A Psychologist Explains That the Type of Men Women Choose Is Often Influenced by Their Fathers

The relationship between each father and daughter is unique. Good or bad, the link will always be there. What grabs the attention of psychologists is how all fathers, both present and absent, have an impact on their daughters’ upbringing. Parenting involves behaviors, mechanisms, and thoughts that unconsciously develop in children as they become adults. And finally, they end up having an impact on the complex decision of choosing a partner.

Bright Side wants to tell you how the type of father you had may contribute to who you select as a significant other.

Parents establish modes of conduct.

In her book, Between Fathers and Daughters: Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult Relationship, psychologist Linda Nielsen shares the value of a father’s presence in the life of a child. Nielsen attempts to demonstrate how parents influence their daughters’ decisions in matters like her career, personal taste, and academic performance.

She specifically underlines how the presence or absence of a father can condition the choices that his daughter will make in the future about her romantic relationships.

Present fathers mean more confident daughters.

Nielsen explains that a father who’s present and fosters a tender and safe relationship with his daughter influences her to look for an intimate and faithful partner. One of the most common features in women of affectionate parents is determination when making their decisions. And with that comes self-confidence. There’s no fear of expressing opinions or rejecting bad candidates.

Paternal love can prevent one from making bad decisions.

A girl can perceive her dad’s love from an early age, so when she grows up, she’ll want to look for a stable relationship that inspires peace. Paternal closeness can unconsciously help adolescents make fewer mistakes when choosing a partner. Girls tend to be more confident around boys and won’t let anyone take advantage of their young age. They don’t seek to have multiple partners — in fact, they strive for the opposite.

Absent fathers mean more unstable daughters.

On the other hand, the absence of a father has a negative effect on a girl’s character. Those with a weak and unstable relationship with their dads are more likely to choose a partner that drives them to more confrontations. Lack of security and confidence can lead them to feel more attacked by their beliefs. Therefore, they end up getting involved in relationships where they perceive themselves as inferior.

Being dissatisfied becomes usual.

Nielsen describes how fathers influence their daughters’ relationships using an interesting and useful metaphor to understand the idea more clearly. To have a healthy paternal attachment is like going to the market on a full stomach. You pick your purchases with more patience and choose healthier options.

On the other hand, a poor paternal connection is like going to the market on an empty stomach. You buy the first thing that tempts you, regardless of whether it’s good for your body or not.

Do you think your father influences your choice of romantic partners? Do you know of other factors that can impact your love life? Tell us in the comment section!

Please note: This article was updated in June 2022 to correct source material and factual inaccuracies.


The same goes for men and their mums and the type of women they choose. It's basically common knowledge. I'm surprised an expert was needed to tell people this?

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