My Husband’s Dark Secret Was Revealed During a Family Dinner, He Kept It From Me for 20 Years

Family & kids
4 weeks ago

Sarah, 39, has always been proud of her almost ideal marriage. The woman's life took an even more amazing turn when her husband got a dream job and the family moved to a better place to live in. But just one small observation, made by the couple's little daughter, turned the life of the whole family upside down. Sarah wrote us a letter and asked our readers to deliver their sincere opinions about her problem.

Sarah and Alan had never had any serious problems and trust issues.

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Sarah, 39, shared her mind-boggling story with us. Before we read her letter, we used to think that cases like Sarah's could happen only in dramatic movies and books. But her situation appeared to be a living proof that life may sometimes be a crazy scriptwriter, and some people's stories may make any fictional writer envy.

Sarah opened her letter, saying, "Hi, Bright Side! I am writing to you to tell my story, and I still can't believe that this has been happening to my family. My husband, Alan, and I have known each other since we both were 13 years old. We started dating when we were 18 and got married at 19. I sincerely thought that I knew everything about my husband. We've been married for 20 years now, and we have always been more like a husband and a wife, we've been soulmates for one another."

"We've never had any trust issues, and telling the truth and nothing but the truth has been the golden rule of our family during all these years. I sincerely thought that my family had always been a model to follow. But I have huge doubts now."

Sarah had a vague idea about Alan’s family.

Sarah goes on with her story, saying, "Alan and I have an 8-year-old daughter, Lily. She's been growing up surrounded by love and care, but there has always been one thing that spoiled our almost idyllic family picture."

"Lily has always been asking me and her dad about her grandmother and grandfather. She saw how almost all her friends had two sets of grandparents and were getting a double portion of love, while she knew only her grandparents from my side. She met Alan's parents, her paternal grandparents, only once or twice, when she was 2 years old, and since then, her dad avoided even mentioning them in her presence, let alone meeting them."

Sarah wrote, "I myself met Alan's parents only a couple of times during our dating and then marriage. I knew that Alan had some very tough relationship with his mom and dad, but he never spoke about the reasons for this estrangement, and I respected his privacy and never insisted on him telling me anything about their intricate relationship."

An observation from Lily lifted the veil of secrecy for Sarah.

Sarah goes on with her story, saying, "We recently moved to a new city because of my husband's new job. Our 8-year-old daughter, Lily, was telling us about her 1st day at a new school. I asked her about her new teacher, and my kid said, 'She's so cool, and daddy has a picture of her in his wallet.'
Hearing that, my husband choked on his tea and went very pale. 'What? Which picture?' he said, coughing heavily. Lily chirped, 'My Math teacher, Ms Roberts, you keep her photo in your wallet, daddy, I saw it!'"

Sarah wrote, "The situation was awkward, and I had a clear feeling that something was very, very wrong. But I tried to remain calm, and I said, 'Can you show it to us after dinner, darling?'
Dinner was a mess. I kept glancing at my spouse, who was obviously very nervous. Afterward, we followed Lily to Alan's study. My daughter took Alan's wallet from his drawer. There was a photo in it, and it showed a woman with extremely kind eyes and a very familiar dimple."

Alan’s dark and painful secret was finally revealed.

Sarah wrote, "I waited for Lily to leave for her music class, and confronted Alan about the situation with the new teacher and that photo. After an hour of denial, my husband finally told me the truth.
Turned out, Alan's parents weren't his bio mom and dad, he was adopted at the age of 3. After he was adopted, he lost his little sister, Janett. Alan and Janett were separated. My husband was adopted and taken to Chicago, and he never saw his sister Janet again."

"Alan found Janett 3 years ago, and he opened up to her about who he was and that she was actually his sister. They had an immensely strong bond from the day one when they finally met, and Alan spent a lot of time and effort to get a promotion at work and to move closer to where Janett lived and worked, just to make sure they stay close enough to each other."

Sarah wrote, "I know that I should be happy for my spouse, but I feel empty and betrayed. Alan didn't tell me a single word about his family story, I didn't know that he was adopted, and I never even suspected that he had a sister. I feel like I'm stealing his joy by being offended about his secrecy, but I just can't overcome that disgusting feeling of being humiliated and deceived.
I feel like I'm not special enough for Alan, because he'd been keeping this secret from me for 20 years of our marriage. What should I do about this situation and my feelings because of it?"

And here's yet another woman, whose shocking revelation came during an ordinary dinner with her MIL. A conversation between the woman and her husband's mother turned into the creepiest experience that could hardly be forgotten now.

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You need to understand that your husband suffered a trauma when he lost his sister, he blamed his adopted parents for taking him away. When he was old enough he found his sister, he felt some relief but his inner child told him to protect her so she doesn't disappear again. You as his wife need to help him feel comfortable to talk about his feelings. Now you know why he is distant from his parents. Allow him time to grieve his childhood, have him speak to a mental health specialist

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