I Refuse to Bail My Brother Out of Trouble, He’s Not My Problem

Siblings are supposed to stick together no matter what. But what happens when a brother asks for too much? That’s the case for Debra. She’s dealing with parents who would do anything for their son and a brother who always finds himself wrapped in trouble.

Here’s Debra’s story.

Hi Bright Side,

I’ve been the forgotten child ever since I was born. Meanwhile, my brother has been the problem child. Just a few days ago, he got himself in jail from his piles of debt, among other things, and my parents had to bail him out by selling my grandma’s jewelry, which I planned to wear to my wedding.

I was devastated, but that’s not even the worst of it. After he got out, my parents asked me to share my savings with him to get him back on his feet. I wasn’t about to give him anything, but I went along with it and said I’d think about it.

Then I walked out and called my best friend, who’s a lawyer. I laid everything out for her, and she said they can’t do this. So, I asked her to be my “lawyer” and she came with me to my parents. She made it clear by saying that I can’t share my bank account details with anyone. She said if they kept escalating matters, then I could take legal action.

Now, my parents are furious. They’re telling me I embarrassed them and that I should’ve handled it in the family instead of involving a lawyer. And my brother has been texting me non-stop, saying I’ve ruined his life and how I don’t care about his future. Did I go too far?

Sincerely,
Debra J.

This is what the Bright Side Team thinks.

Hello Debra,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Your brother does sound like a handful and your parents only seem to excuse whatever he does. They can’t ask you to give him a share of your savings account. That’s your hard-earned money.

Your brother should find a job and get back on his feet with the help of your parents. They can let him live at their place until he finds a source of income and then goes on to live independently, like any other grown adult.

As for what you did with the lawyer, it may have been slightly excessive. Your parents didn’t force you to give your brother the share. Instead, you could’ve just said no and told them you don’t want to. That way, it avoids a third party in the situation.

Your brother’s texts are a childish reaction to what happened. You don’t have to text him back, but if you want to, you can tell him that you’re not obligated to pay for anything and it’s best if he finds a job and builds a life for himself independently.

Dealing with an entitled family member is often frustrating. They feel like you owe them everything without showing an ounce of gratitude. Just look at how this family was torn apart by someone’s entitled behavior.