I Absolutely Refuse to Leave Inheritance to a Family That Treats Me Like an ATM

Family & kids
3 weeks ago
I Absolutely Refuse to Leave Inheritance to a Family That Treats Me Like an ATM

Anna, 75, sent us a powerful letter that shook our readers. After a lifetime of hard work, she learned her family valued her money more than her love. Heartbroken but resolute, Anna made a bold choice: to finally put herself first. Here’s her moving, dramatic story.

Here’s an email Anna sent to us and her story:

"Hi Bright Side,

I just turned 75, and honestly, I thought I’d be surrounded by family and love by now. Instead, I got a birthday “gift” that made my stomach drop.

A bit of background: I worked as a nurse for 45 years: long shifts, weekends, holidays. I saved every penny, bought my house at 50, and built a modest retirement fund. Nothing extravagant, just enough to live comfortably.

My son (44) used to be kind. But somewhere along the way, I became “the money source.” His wife, Maya, keeps things polite but distant. The grandkids don’t know me unless there’s a check involved.

I’ve helped them a lot: paid for part of their house renovation, loaned money that was never paid back, and even gifted them a family vacation. But when I needed help after a bad fall, my son told me to “hire someone.”

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Anna, you have done the right thing in my view. I have been estranged from my mother for many years after being her target for mental abuse my entire life (in part due to her mental illness). My 2 youngest children have also been her target on many occasions in very cruel attacks & both ceased contact. My oldest son however (the 1st grandchild she lived close to & saw almost daily as a baby & toddler) has always been treated as a favourite. He has always maintained contact despite living a 14 hour drive away, with regular phone calls, flowers on special occasions & at least one road trip a year to see her. I know he doesn't care about her net worth (which is megar) as him and his wife make a decent living, own their home & enjoy trips etc. Recently my mother was dividing her assets and going into a rental at 97 years. My son would only agree to take some money if it legally put into trust for his children's education. He was also sent with a message to my younger 2 children to get in touch. (One of them has 3 children and the other has none) They both declined citing their relationship with her and saying "getting in touch" would not be to reconnect in any way. I'm very proud of them doing what's right and not being greedy.
Enjoy your money while you can, your son & his family are greedy and very unkind. If you lived in a retirement home with no assets, It doesn't sound like they would be frequent visitors or contribute to your comfort in any way.
Even if you have to do a reverse mortgage, reward all your hard work; enjoy some trips and a lovely cruise!

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This year, I invited them for a small birthday dinner. My son handed me an envelope and said, “Open it when you’re alone.” I thought it was a sweet card or maybe a photo. Nope. It was a spreadsheet titled Mom’s Property and Market Value. Every item I own has a note about who should get it. House, jewelry, stocks, all neatly “assigned.”

I sat there that night and cried. Not because they wanted my stuff, but because it finally clicked: they don’t love me. They love what I have.

So two weeks later, I called them over again and read my new will. Everything I own is going to an elder care home I support. My son turned red, Maya looked shocked, and the grandkids didn’t even glance up from their phones.

I haven’t heard from them since. And honestly, I feel lighter. But I still wonder, did I go too far? Am I the bad guy here?"

Bright Side readers shared their raw opinions about Anna’s tough family situation:

  • quietpine_92:
    You didn’t go too far at all. You worked your whole life and earned the right to decide what happens with what’s yours. If they only cared about your money, losing the inheritance is the least they deserve.
  • Mira.kay
    I feel torn. I get why you did it, but cutting your family off completely... that’s huge. Maybe a smaller gesture could’ve made the point without ending the relationship.
  • user2021x
    This broke my heart. My grandma went through something similar. People forget that money can be replaced, but once trust is gone, it’s over. I hope you find peace with your choice.

Enjoy the silence. When my mother -my last living parent, my father died the year before - died, all the family came to the funeral and paid their respects, got a few questions about what I was getting, and a couple of asks for loans from my father's USPS pension. I cut everyone off, knowing I wasn't going to see them ever again. I never went to my godmother's funeral and never saw any of them again. Now I hear I'm the last one living. I win.

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  • silverfish88:
    I can kind of see it from your son’s side. Maybe he thought you’d want your assets to stay “in the family.” Not saying the spreadsheet was okay, but maybe it was clumsy, not cruel.
  • neoncat!
    The spreadsheet alone tells you everything you need to know. That’s not “practical,” it’s disrespectful. You’re not a wallet. You’re their mother.
  • brad_77:
    You sound really hurt, and understandably so. But I wonder if the years of distance and resentment built up on both sides. Maybe therapy or mediation could help, even now.

I am not a frequent visitor to this page but some of the responses that were right after the article infuriated me enough to respond. The mira, silverfish, and brad people are totally clueless! Did they not read her letter?? She has been treated horribly by her son and daughter in law and to say she may have gone too far is ridiculous. Honestly anyone that takes up or gives her son excuses may not be treating a loved one(s) any better than this lady's son! Inheritance is not a guarantee it is an act of love for those who deserve it!

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You saw through those self serving people who see themselves just like the lady's son. I wonder who they are not loving and waiting for a payday. You do reap what you sow. No surprises here.

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Thank You for speaking up. All these comments supporting the adult son are despicable.It sadly shows how horrible this generation of kids are. I saw this all too often working in the nursing field. Before the body was even cold kids were fighting over the Will.

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Their silence says more than enough. It's yours, not theirs. Don't change your will when they come back with the plan they've been working on

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  • owlonmydesk
    Nope, not a villain. Just a woman finally setting a boundary. And honestly, the silence afterward says everything about their priorities.
  • luna_reacts
    I think your reaction came from a place of pain, not revenge. You wanted them to see you, not your net worth. Sadly, it sounds like they never did.
  • F0xglove23
    That letter to them about the will was actually kind of bold. Harsh, yes, but also fair. You turned your disappointment into something meaningful.

Bright Side team has a piece of advice for Anna:

Dear Anna,

You’ve spent your life giving: your time, care, and money, to people who forgot what gratitude looks like. What you did wasn’t cruel; it was a boundary drawn in permanent ink. Still, it might help to write your son a short, calm letter explaining why you made that choice, not to justify yourself, but to close the door gently, not slam it. It could give you peace even if he never replies. At the same time, try to build new connections: volunteering, book clubs, even online communities, where kindness isn’t conditional. You deserve to be seen as a person, not a balance sheet.

For nearly three decades, Susan raised a little boy who wasn’t born to her, but who became her entire world. Instead of gratitude, Susan was met with something far colder. In a single, casual sentence, all those years of sleepless nights and unconditional care were dismissed, as if she was nothing more than a stranger crashing someone else’s family celebration. Gently but firmly pushed aside — unwelcome and invisible.

Her story made us question: how fragile are the bonds we believe to be unbreakable? How easily can love be overshadowed by ignorance or pride? We invite you to read Susan’s full letter here. She needs your opinion and advice.

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