9 Types of Extremely Toxic People and 9 Ways to Deal With Them
People who we value and hold close may be holding us back in life with their negativity and manipulation. In fact, a study showed us that the people we surround ourselves with determine whether we succeed or fail. It couldn’t be more important to have supportive and encouraging friends in our life. However, there are ways to deal with these people that’ll help you to flourish in life.
Bright Side wants to help you to cope with various types of difficult people in your life with some essential tips for calling them out and watching out for yourself.
1. Drama queens
Drama queens are the kind of people who draw you into their problems and melodramas by asking you for your help. The more you help them, you may start to notice that their issues are never-ending and that it’s simply their way of life.
To stop becoming an audience to their dramas, you simply need to set boundaries. This can mean becoming less available, meeting less often, or even voicing that you don’t want to help them this time. By avoiding asking them how they feel and not rewarding their drama, you can set up a healthier relationship with them. Sometimes distance is often needed for your own health.
2. People who never appreciate your effort
It can happen that no matter how hard we work or how hard we try, we just can’t please some people. This may be a partner, a friend, or a boss. When this keeps on happening it is useful to ask yourself some important questions and to make a few changes in your attitude.
Start by asking yourself why you want to please them. If you discover it’s out of a fear of rejection rather than because it’s something that you enjoy, then it’s best to start saying no. Learning to say no will help you to speak up for what you want and get you out of a cycle of agreeing to do something that won’t be appreciated in the end.
This is the kind of person who is always negative, criticizing you and your dreams. You probably feel that these people don’t take you seriously because they are always questioning your choices and abilities.
You can deal with them by steering them away from giving their (unwanted) advice. You can tell them that you are not looking for their ideas, and when they do, you should answer their objections and negativity. This can be done by showing them that they are wrong and that you have done your research. You may even find that you need to cut them out of your life if they become too toxic.
4. The manipulator
These people are only interested in themselves and will use an imbalance of power to make sure that they get what they want. This can be done in many ways, from guilt-tripping you into doing something for them to actually threatening you in some form.
Therefore, they can be dangerous and damaging people to be around. It is important for you to remember that you are not the problem, they are simply being unreasonable. You can remind them of this by asking them probing questions like, “Does that sound reasonable to you?”. You may also find that they put you on the spot, but you can take your time by saying “I will think about it.”
5. The people who think you should be someone else
Maybe it’s a parent, a close friend, or someone you consider a close friend, but whoever it is you should ignore their opinions. They can make you feel inadequate and guilty for being true to yourself, and lying to others about who you truly are can be upsetting and exhausting.
Instead, let them decide if they want to accept you for who you are. You do not need to please them by being someone you are not. This may even mean letting them walk away if they choose to.
6. Unforgiving friends
This is the kind of friend who constantly brings up your past mistakes and failures. This unforgiveness of your past can mean that you live in perpetual guilt for something that has already happened and cannot be changed.
The first step to deal with such people is to start to forgive yourself and try some self-love. This can help you to heal from your past mistakes as well as give you the space to accept them and move on with your life. You can start to improve yourself to make sure that you don’t make these mistakes again by learning from the past, not living in it.
We all have a friend who is a helpless gossip and simply cannot keep a secret. While sometimes this can be harmless and innocent, it can also be a sign of a toxic friend. If they are badmouthing other people and their secrets to you, then it is likely that they are doing the same behind your back.
If you believe this may be happening, then simply stop sharing your personal details and secrets with them. You may find that they try hard to get a good story out of you by drawing you in with other people’s stories, but hold your ground and don’t over-share.
8. Toxic liars
The more you get to know some people you may start to understand that they cannot help lying. It can be anything from the smallest stories or comments to full-blown lies about their life. However, when you pick up on the fact that something isn’t right, you will start to understand when they are lying.
You can deal with them by pointing out their lies to them by tripping them up when they make a mistake. With all of their lies, it is difficult for them to maintain their stories and they will eventually start contradicting themselves. Point these inconsistencies out to them to let them know that you found their lie.
9. Self pitiers
Toxic people will often use pity to gain control by blaming others for their own issues and mistakes. As long as there is someone willing to listen they will talk about their problems without taking responsibility for their own actions.
You can handle them by setting up a personal boundary with them to stop the negative and draining impact they may be having on your life. This may mean that you stop listening to them and feeding their self-pity, or that you tell them how it is affecting you and limiting your time together.
Have you ever come across a very toxic person? What ways did you use to cope with them?