I Had to Leave My Own House Because of the Mess My 36 Y.O. Stepdaughter Made

Life often throws unexpected challenges our way, like when a Reddit user had to deal with their adult stepdaughter and her children moving in. What seemed like a good idea turned into a lot of problems. This story is about love, setting boundaries, and making tough decisions for our own well-being.

The lady told her version of what happened.

I married my husband when his daughter, Trudi, was 22, she is now 36. He was 47 and I was 32. I have two kids, 20 and 18 now. Both are away at college.

Trudi never liked me, and that was fine. She has a mother, and she was a full adult living on her own when we met. Her parents had been divorced for six years when I met her father.

We live in a city with lots of tourism, so it was an easy decision to keep my apartment and do short-term rentals when my kids and I moved in with my husband. We also use it for out-of-town guests.

Trudi and her husband ran into some financial problems last year. Trudi and her family of four moved in with us. We agreed that after the holidays, I would stop taking reservations for my apartment, and they could move in there. They would sign a lease, and we would «rent» it to them without collecting rent so they could build up rental history and money.

Trudi moved in last October. It was hell. She doesn’t help around the house, and neither do her kids. Her husband is working hard to get money together for them, so he comes home exhausted. And he is more help than her or their kids.

The three of them leave dirty dishes everywhere. Dirty laundry everywhere. The house is just a mess. I have spoken to all of them, including my husband, about this. My son-in-law is the only one who makes an effort. Trudi said that I live in her father’s house, so I don’t get to tell her what to do. My husband did not back me up.

So I moved out. My apartment is now empty since the holidays are over. I said I didn’t want them treating my property like they were treating my husband’s home.

They are all mad at me for leaving and changing the plan. She threatened to sue me since they have a signed lease. I told her to go ahead since I could prove that I never got the agreed-upon deposit or the first and last month’s rent (which we were going to «cover» to help them start over).

I’ve been here for a week now and it is great. No noise, no mess, and a much better commute for me to my work. My husband has been spending a few nights a week here with me. He wants me to come home and give them the apartment like we agreed. I said I would do that if we went back to his house that minute, and it was in good shape.

The narrator’s voiceover goes here, «It was not.» It was disgusting like it smelled bad. It was as if five teenage boys were living there with no supervision.

She saw me looking around in disgust and said that it wasn’t her fault and that the mess was because they didn’t have their own living space. Yeah, sure. I turned around and went back to my place.

I offered to let my husband move in with me if he wanted them to have their own space. He won’t because he is retired and likes where he is.

So like I said, they are all mad at me. My husband, Trudi, and her kids. Trudi’s husband is the only one who understands my position. I will no longer agree to let them in my apartment and I will also only move back once they leave.

Others on Reddit supported her.

• ’’If it’s HIS house then this is his problem. OP should start cutting ties financially and relationship-wise. He’s a pushover who doesn’t have his wife’s back. The time to start an exit plan is now.’’
  Sunbeamsoffglass / Reddit
• ’’It’s your apartment and you’d be doing them a huge favor by letting them stay there FOR FREE — a favor they don’t deserve. If she can’t respect «her father’s house» then you have no reason to believe she’d respect yours either.
  Your husband should be having a conversation telling this grown-ass adult to stop behaving like a child.
  Don’t waste another ounce of your patience and kindness on people who clearly have no consideration for yours.’’ familiarutopia / Reddit
• «You have been supportive and gracious. You have tried to compromise. All of it has been rejected. It’s time to consult an attorney to discuss your options and protect your interests. It’s obvious your husband won’t.» GTFU-Already / Reddit

• «Your husband is going to need to be given an ultimatum: you or them. And stop letting him sleep over. You are letting him get away from it. Make sure you are not paying any of the bills for your husband’s house, tell him you won’t move back till they have gone, and the whole place has been professionally deep cleaned (he is paying for that)!» Successful_Bath1200 / Reddit
• «You aren’t being firm enough in your response, your husband clearly doesn’t understand that he’s allowing not only your home to be disrespected, but he’s allowing YOU to be disrespected. That’s not ok. Why would you want to go back to that environment at all? I won’t say divorce — but therapy could be a very good option.» Adorable-Substance21 / Reddit

Even though deciding to leave her home was really tough for OP, it was also a way to take care of herself, to protect her mental and emotional well-being. Gretchen is another woman who left her house when her husband’s parents came to visit uninvited. Read her story here.