11 Psychological Hacks for Those Who Lack Confidence

How often do you think that you would get your dream job and have a better life if you were a more confident person? Not everyone is born with confidence, but you can develop it.

We at Bright Side think that self-confidence is a very important quality, which is why these tips from psychologists may be very useful to know.

1. Learn to accept compliments.

Everyone reacts to compliments differently. Some people become shy and even draw attention to their flaws. This is the wrong way to react to compliments and it shows that a person is not self-confident. Besides, it might sound like you don’t really value the opinion of the person who gave the compliment in the first place.

The best way to react to a compliment is to smile sincerely and say, “Thank you.” Don’t assume that a person is trying flatter you, just try to believe that some of your qualities may really seem attractive to other people.

2. Don’t try to be perfect.

Let’s say you have a very tight schedule: 20 phone calls, 10 meetings, reading and replying to emails, and not a single non-effective minute to yourself. But instead of being satisfied, you always feel disappointed because the results are not good enough, right?

When you set goals that you can’t possibly reach, you are moving toward anxiety, not success. Successful people also make mistakes and regret some of the decisions they make. But they see lessons in all these situations and are able to learn from them.

3. Learn to maintain eye contact during a conversation.

You can detect the mood and the emotions of a person by looking into their eyes. Babies look into their parent’s eyes in order to understand their emotions starting at the age of 9 months. And liars usually look away, in order to hide the fact that they are lying.

When someone avoids eye contact, it means that they are not self-confident. So, maintaining eye contact with people will help you to win their trust and convince them that you are honest.

4. Keep your back straight and change the way you walk.

A straight back, open gestures, and a confident walk — these are all signs of a confident person.

So, keep your head raised, keep your back straight, and look up, instead of down. People around you will notice this and you will soon see that you feel different. Research shows that the body language of a confident person decreases their level of stress.

5. Exclude negative thoughts.

Controlling your internal dialogue is a difficult but very effective way to discipline yourself. Try to track all the thoughts you have for a week. And write down everything that is connected with being insecure. Ask yourself this question, “Do I have any evidence that I have a real reason to be insecure?” After you analyze your thoughts, you will realize that most of them are based on nothing.

As you’re analyzing the negative you should also make a list of your positive qualities and achievements. You can read it every time you have a negative idea in your mind.

6. Notice the moment when you stop believing in yourself.

If you keep track of the bad thoughts, you will soon notice that they appear in your mind at pretty much the same time. Maybe you’ve had a wonderful day but before you go to sleep you start thinking about something bad.

Just try to ignore these thoughts and just consider them something you do every day for no reason.

7. Mark your achievements

Make a diary of your achievements and write down new things every day. And don’t just write down the really big things. Mark every step toward your goal, even if it seems small. For example, “had oatmeal for breakfast,” “read 20 pages of my book,” and so on.

When you have multiple reasons to be proud of yourself, this will help to improve your confidence.

8. Think about the ideal “you.”

“What would a confident ‘me’ do in this situation?” This is a great question you should ask yourself from time to time. Especially when you are going to do something that takes confidence.

You don’t need to go out and start talking to the most attractive man in the street. Start small: smile at a stranger. Send out your CV. And don’t worry about the consequences. Being ready to take both risks and responsibility is what every confident person needs to be able to do.

9. Talk to strangers.

Go to an event where you don’t know anybody and try to play the role of a confident person. You don’t need to be the star right away — this is difficult to do when you are surrounded by strangers. But you will feel more confident later.

Aside from that, try to start conversations with strangers in your everyday life. Be friendly with cashiers or talk to a waiter in a cafe. Remember, this might not work for everyone. If you feel really uncomfortable when talking to someone, you should stop the experiment.

10. Offer your help.

People like to feel important and valuable. It is extremely comforting to know that you have someone to watch your back. Everyone should have someone they can rely on, but few people will actually ask for help or offer it.

Offering help to others makes you feel important and useful and will help you to not feel insecure or lonely.

11. Don’t waste your time on social media.

Don’t look at photos of people you know and compare them to yourself. This habit may seriously damage your self-esteem. Social media is where people compete at being successful. People only post beautiful pictures from amazing places. And there are very few people who take selfies at home while wearing their regular clothes and doing their regular chores.

Check your social media: unsubscribe from users who are constantly posting photos of themselves and let yourself take a break from this website or app.

What do you do to become a more confident person?