I Refuse to Buy an Expensive Ring for My Fiancée

Proposing is one of those big life moments you want to get right. It’s not just about the ring, it’s about love, timing, and what kind of future you’re trying to build. Family often plays a big role, whether you want them involved or not. But when emotions run high, even good intentions can get messy fast.

When proposals get complicated.

Hey Bright Side!

So, my girlfriend and I have been dating for two years, and I really feel like it’s time to propose. I wanted to do it right, so I asked her sisters for advice on what kind of ring she’d like.

They showed me one that was crazy expensive, like, way out of my budget. I didn’t want to start a life with her by going into debt, so I found a ring that I thought was still nice, just way cheaper.

Caught in the middle.

When I showed them the ring, they literally laughed and said stuff like, “She’ll be embarrassed to wear that!” I brushed it off at first, but then my girlfriend called me in tears.

She said her sisters told her I’m not a good match for her and that I don’t deserve her, but they wouldn’t say why. She asked me what they meant, and I honestly didn’t know what to say, so I just told her to brush it off.

Pressure over perfection.

I confronted her sisters about it, and they straight up told me, “If you don’t buy her the right ring, we’ll tell her everything.” I don’t even know what “everything” means.

That I asked for help? That I went cheaper? I don’t know.

Love, money, and family.

Now I feel stuck. If I give her a ring, it could hurt her feelings or make her think I don’t value her. But if I try to get the one her sisters pushed, I’ll be starting our marriage with debt I honestly can’t afford.

I love her and want to marry her, but this whole thing is messing with my head. What would you guys do?

Thank you for reaching us! We tried to gather some piece of advice for your situation, hope it helps.

1. Talk to your girlfriend before doing anything else.

One way to amp up your discussions is to talk about anything and everything. Don’t bring up the ring drama right away. Tell her how much you care, that you wanted help picking something she’d love, and that her sisters made it complicated.

Be honest, not dramatic. Maybe she doesn’t even care that much, or maybe she’d prefer something simple and meaningful over flashy. You’ll never know until you ask. Don’t guess.

2. Don’t propose until you feel good about it.

Not perfect, not rich, just good. If you’re feeling panicked, forced, or boxed in by her family, step back. Take a breath. You can still propose later.

A rushed moment full of pressure isn’t a great start to something huge. There’s no need to fly blind when you have a concrete process to fall back on, so decide how you will analyze your options and stick to them.

3. Remember: she’s choosing you, not the jewelry.

If you guys are truly ready to get married, the ring shouldn’t be the deciding factor. If it is, then maybe this relationship isn’t as solid as you thought. But chances are, she’s upset because she cares and things feel messy, not because she wants a fancier gemstone.

In the end, love isn’t measured by money or tradition—it’s built on honesty, trust, and shared values. Even when things get complicated, what matters most is staying true to what feels right. With clarity and care, most challenges can lead to something stronger.