I Excluded My Retired MIL From Our Family Vacation—We’re Not a Charity

For months, I looked forward to getting away with my husband and kids for some much-needed quality time. But when my retired MIL decided to join in, things got heated, and I decided not to include her on our trip. It may sound harsh, but I had my reasons for doing it and don’t feel guilty about it.

Hi Bright Side readers! I’m Annie, and I’d like to know if you think I am the villain in this story. My mother-in-law retired early without proper planning. She used to spend money carelessly—on family trips, frequent spa trips, etc. Now, she relies on my husband to cover her bills.

We’ve bailed her out more than once. And while I understand family support, this has gone too far. We have two kids, a mortgage, school fees, and our own future to think about. I didn’t want our vacation to turn into another rescue mission.

We Needed a Stress-Free Vacation But My MIL Invited Herself.

Vacations are meant for rest, not tension. Every time my MIL joins us, she complains about hotel rooms, food choices, and even how we parent. She brings drama where we want peace.

When we go away, I want to reconnect with my kids, have fun, and feel refreshed. Adding someone who constantly criticizes and expects to be taken care of—physically and financially—just didn’t make sense.

A few days back, my husband and I were sitting and planning for a family summer trip. Just us, our two children, and the beach! But when my MIL heard, she invited herself, saying it’s been a while since she went on vacation. At first, I considered it, thinking she’ll help with the kids, and my husband and I could get much-needed alone time. But she bluntly refused when I brought it up.

She Wants a Free Ride.

“I’m not a free babysitter”, she told us, adding that she wants a vacation, not a nanny duty. My blood boiled. Not only was she suggesting we pay for her plane ticket, stay, and food, but she was also straight up refusing to be helpful.

That’s when my husband shocked me and said, “You can’t seriously expect us to pay for your vacation? Don’t you have any savings?”. My husband usually has a soft-corner for his mother but this time we were on the same page and it made me really happy.

She Played the “Single Mother” Card.

My MIL was upset. She said we were being selfish, ungrateful, and cold, just because she was retired and broke now. She brought up past incidents where she helped us financially, like contributing to pay our wedding expenses, taking us on fancy vacations, and giving us expensive gifts on special days. “I was a single mother, and yet I worked hard to support and take care of my son. You OWE some care back to me,” she added, looking at my husband and me. While I’m grateful for all that, we never asked for any of it. She willingly made those expenses, and now she’s holding them against us. If my husband and I were loaded, I wouldn’t mind taking my MIL on our trip. But we’re not. She could’ve AT LEAST agreed to babysit, but nope.

So, we ended up telling HER “no” for the trip. She stormed off angrily and hasn’t contacted us since. I told my mother about all this, and she told me that I could’ve been “nicer” to my MIL and instead of taking a long-distance trip, we could’ve taken a “cheaper” destination and included her as well. I see her point, but should I really sacrifice our happiness to accommodate my MIL? I’d love to hear your opinions.

Another woman wrote to us recently, detailing her situation with her “overbearing” MIL. Read her letter here: I Kicked My MIL Out of Our House to Protect My Marriage