old dude dating your mom. © thekungfupanda / Reddit
My stepfather was 17 years old when he chose to take on a woman with a 4-year-old daughter who he never failed to treat as his own, even after my brother and sister were born. My stepdad is one of the best men I have ever met and I’m very lucky to have him. © Twinklekitchen / Reddit
My “step” kids and I entered into each other’s lives when they were 4 and 2 respectively. My daughter, at the time of the marriage, approached me after the ceremony and said “I’m going to call you ’Dad’ from now on.” It’s a badge of honor that I still carry, and she’s currently 15. My son was only 2, so I’m literally the only dad he’s ever known. There’s never been a moment’s hesitation with making a fatherly decision or stepping up as their parent from day one. I accepted the responsibility, I ran with it, and my relationship with my children has never been stronger. © Wayne B***** / Quora
At about 11, my granny lost her mother. Soon after it, her dad married another woman. Those were hungry post-war years and there was very little food. Her stepmother would cook for herself and for her husband and shared very little food with my granny. My granny would always be hungry. She told she once went to work in the field, then she realized she had forgotten something and went back home. Her stepmother wasn’t home but there was a chicken soup being cooked on the stove. My granny left for the field again but when she came back in the evening, no one offered her chicken soup. I don’t know why her father let it all happen but my granny never said anything bad about him. © Zoreslava97 / Pikabu
My wife and I got together when my daughter from a previous relationship was 2.5 years old. We’ve had open and honest communication our whole relationship, and she originally didn’t know how she was going to be with my daughter. I’ve watched her over the years become completely attached to my daughter, treating her the same way as our 2 daughters. The day that I knew there was complete acceptance was when my wife was asked by someone “How many children do you have,” and she responded with a simple “3.” © CanadianGamer001 / Reddit
My parents divorced when I was 5. Having left everything, my mom took me and we moved north. At the age of 10, I started to regularly cry and ask her to take me to my father. At that time, he was already married to another woman and was raising 2 stepkids. In the summer we went back to our hometown, my mom left me at my dad’s place, and left. I lived with my father and my stepbrothers for one week. I always felt odd, but my father would always pay attention to me which made me feel good. One night he had to leave. When I went to bed, his wife suddenly approached me, and said, “I am so tired of you!” She grabbed my hand and pushed me out the front door, leaving me alone. I was sobbing and walking on the road until the moment some man who knew me picked me up and took me to his home. He contacted my mother — she came to pick me up and we left the city. 15 years later, I call my dad every once in a while. © Homa86 / Pikabu
- My stepson is 11 and has a LOT of extended family. His bio mom was married to stepdad #1 for the first 8 years of his life and, while they have separated, he is still an active part of his life, gets him on some weekends, etc. Meanwhile, his dad married me and I became stepmom #1. His mom is now engaged to stepdad #2, meanwhile, stepdad #1 has remarried and my stepson considers his new wife to be his stepmom as well — so stepmom #2.
He recently got a new teacher in the middle of the school year and she believes his imagination is running wild, causing him to lie often, or that he possibly has a mental health issue. This worried my husband who looped stepdad #1 in and invited him to join the call too. So ALL of us end up on this zoom call with the teacher, all deeply concerned, and after we explained who all of us were, she burst out laughing.
Apparently, stepson, when in class, refers to us all as “mom” or “dad” and doesn’t differentiate between parents vs step-parents. So he will say “my mom is a realtor” and then 10 minutes later say “my mom is a doctor.” She thought he was having problems because he seemed to be blatantly lying in short timespans, contradicting himself. © complichated / Reddit
- I met my stepson when he was just 2 years old and fatherless. Lucky for him he has a mother who is nothing short of amazing. At that point I already liked kids, however I was completely unsure about how to deal with them and how to be a parent. But because my partner was so confident and so good at being a mother, it allowed me to be inspired to become a good father as well. And despite my initial lack of parenting-know-how the 3 of us became the very best of friends, as well as a very happy, loving, and nurturing young family.
I love him very much, and if I could decide everything, he would have my blood running through his veins, circumnavigating each corner of his young, pure little heart. That will never happen, however. But I choose to believe FAMILY is far more than what common blood can decide. It is about loyalty, understanding, and love. © Paolo Montesclaros / Quora
- I joined their family when they were 3 and 7. They still see their dad every weekend. It’s been 9 years and I still don’t feel like they’re my own. However, the older one has started calling her biological father by his first name (they call me by my first name), so I wonder if they’re trying to level us. It would definitely make it easier to love them if they forgot about their father’s programming against me. They pretty much hate me for a day or 2 after they come back “home.” © unknown author / Reddit
- My school friend had the following situation: her father married a woman not much older than my friend (the young wife was about 19-20 at that moment). Her mother passed away 6 years before that and her father was raising 2 kids. He is a very good man — smart, interesting, fit, and runs his own business. But the age difference played its part and she would always spend more time with 16-19-year-old “kids” at various get-togethers with their family friends. All because my friends were much closer to her age than her husband’s friends. She was best friends with her stepdaughter. The stepmother was even a bridesmaid at her stepdaughter’s wedding and became the godmother of her older son. © MagicRacoon / Pikabu
- My stepdaughters are not older than me, although one is my age and the other one is only 8 years younger than me. The stepdaughter that’s my age is my friend. We were best friends in high school. In fact, she was the one to introduce me to her dad and was the first one to accept and support our relationship 100%. When she held my first child she cried and that’s when she decided to have children. She got pregnant 2 months later. My children adore her kid and she is my first child’s best friend.
My younger stepdaughter had a little more trouble accepting me. When we got engaged she was pissed. When I got pregnant a few years later she called her father in a rage. We hadn’t seen her for 2 years but she demanded he abandon me and our unborn child or he would never see her again. It’s been 6 years since then and she has started texting her father. They are trying to rebuild their relationship. She has finally accepted me. She has 2 little girls now and we are meeting them for the first time next week. © Sami Darby / Quora
- When I was 14, I visited my dad’s and his young wife’s house that was 2,500 miles away from my home. He was urgently hospitalized and I had to stay for one more week with his wife (she was a little older than 20 then). She was quite nice in front of my dad and we got along well but when we were alone, her manners changed drastically... In the end, I still communicate with my dad, but I still don’t understand his wife’s motives. © Anjanjaha / Pikabu
- My dad is married to a woman 10 years younger than me. It was annoying cause she was like the annoying little sister I never had. I stayed with them a few years trying to go back to school, and she would go through my stuff and take my things without asking. When I saw her wearing my shirt I asked her about it and she said she’d found it in the laundry room and assumed I didn’t want it anymore. She would also take the things that I had just bought and tell me that she took them because she liked them. © serialspooner / Reddit
- Being a stepparent is the worst job in the universe! You’re in a job description that requires everything of you as a true parent, but you’re not always respected as such or given any authority. There is the EX to contend with who is usually the EX for good reason and hasn’t changed. There is the natural desire from the kids to try to break you and your partner up and/or reunite their parents. I tried my best for 11 years. The kids were grown, married with their own kids, & gave their dad the ultimatum — her or us. They won! But I’m on my way out of this toxic life. © Leisha Hiester / Quora
Do you have friends who also became stepparents?