8 Things That Parents Have Difficulty Telling Their Kids

Family & kids
2 years ago

About 69% of parents are not willing to talk to their kids about their money situation, a study found. And about 61% of parents had the discussion, but only when their kids asked a question about their finances. This might come from a place of fear, where parents don’t want their kids to worry. Whatever the reasons are, stay tuned to find out what other things parents have trouble explaining to their kids.

Bright Side collected 8 complex things that parents have a hard time discussing with their children.

1. Explaining that Santa Clause doesn’t exist

“The older 2 gradually came to the realization, and I quietly told them that they are now on the other side of the magic of Santa. My youngest had a full-on cry right after Christmas when they were 8. ’Just tell me the truth!! I need to know,’ and so I did. And they also liked the idea of being on the making magic happen side of things.” Joiedeme / Reddit

“My wife and I have not told our kids the truth about Santa yet, but we don’t give him credit for everything, just a few things. They’re still pretty young but seem to get a lot of fun out of believing in the fantasy. Magic is still real to them, and I have great memories of believing in that stuff when I was little and want the same for them.” ionsquare / Reddit

2. That they may be having money problems

“My parents sheltered me from their finances so I wouldn’t worry. Meanwhile, my husband’s parents shared almost everything with him. And while it stressed him out as a kid, he ended up teaching me the value of things, what typical salaries are, and more once we graduated high school.” runningpretty / Reddit

“You have to help young children understand that money comes from working and we have to spend it on things like housing, food, medical care, and fun stuff. This can put basic financial awareness in their heads. I was aware by age 7 that my parents could hardly pay our mortgage. I had a huge weight on my shoulders from a very young age.” MusicalTourettes / Reddit

3. Not having an answer to every question

“When I was like, 5, and I asked my parents if they could explain to me how pi works, they said they didn’t know. I made it my personal mission to get really hard questions to ask them every week and when they couldn’t answer a lot of them, I knew that they didn’t know everything.” Alex L M Grey / Quora

“I started realizing it pretty young, I want to say 9 or 10 years old. I noticed my parents would get frustrated with simple elementary school homework. I didn’t fully realize it until I was 12-14 years old, when my mom would ask me questions about things or subjects she didn’t know much about.” Christina Agosto / Quora

4. Saying that you can’t be anything you want in life

“I phrased it differently. I told my son he had the opportunity to be anything he wanted. That isn’t the same as saying anything he ’can be.’ I wanted him to understand he would have to apply himself and need the capability to achieve certain things, but it was all possible.” Raum Bances / Quora

“I told mine that they could become whatever they wanted to become if they tried hard enough to reach that goal. However, it is a good thing to tell them that some people have special talents for some things, such as art, music, and sports. Because of this, they should spend time searching for things they liked and then forge ahead.” Lillian Taylor / Quora

5. Being terrified while their kids are growing up

I am scared that I will die before I get to see my kids grow into adults. My dad died when I was 18 and the men in my family are not built to last. I want to have conversations with them about deep subjects and see them graduate from college or meet the love of their life. I know I might not do anything like that and it scares the h*** out of me.” d***ys***id / Reddit

“For me, it’s that an accident will render a child disabled and dependent on me for life. I’ve seen firsthand the dedication that’s required to take care of a person under certain conditions. I’m not sure I could survive under those conditions.” BKStephens / Reddit

6. That they didn’t really like you as an infant

“I really didn’t like either one of them until they were about 2. I mean, they were cute, adorable little babies but I really just don’t like infants. They’ll never know because it sounds bad to say, ’Yo, you were really terrible for a while.’” bigsie / Reddit

“My dad was like this. He’s the best guy in the world but he hated tiny children, like, ’What do I do with this thing?’ Good thing he didn’t marry a woman with 6 kids, ages 0-9, and then have 5 more with her. Oh, wait...” Porridgeandpeas / Reddit

7. Revealing you were adopted

“Literally, from the second we adopted our kids, we began talking about adoption. Why? Because the sooner you start, the easier it is to get comfortable with the conversation and the terminology. When my older daughter was an infant, I’d say, ’We are so glad we adopted you. You are the best thing that ever happened to us.’”

“When the girls were small, we read plenty of children’s stories about adoption and hoped they got comfortable with their own stories. Over the years, we answered their questions as they came up, simply and at each stage. Lies, half-truths, and secrets set everyone in the family up for distrust, grief, and anger. So I opt for honesty.”

8. Hiding their health problems from you

They don’t want their children to be frightened, which is the most common emotion when someone young is told that they may lose a parent. The child isn’t worrying about hospital bills, how to arrange a funeral, or who will take care of them, as an adult would be. They are simply frightened and very sad.

I remember being devastated at age 16 when I knew my grandmother was going to pass after a stroke. I didn’t know how to handle it at all. I also felt guilty for avoiding visiting her in the hospital — I couldn’t stand to see her like that. Imagine what this would do to a younger child if it was their mother or father.” Sharon Talbot / Quora

What was the hardest thing your parents had to tell you? Or what’s the most difficult thing you’ve had to tell your kids?


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funny because my parents told me from the very beginning that there is no Santa


If you have to tell your child something difficult, tell it to them as soon as possible in a child friendly manner. For example, if a child is adopted tell them when it comes first about having a child: "There are many ways to have a child. They grow in the bellies of a women, but not in the bellies of a man. One don’t have to be in somebody’s belly for them to be your parents." And then only answer the questions they are currently asking. Next time it comes to this do similar. Tell them what adoption means, and tell them they’re adopted without making a big deal of it.

So it will not be this shocking "we have to tell you something and don’t forget: we love you" thing.

I had to tell my daughter something difficult and I told her when she was about 3 just like it’s an average thing - and so it was to her nothing special. When she was 12 her father (we are not living together) was like „maybe we should tell her… I just don’t know how". I calmly told him: she knows it for ages.


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