I Charged My DIL for the Food Her Kids Ate

week ago

Family dynamics can get tricky, especially when childcare and in-laws are involved. One of our readers shared how her daughter-in-law’s constant requests for babysitting led to tension and blurred boundaries. What began as a simple favor quickly turned into a bigger issue, leaving the family divided and searching for a solution.

Jen

5 days ago

Oh, ellll no. I would have filed charges for the fraudulent use of my credit card. She needs to put her in her place like, yesterday.

Alexis Lewis

5 days ago

Donna I’m so sorry this is happening to you, I literally said a prayers while reading the comments! Gods going to handle it and when he does your DIL is in for a rude awakening! I just feel bad the kids have to be in the middle of this when they did nothing wrong, they’re kids, innocent kids.

Andreana A

5 days ago

If she can’t afford to pay for food for them then she needs to give them up, foster care, ex husband who ever can afford to take care of them.
Providing their food while you babysit for free is the very least she could do

Thank you, Donna, for sharing your story with us. Your daughter-in-law’s actions are certainly unexpected, and we hope the advice we’ve compiled will help you handle this situation while preserving a positive relationship with her.

Recognize her responsibilities as a parent.

Tony Nelson

4 days ago

Call the cops. Your son may get angry but she stepped over the line.

Start by acknowledging the challenges she faces as a mother of two. Let her know you admire her efforts in raising her children. This approach can open up a constructive conversation without making her feel defensive.

Collaborate on a clear childcare plan.

Suggest sitting down together to create a structured plan for babysitting. Outline expectations, including when and how often you can help, so both of you are on the same page. This can help prevent misunderstandings or unmet assumptions.

Discuss a fair grocery arrangement.

Propose splitting grocery costs for the kids during babysitting. This can be a shared budget, or she can bring food for the boys when they visit. Present it as a practical solution rather than a complaint, emphasizing teamwork.

Offer time together instead of full babysitting.

If full babysitting feels too demanding, suggest spending shorter, quality time with the kids instead. This way, you can bond with your grandkids without taking on the full responsibility of caregiving.

Prioritize family harmony over conflict.

Focus on maintaining a positive relationship with your daughter-in-law. Try to address the issue with empathy and understanding, aiming to build bridges rather than walls. A strong family bond will benefit everyone involved, including the kids.

“My MIL is retired and visits us a lot, often staying for the weekends,” wrote our reader. “I asked her to help by cooking for the kids while my husband and I work full-time. She refused, saying, ‘I’m a guest here!’ Frustrated, I told her she was no longer welcome in our home. Days later, my 10 y.o. called me in tears. I rushed home immediately and froze in disbelief: I found my children...” Click here to find out what happened.

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April Dancer

6 days ago

She took your credit card to pay you back for the groceries they ate. That's some twisted logic going on there.
As for your son, unfortunately, by the time you got to speak to him, she'd already told him 'her side of the story' and I just bet it involved tears, a hurt expression and acting worthy of an Oscar.

Kare Deter

6 days ago

Should have reported to police. Theft, identity theft etc.

Cynthia Gray

5 days ago

First off 👏👏👏 to you for even accepting her children. Alot of ppl won't and don't ! But , I do have an opinion that alot might not agree on. I currently am raising one of my grandchildren ! (( and might I add said child IS a bonus grandchild, not blood)) I get absolutely NO help in any way for her from her blood family or any other way ! My husband (her Papa) along with myself AND her step mom (my daughter) provide for her ! I could NEVER separate her from my other grandchildren because of her not being blood..... children do not ask to be got or to be brought into new families there for its NOT their faults that they are put into a new family situation. They just need as much normalization & positivity as possible. They've already had their world changed completely and should not be held accountable for their parent(s) actions. The DIL on the other hand SHOULD most definitely be held accountable for her actions ! That's completely wrong taking your credit card. I understand your feelings where the food situation is concerned, however ..... my feelings on that is if they're eating like that ... she SHOULD bring extra for them and if not then don't keep em for her. But, them babies should NEVER be treated any different than "blood" grandchildren because they didn't ask to be put into a new family ((key word***FAMILY***)) and it's not their fault their parent(s) are poor excuses for human beings !!!

Jjjj

Hi Donna. I really dislike that you're going through that and being disrespected and taken advantage of. First, I would say to stand strong in your conviction and firmly set your boundaries with your DIL and your son. The children shouldn't be blamed or suffer for the situation because they are the innocents in the situation, but as far as your DIL and son, I would make her pay back the money from her blatantly taking your property and still making you pay for the groceries you asked her to pay for. Secondly, I would most definitely make your son and DIL aware of how you feel and how that situation made you feel because of their disrespect and their nonchalant attitude of it. Their ovely-entitled behavior and attitude and expectancy of you to be completely responsible for things is "gas-lighting". You already help them by babysitting I'm assuming for free, but expecting you to take on the total loss and nit make them responsible and have any accountability and simple common courtesy and consideration and absolutely mind-boggling to me. I hope and pray that you will have the strength, fortitude, determination and conviction to tell them about themselves, how you feel about it, how their attitudes and behaviors made you feel, and their new responsibilities and how they need to be and should be accountable for what you're requesting that they start doing instead of putting all of their burdens on your shoulders to handle. If they have any issue with what you say and how you feel and continue to "gas-light" you, remove yourself from the situation and relieve yourself of the responsibilities they are trying to force on you and down your throat. They will hopefully realize their errors and strive to correct everything and move forward with you the right way and not how they want it and you to be.