15 Dating Nightmares That Are Almost Too Awful to Be True

Love is in the air... until it crashes and burns. We’ve all been on those dates that started like a scene from a romantic movie: the butterflies, the perfect playlist, maybe even a window table at that trendy café. But sometimes, instead of a happily ever after, you get a “what just happened?” moment that you’ll never forget (no matter how hard you try).

Here are 10 romantic encounters that seemed promising initially but ended up as cautionary tales worthy of their own horror film.

• When I was at university, I was invited to a rink with a girl I liked and some of her friends. I didn’t know how to skate, and I wasn’t very fast, but I wanted to try and impress her somehow. Well, I hugged the wall all the time and made a fool of myself. The highlight was when I saw a flash of light as I fell in front of a group of people. It turned out that I had fallen just as someone was taking a picture, so my failure was immortalised forever. She took me back to my flat and ended the relationship before it began.
  On a lighter note, the woman who is now my wife was at the rink that night. We didn’t realise we were there at the same time until a year or two into our relationship, and she exclaimed, “You were that guy who couldn’t skate! Yeah, she didn’t seem that into you.” @Krell47 / Reddit
• My first date with a boy in high school. He borrowed his parents’ car to pick me up and hit my neighbour’s car as he was pulling out of my driveway. We spent the whole date waiting for the police to show up so he could file a report.
  I married him. 😂🤷‍♀️ @Unknown / Reddit
• I was once a “phone a friend” for a guy I knew who was on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. He asked me out before the question, and I said yes, because who would turn down a guy who asked you out on TV? I got the question wrong, and he lost, and I still had to go out to dinner with him afterward. Worst date ever. @TheNFernandes / Reddit

• There was the guy who said he didn’t have kids (my online dating profile made it clear that I didn’t and didn’t want to) and then, halfway through dinner, dropped into conversation that he did have kids, but “it’s OK because I don’t see them often.” Dude! That’s worse!
  Oh, and the guy who spent the whole time comparing me to his ex-wife. At the end of the drink, I wanted to ask for her number to congratulate her on getting rid of that fool. @liseusester / Reddit
• Went on a blind date with a lady who wouldn’t stop picking at her scabs. Just made a pile of them on the restaurant table. I excused myself to go to the toilet, and when I came back, my soup was there, but the pile of scabs wasn’t. No, I didn’t eat the soup. @sarin77 / Reddit
• Went on a first date with a guy to a Japanese place. I wasn’t comfortable using chopsticks and asked the boy if I should just get a fork. He tells me it’s embarrassing when people ask for a fork instead of chopsticks. So I soldier on — navigating these chopsticks — and go to pick up a piece of sushi and accidentally flick a piece of wasabi. I watch in slow motion as the large piece of wasabi hits him right in the eyeball.
  He spends the rest of the date washing his eye in the toilet. I felt so bad that I paid for the entire meal after we tried to get through the last part of the date with him clutching his eyeball like an angry pirate. Needless to say, he did not contact me for a second date. @throwtheflames123 / Reddit

• We spent most of the date shopping for clothes for another date she had later that week.
  It’s kind of funny because she was the one who asked me out. @Unknown / Reddit
• I went out on a date with a girl from OkCupid. It was late (around 9 pm), and she sent me a message out of the blue. We talked for a while, and she wanted to meet for dinner. I hadn’t eaten yet, so I agreed. We were to meet at a local diner.
  She went with her friend (a 16-year-old; I was 22; she was 20). To make matters worse, her friend had brought her toddler. Oh, and her friend had brought another friend. So here I am with 3 girls and a toddler I don’t know.
  All three girls had brought Monster Energy with them into the restaurant. We sat down at the table, and it just went downhill from there. The toddler ran out of juice in her sippy cup, so the mum filled it with Monster. She then let the toddler play with the sugar container (one of those “shaker” style ones — a big cylinder with a little flapping thing). She promptly poured sugar all over the table and started licking it up. Meanwhile, all the girls are laughing at the toddler and having a great time. They talked to each other and didn’t even try to include me in the conversation. After about 5 minutes of ignoring me, they started talking about boys from high school.
  Long story short, I ate half a chicken sandwich, excused myself, apologised to the hostess/waitress for the mess and the awful people, left $50, and walked out. @go_so_loud / Reddit

