How to Poop Gracefully on a Date and What to Do If You Clogged a Toilet in Someone Else’s House

Toilets are funny things. When they’re clean, functional, and readily available, we hardly give them a second thought. But the moment we’re without one, they become an all-consuming obsession. And when you need to poop while you're on a date, a toilet instantly becomes The Most Important Thing in Your Life.

But the worst of nightmares is probably when you’re using someone else’s toilet, and then it clogs and backs up, so panic can quickly overwhelm you. No need to be afraid, we're here to help you with a piece of advice on how to poop elegantly on a date and how to unclog a toilet without a plunger.

How long should you date before you defecate? There's a survey.

Nope, those aren’t butterflies in your stomach.

Maybe it’s the first date, the early stages of a new relationship, or perhaps you’re past the honeymoon phase but not quite into the "Did-you-just-do-that-in-there?" territory.

Whatever the case, the question quietly creeping into your mind (aside from that other, ahem, obvious one) is this: When is it okay to break the bathroom barrier with your partner?

Curious about the etiquette, one company decided to ask the hard-hitting questions:

• How long until you’re comfortable using the bathroom at your partner’s place?
• How long should they wait before doing the same at yours?
• Would you ever feel at ease going to the bathroom (#1 or #2) in front of your significant other?

To uncover the answers, a SurveyMonkey poll was used, and there were some intriguing results.

Turns out, poop shame is real.

The survey revealed that when it comes to bathroom boundaries, men and women have distinctly different comfort levels.

In response to the questions about when it’s acceptable to poop at a partner’s house, 22% of men said they’d be fine doing so on the first date, while 30% thought it was acceptable for their partner to do the same. In contrast, only 11% of women felt comfortable pooping at their partner’s house on a first date, and 13% were okay with their partner doing so.

The disparity continues during the early months of a relationship. 41% of men reported feeling comfortable pooping at their partner’s place within the first one to three months, compared to 35% of women.

Women, however, tend to hold it in—literally—for much longer. A significant 54% of women said they wait over four months before feeling at ease pooping at their partner’s home.

Here's a practical advice on how to poop while on a date, without killing the romance.

For some, the idea of pooping outside the comfort of their own home is a no-go—thanks to an irrationally shy bladder (or bowel). And one of their worst nightmares? Clogging the toilet at their date’s place. But fear not! If nature calls during a date, here’s how to handle it like a pro and avoid any mortifying moments in front of your romantic interest.

If you must poop on site, holding it in is no longer an option for you. While the thought of handling this in public might sound stressful, it’s actually far less daunting than dealing with it at someone’s home. The key? Locate a public restroom you can slip into discreetly. Make sure your date doesn’t follow you or linger nearby—easier said than done, but achievable if you’re quick and casual enough to keep them from wondering too much about your sudden detour.

The worst case scenario is if you’re in their home. So, the basic things you need to do are:

1. Before committing to the act, make sure the toilet is in proper working order. Give it a quick, experimental flush to confirm everything’s functioning as it should.
2. Run the sink and switch on the bathroom fan to mask any sounds while you take care of business.
3. Make sure the toilet isn’t overwhelmed by a load it can’t handle. Flush as needed during the process to avoid any disasters. Sure, your date might hear multiple flushes, but that’s far less embarrassing than dealing with a clog that refuses to go down.
4. Wait for your date to use the bathroom first—it buys you some time and lowers the chances of immediate follow-up scrutiny. After you’ve gone, do everything you can to let your actions settle unnoticed. Engage your date in a wildly compelling conversation, suggest an impromptu game, or cozy up for a snuggle on the couch. Offer to help prepare dinner or tidy up the dishes—anything to distract and delay.

And here comes the nightmare: what if you accidentally clogged the toilet in your date's or anyone else's house?

How to unclog the toilet if there's no plunger in sight.

First things first: Stop flushing. Unclogging a toilet is one thing, but dealing with an overflow is an entirely different challenge. If the water level is rising uncomfortably close to the rim, immediately turn off the water supply. Locate the silver metal knob behind the toilet bowl and twist it to stop the flow.

Look for drain cleaner under the sink. Pour it in and allow it to sit for a few minutes to begin breaking down the clog.

If you have a plunger: Position the plunger securely over the drain hole, ensuring a proper seal. Use a firm up-and-down motion to create suction. Keep at it until you notice the water level beginning to shift—this indicates you’re making progress in clearing the clog.

If you're using someone else's toilet when it clogs and there's no plunger in sight, don't let that rising panic possess you. You can easily unclog the toilet using a simple garbage bag.

Here’s how it works:

1. Securely wrap plastic around the rim of the toilet, ensuring it forms a tight seal. Plastic wrap works best for achieving this, but if you only have a trash bag, pull it tight around the rim. To seal it, either tie the bag securely or use tape to attach it firmly to the bowl. Add multiple layers to ensure the covering is thick and durable enough to withstand pressure.

2. After securing a tight seal, press down in the center of the plastic covering the bowl using a plunging motion. Avoid applying excessive force to prevent any mishaps. It’s a good idea to wear gloves, just in case the seal breaks and your hands come into contact with the contents below. Repeat this motion several times as needed.

3. Flush the toilet.

You might need to repeat this a few times, but the pressure will eventually unclog whatever’s blocking your pipes. You can see this in action if you want, it really works!

And here's a gross reason why you should tie your hair up while going for a poop.