Becoming a mother after 40 is a high risk, doctors claim. One of the possible outcomes of giving birth after 40 is a high risk of the baby having Down syndrome. Michele Elizaga is a single-by-choice mom who chose to conceive after 40, and now, despite all the difficulties in her way, she thinks that her son Matthew is a present that’s been given to her by destiny.
Here at Bright Side, we couldn’t stay indifferent after hearing Michele’s story, and we’d love for you to find out more about her path to becoming a single mom who’s raising a son with Down syndrome on her own.
Turning 40 was a fateful moment in Michele’s life.
The decision to become a single mom literally happened in the wink of an eye for Michele. The year that she turned 40, she sensed something epic was on the horizon. But having a baby never crossed her mind because she was still focused on meeting someone as she’d never gotten married and had been single for a significant while. It was her friend who blindsided her with the idea, and since then, Michele became obsessed with the idea of becoming a mother.
The way to motherhood started with a challenge.
Once she decided to become a mother, Michele had so many questions swirling in her head of how she would do it. But she just kept taking the next steps and soon she had a successful first IUI (intrauterine insemination), where the odds initially were not in her favor. But this turned out to be a super simple procedure that took less than 10 minutes, and then she was sent home with a date to take an at-home pregnancy test on.
Soon, Michele was happily embracing her newborn son, Matthew. She had an emergency C-section and was under general anesthesia, so she met her son 5 hours after giving birth. Doctors said Matthew had Down syndrome, and Michele accepted the news positively. She is convinced that Matthew chose to be her son for a reason, and he deserves to have the best mom.
The woman was afraid of how her parents would react to her pregnancy.
When Michele found out she was pregnant, the first people she wanted to share the news with were her parents. They had no idea what she was trying to do, so this was going to be a really tough conversation, and she was afraid of their reaction.
At first, they were shocked, but once they got used to the thought of their daughter becoming a single mom by choice, they were happy for her. And from there, Michele felt confident enough to tell her sisters and then her best friends, and she made many phone calls to share the news.
Unfortunately, Michele recently lost her dad, and he was her biggest supporter. He loved Matthew deeply and was his biggest fan.
The difficulties of single motherhood don’t stop Michele from being active.
Matthew is now almost 5 months old. His mom had to go back to working full-time after being home with him for just one month. But she confesses that she’s never been so physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, but at the same time, she’s never felt more empowered and whole.
Michele loves hiking and, unfortunately, she has not been able to do it as much since Matthew was born. But she’s slowly figuring out how to integrate it back into her life and recently purchased a hiking carrier for Matthew so she can get him out on the trails with her.
Michele plans to try a paddleboard activity when Matthew gets a little older and spends “bestie dates” with her friends. The mom gets tremendous help from her younger sister and this helps her stay active all the time.
Michele has something to say to all women.
Coming through all the ups and downs of single motherhood, Michele has her own philosophy of happiness. Following her heart, living life without regret, and being in relationships where she is fully loved and seen are the rules she stands by.
As a solo parent, all financial burdens and big decisions rest on her shoulders, but she’s never afraid to ask for help with watching Matthew. She loves to write and often shares posts on Instagram, and this is quite therapeutic for her. She also asks other moms for insight when she’s making big decisions.
Would you consider becoming a single parent by choice? What are the things that you would find most difficult about being a single mom or dad?
