I Closed My Doors to My Entitled In-Laws on the Weekend and I Don’t Regret It

Many newlyweds struggle with setting healthy boundaries with in-laws who visit too often. Balancing family relationships and couple time can be challenging, especially when communication breaks down. Learning how to deal with controlling or overbearing in-laws can strengthen your marriage and improve family harmony.

Hazel’s letter:

Hey Bright Side!

I just got married a few months ago, and honestly, it’s been exhausting. Between work, wedding aftermath, and trying to just exist as a newlywed, my husband and I barely get any time together.

The only time we really have for each other is on weekends. That’s like our time. But his parents? They show up every single weekend uninvited.

They don’t call ahead. They don’t text. They just appear at our door like they live in the neighborhood (they don’t, btw, they live 30 minutes away).

I’ve brought it up to my husband multiple times. I’ve said stuff like, “I love your family, but we need time for us.” His answer is always the same: “They’re just caring. You should be happy they want to see us.”

Okay, but I also want to see my husband without a running commentary from his mom about how I’m folding laundry wrong. So last Sunday, they showed up again, no warning.

I’d had enough. I set the table for two. Just me and him. His mom immediately noticed and asked if they should grab chairs.

I said, as politely as I could, that we didn’t plan for guests today. We just wanted to spend some time together. You know, since weekends are our only chance. But if you want, we can start visiting you every day instead.

They both looked shocked. Like I’d just slapped them. They mumbled something about coming back another time and left.

Now my husband’s pissed. He said I was cruel and that I embarrassed his parents. He wants me to apologize. I honestly don’t think I was rude, just firm. I’m tired of feeling like a guest in my own marriage.

What do you think, Bright Side? Was I actually out of line here, or is my husband just refusing to set boundaries?

Best,
Hazel

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Hazel! It really takes courage to open up about something so personal. We’ve gathered a few pieces of advice that might help you find some clarity and peace in this situation. Hopefully, something here gives you a bit of comfort or a new way to move forward.

• Don’t let guilt be the thing that runs your marriage — You can’t keep shrinking yourself just so no one gets offended. That’s not harmony, that’s self-abandonment. His parents might be “hurt” now, but they’ll get over it.
  You? You’re the one who has to live in that house every day, feeling resentful if nothing changes. Pick your peace over their comfort.
• You’re not the villain in your own story — Stop replaying that scene in your head wondering if you were “too much.” You weren’t. You were just the first person to say what everyone else was too polite to admit.
  Marriage is about building a new home, not recreating someone else’s. You set the tone. Don’t feel bad about that.
• You can be polite and still mean business — Firm doesn’t mean rude. You can smile and still say no.
  Next time they pop by, just say, “Ah, today’s not great for a visit, but we’d love to plan one next weekend!” Boom, polite boundary. You’re not rejecting them, you’re managing them. There’s a difference.

Setting boundaries with in-laws isn’t easy, but it’s a sign of growth, not conflict. With honest communication and mutual respect, couples can build stronger relationships and create a peaceful balance between family and personal time.

Read next: My MIL Moved in to Help With the Baby, but She’s Taking Over