I Don’t Want to Thank My Father for Gifting Me a Trip

It is sometimes complicated for stepsiblings to find common ground in blended families. There can be different reasons for it — fighting for attention, jealousy, and security. Parents always try to make their children closer, however it doesn’t always work out. Today we want to share one related story with you.

Recently, Bright Side received a message from Eva, she wasn’t satisfied with her trip because she had to travel with her relatives. Below is her e-mail.

Dear Eva, we have discussed your story with our Bright Side colleagues, and we want to tell you what we came up with.

• First of all, we are really sorry you had this experience. We feel your frustration, it’s a shame to go to a place you are thrilled about and have the experience fall way short of what you expected. Sometimes the success of a trip mostly depends on the people you take with you. Your bitterness toward your dad is more than understandable, you are not a spoiled child, but a person who has feelings.

• Try to explain this situation to your father. He should know that you were okay to give in when Anna wanted to go somewhere, but that Anna didn’t do the same for you. You were in equal positions, but they never gave you equal say in your plans. You really wanted this trip to be awesome, but it is not your fault that that didn’t happen.

• Your father probably told Jade that this was Anna’s trip and that’s why she always supported her ideas to go somewhere. Moreover, as you mentioned, you 2 are not as close as they are, so it’s clear why this all happened. Maybe she didn’t want to insult you or make you feel miserable, but she just had a different idea of what this trip should be and wanted to prioritize her sister’s wishes.

• Sometimes it happens that a parent who has children from different partners tries to force their kids to be closer, so they can have a bond. But this is not always a good idea, especially if the siblings themselves do not want this. So this situation happened not because Jade and Anna disliked you in some ways, you just simply don’t have many things in common and hence cannot build a true friendship, and that’s totally fine.

• It seems like Jade and Anna planned to go on this trip alone, but your dad pressured Jade to take you with them. So if your father still doesn’t want to agree with your point, try to talk with your mom. Explain the whole situation to her, we are sure that she will support you once she knows all the details.

Why do you think Jade’s father acted like this? And who is right in this situation?