• I had a very disappointing date in secondary school. It was in the middle of winter. Like — 40 Celsius. We went to the cinema and it was awkward. She didn’t seem to want to be there and was very distant. After the film and the bus ride home, she admitted that she had only agreed to go out with me because my friend had turned her down a few days before (I didn’t know that at the time). But I figured, who cares, I’ll go home and find something else to do, I’ll get over it eventually. I got off the bus and just wanted to get home as quickly as possible. At the bus stop, there is a thigh-high railing around the front of the nearby car park. Instead of walking around it, I decided to step on it and then over it. As soon as I stepped on it, I realised it was covered in ice. I just flew through the air. Lost everything in my pockets. Ripped my trousers. And then came down hard on the railing with my shin and broke it. It’s still −40 outside. I can’t just lie there until help comes. So I fish around in the snow, grab my stuff, try to get into my trousers again, and stagger home. @ProtoJazz / Reddit
• He sat on my lap and farted because he didn’t want it to make any noise. Then he announced that he had forgotten his wallet when the bill came and ran out of the restaurant. @Unknown / Reddit
• I met a guy on Bumble whose profile said he worked in engineering Monday to Friday but was a beauty and wellness entrepreneur on the weekends. We decided to meet for a “date” at 11 am at Starbucks. I told him I wasn’t a morning person and wanted to move the date to 11.30 instead, but he refused, insisting on 11 am. Fine, I turned up a bit late for our date at 11.15 am, but he turned up at noon with a mini suitcase he said was for his entrepreneurial job later- no apologies, nothing, just said there was a traffic jam. When we sat down and started chatting, he very cleverly turned the conversation to his MLM sales and tried to get me to attend his seminar that was happening right after our “date”. I blocked and reported his profile after I left. @ajowanhykemain / Reddit

• I went on an online date with this guy when I first moved back home from college. We met up, and I have a habit of telling my parents, “I’m going out, I’ll be back later,” without any details, etc. Anyway, this time my mom said “just be careful and if he can’t drive, get out of the car”.
  We went to our first destination, and it was closed. So he asked me where I wanted to go, and I said, “Hooters and bowling.” His driving was so reckless... I mean, REALLY bad. Anyway, we ended up driving across town because he wanted to take me to this one place. By this time, I’ve decided that I’m not into him and I want out, so I just go along with it. Maybe we can be friends, right?
  His brakes gave out, and we ended up in an accident. We hit the back of a truck pretty hard, and I jerk forward, and my glasses fly off. After the smoke clears, when I’m nervous, I start laughing. He asks me if I’m okay, I say sure, and I look for my glasses, and he says, “Oh, that’s bad, that’s bad.” So I said, “Why? No insurance?” He says, “No, I have a warrant for my arrest,” and he gets out of the car and runs. As he’s running off into the sunset, he’s yelling back at me, “I’m sorry, I can’t afford to go to jail again.”
  The person we hit walks away. So I’m the only one there, and the police show up. I had to call my parents to come pick me up because I have no friends in the area, and of course, I gave the cops his info. I knew I wouldn’t be able to talk to him again. The police took me to a gas station across the street while I waited for someone to pick me up. I sat back, took a picture in the police car, posted it on Facebook, and tagged him in the picture. Somewhere in the middle of running, he found time to get on Facebook and block me.
  The bad part wasn’t just the accident, I didn’t even get a chance to enjoy Hooters and wings. @filmpster / Reddit

• We went to meet at a restaurant that was more convenient for him than for me. When I got there, he told me to go in and sit at the table he’d reserved under his name. When I walked in, the table wasn’t full, but luckily, they had a free table. I sat by myself before he came in 20 minutes late, saying he’d crashed into a car in the parking lot.
  Dinner was awkward; hardly any conversation. When the check came, he just slid it over to my side of the table, got up, and left. So I paid the bill and walked to my car, already dissatisfied. AND GUESS WHAT? The jerk had smashed MY car in the parking lot. Of course, by the time I realized, he’d blocked me on all the social networking sites, and I only remembered his first name so the police wouldn’t do anything.
  So that was an expensive night for literally no reward. @ragnarsmoop / Reddit
• We went to the movies in the morning and were the only ones in the theater. He stole 650 straws from the concession stand and tied them all together during the movie until they were long enough to reach the screen. We went out about two more times after that, but he started getting creepy, so I broke it off. @tsim12345 / Reddit
• She was allergic to something I ate, and when I went to kiss her, her lips swelled up, and she went into anaphylactic shock. I took her to the hospital, but I couldn’t stop laughing because it was so embarrassing. She looked so ridiculous, and I’d been so nervous up to that point that I started giggling. I didn’t see her again. @lazytoxer / Reddit

Dating is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright embarrassing. But hey, at least it makes for a good story later. If you’ve survived a date from Disaster City, remember: you’re not alone, and somewhere out there, someone is probably having a worse night than you.

Ready for some more epic love failures? You won’t want to miss this article. Because if misery loves company, awkward dates love hilarious stories.