He didn’t even realize he was looking in the mirror until the end. Then all the feelings crashed down hard on him. Hopefully, he’ll learn. Good job at figuring out a method that illuminated the situation. © Neither-Entrance-208 / Reddit
I would believe that he did not know because, in his mind, that is in no way who he is. He is a rational, calm man who complains only when something is egregiously wrong, and he is respected by all and sundry, especially the children. I bet he was thinking, “Haha, my child is rehearsing for a play or some child thing.” Someone whose view of himself is so different from who he really is very well might not realize this when he is looking at his own reflection. © FeuerroteZora / Reddit
I’m a psychologist. Most people are quite blind to how their behavior may appear to and be interpreted by others, at least in some respects. More simply put, we all have blind spots in our self-image, sometimes really big ones, and it’s within these blind spots that many of our less-desirable traits live. © DrKittyLovah / Reddit
I think you have a good chance here. You can acknowledge, “Hey, dad, I know that I probably did hurt your feelings, and I am sorry. Of course, you work hard and provide for us, and we appreciate it, but I want you to see that your behavior hurts mom’s feelings and hurts the family.” To me, the fact that he went quiet instead of exploding in anger says there is hope!
Like many, MANY men his age, he struggles to process those emotions, but he recognized he was feeling more embarrassed/hurt than angry. The key is to understand and withhold judgment, to re-center the convo on not just his pain but everyone’s pain, and to move forward. That’s tough, and you are a kid — it’s not your responsibility to do this. But I always ask, do you want to win or be right? © Benevelot Ceasar / Reddit
I just want to add that I would also recommend you have a private chat with your mother. Explain to her that “me acting like Dad was not just about pointing out his bad behavior toward you. I also wanted to point out how your marriage affects the whole family. The daily fights and Dad’s yelling affects everyone. We all feel it when it gets to the time Dad is due home, and we prepare to listen to our dad be mean to our mother. It affects all of us, knowing our dad doesn’t respect our mother.” © excel_pager_420 / Reddit
You are awesome. You faced him and did something to try to change the situation. Continue being like this, don’t listen to their complaints about you disrespecting him. Respect is earned, not given away. Moreover, he has been acting like a clown for too long to think he deserves any. Or does he think that he deserves a medal because he brought children into the world and fed them? That is his duty and is really a basic level duty for a parent. © SkyLightk23 / Reddit

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