I Always Paid for My Wife’s Meals, but Tonight Was the Last Straw

In a story that sparked fierce debate, one husband took to Reddit to share his mounting frustration. His wife had a long-standing habit of going out to eat and never bringing her wallet.

“I usually go out with my wife about every Friday night,” he begins. “When we were dating, she very commonly forgot to bring her purse or money at all, so I would pay for her.”

Though this behavior continued for years, he said nothing, “I’ve been doing this for years, and I have reached my absolute limit. I’ve been frustrated paying for her before, but I never said anything, as I didn’t want her to think I was selfish.”

Things came to a head during a recent dinner with the OP’s wife and stepdaughter, “About a week ago, we decided to go eat at a family restaurant with my wife and stepdaughter. In the car, I asked her if she brought any money, and she said that she didn’t, so I told her to go into the house before we leave and bring some cash. She went in and claimed she brought her purse with cash inside.”

But when the check arrived, “My wife said she left her purse in the car.”

OP continued, “I asked her to go bring it and gave her the keys. To my surprise, she said it wasn’t in there. I went to check myself, and it’s really not there. She looks embarrassed at our table and asks her own daughter to pay for her meal. My stepdaughter was going to do it, but I told her to leave it as I would pay.”

He finally snapped, “I told my wife this was the last straw and that she was intentionally doing this. She denied my accusations and told me to keep it down, but the minute we got in the car, she scolded me for just not paying.”

The OP stood firm, “I responded with the fact that she 100% had the money to pay, as she worked a good job, and that this was ridiculous.”

The post drew sharp responses from Redditors.

• By your own words, you went from never saying anything to making a scene because your frustrations boiled over. You’ve gotta learn to communicate better than that if you want a marriage to work out.
  Also, nothing you said backs up your assertion that she is intentionally dodging the bill. © swarf / Reddit
• I have been married for 27 years, and for all of that time, my husband and I have just thrown all of our money into a joint account. I honestly don’t understand married couples who don’t have joint checking, even if they have their own savings, and even if they have other money. Why do you not have a joint account? © Trudie33 / Reddit

• If you had a problem with this thing she did frequently while you were dating, why did you marry her? Why go for public embarrassment instead of just talking to her? Way to address this in the most passive-aggressive way possible.
  Honestly, why are you even counting pennies like this with your wife? © Otherwise_Window / Reddit
• The wife can’t have the excuse of just having forgotten here, since he asked her to go get it before leaving, and she came back claiming she had it. So this means it was intentional and probably always was. So, while I agree with “who seriously counts pennies with their spouse,” who intentionally never takes money with them while going out to eat with their spouse? © Unknown author / Reddit

This story touches on some big things—money and respect. It also shows how small habits can slowly damage the whole relationship. Whether the OP overreacted or was right to speak up, one thing’s clear: some talks probably shouldn’t be put off for years.